You don’t need a new diet or exercise program for better health. You need a complete reset of how you live, think, and care for yourself. The reset requires consistency, which has little to do with doing the same thing daily without fail. It is all about being adaptable and responsive to what your body and mind need in the moment

Courtney Townley, the author of The Consistency Code,  joins me today to redefine consistency for midlife women. What I love about Courtney’s perspective is how deeply it aligns with what we teach here: that health is not a look, a number, or a size. It’s the foundation that helps you pursue the real purpose you were put on this earth for. 

We explore the truth about stress, why women are carrying more emotional and mental load than ever before, and how to begin honoring your needs in a consistent, compassionate way—without perfection, punishment, or hustle. Courtney also breaks down her powerful four-part consistency framework and shares the broken mindset keeping so many women stuck.

 

Conclusion:

Your health is not a destination. It’s a direction that requires consistency. And when you redefine consistency as self-honoring rather than self-punishment, everything shifts. Start with one small aligned choice today, build awareness around what you truly need, and give yourself permission to grow, expand, and evolve without perfection.

 

In This Episode:

00:00 Meet Courtney Townley

02:55 The inspiration behind “The Consistency Code”

06:20 Why health is not about appearance

08:38 Necessary versus unnecessary stress

11:17 Moving from cellular health to soul health

17:50 Defining consistency in a meaningful way

23:50 What is the consistency code?

30:55 How to organize your life for consistency

33:14 Creating power moves to honor yourself

39:43 Building emotional agility and a follow-through plan

  

Books Mentioned in the Episode:

The Consistency Code by Courtney Townley  

The Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter

 

Join the waiting list for Carrie’s upcoming book, From Corset to Crown!

Sign up here: https://www.carrielupoli.com/corsettocrown   

 

Listen to This Episode on Your Favorite Podcast Channel:

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Connect with Courtney Townley:

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Connect with Carrie Lupoli:

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Podcast Blog

Other Related Episodes: 

Looking for more tips to optimize health without dietary restrictions? Listen to these episodes:

• We Don’t Care Club: Why Midlife Women Are Ditching Perfectionism
• Why Diets Don’t Work For Women Over 40

 

Transcript: 

[00:00:00] Courtney Townley: Trying to determine someone's health by looking at them is a lot like trying to understand their life by looking at their social media account. Health is not a look because you can look at me right now and say that, oh wow, your body looks great. But internally, I was imploding my attempt at trying to sell the very unsexy part of behavior change because let's face it, most of behavior change is incredibly unsexy.

[00:00:23] Courtney Townley: We are expecting ourselves to perform at such high levels without ever asking the question. What do I have to give today? 

[00:00:31] Carrie Lupoli: I am beyond thrilled to introduce you to an incredible guest on today's show. Courtney Townley, the author of. The consistency code, a midlife women's Guide to Deep health and Happiness.

[00:00:42] Carrie Lupoli: And if you've ever wondered if the key to better health is more than just another diet, well, you're gonna love this conversation because Courtney brings a fresh, transformative, and totally amazing approach that aligned beautifully with everything we talk about here on the Diet Disruptors Podcast. It is about [00:01:00] living and thinking and caring for ourselves in a whole new way.

[00:01:03] Carrie Lupoli: So stick around because this is going to be an empowering session that just might be the reset you've been looking for.

[00:01:13] Carrie Lupoli: Well, hey, diet disruptors. Today's episode is one that you are going to leave with so many tools. Like I, I can't even tell you how excited I am about this guest. I mean, I don't have a lot of guest soccer show 'cause I, I like to talk. I like to talk about my stuff. I like to talk about the things that I'm super passionate about, and one of the things is that there's not a lot of other guests that totally align with this stuff I hold true to, and this is one guest.

[00:01:46] Carrie Lupoli: Who does Just that I, I, I am just so thrilled to be able to introduce you guys all to Courtney Townley, who is the author of the Consistency Code. And if I say anything, I always say, you do not need to be perfect, you just need to be [00:02:00] consistent. And Courtney has cracked. Literally the code on how to do that.

[00:02:05] Carrie Lupoli: So health and self-leadership, coach Courtney. Ah, welcome. I'm so excited to have here. 

[00:02:10] Courtney Townley: Oh my gosh, I'm so happy to be here and I'm, I'm so honored because I totally get that, like not just having anyone on your show and I madly respect that. So it's a huge honor to be here. 

[00:02:19] Carrie Lupoli: Well, we made sure we connected first.

[00:02:21] Carrie Lupoli: Yeah. And I was like, please tell me, we're not gonna be talking about calories or fasting or any of that stuff. And you were like, no. In fact, your book is like, I, I enjoyed every minute of reading it and I can't wait to talk about this because in, in what I teach and what I'm really passionate about. Like the food is actually the easy part.

[00:02:43] Carrie Lupoli: Even though it's the thing that like we completely like, feel like is the missing piece and we need to know. And you doubled down on the stuff that actually really matters. Yeah. Beyond the food. Yeah. So what was the inspiration of writing this? [00:03:00] Because I know you didn't just pick up a pen and decide to write, this is a result of.

[00:03:04] Carrie Lupoli: Decades of work. 

[00:03:06] Courtney Townley: Yeah. Um, well, I will say that, you know, you're right. I mean, you're right, it's decades of work, but 10 years ago I started teaching a course called the Consistency Code and it was my. My attempt at trying to sell the very unsexy part of behavior change, because let's face it, most of behavior change is incredibly unsexy.

[00:03:26] Courtney Townley: And I, I ran that course obviously enough times, over enough years that a lot of people were like, Hey, you know, you should kind of, you should turn this into a book because it'd be a lot easier to digest. Than going through a four week program. Um, and of course I'm still a huge advocate of the four week program because there, it's one thing to consume information, it's something very different to apply it.

[00:03:45] Courtney Townley: So the course obviously helps people to apply. But I started to get an itch about five years ago to write the book. Um, I'm kind of embarrassed to admit that it took me five years, but if you know anything about the book writing process, I know you're writing your own book right now. There's just so [00:04:00] much that I didn't know.

[00:04:01] Courtney Townley: I mean, I went into book writing completely unaware of the process, which is kind of how a lot of people go into health, right? Improving their health. They're just unaware of all the bits and pieces that go into that equation. So I had to talk to a lot of people who knew a lot more than I did about book writing.

[00:04:16] Courtney Townley: Um, I, of course stalled many times over because of all the reasons, you know, I just got in my own way and life got in the way. Um, but here we are finally with a published book and it feels really good. 

[00:04:26] Carrie Lupoli: That is interesting because it does very much parallel the health and nutrition journey. Um, many, many, many women.

[00:04:33] Carrie Lupoli: And you, you talk about in the, in the book right after you had your child, kind of how you quote unquote bounced back and everybody's like, oh, you look great, but you were not doing great. 

[00:04:45] Courtney Townley: Not at all. I lost a lot of weight very quick. I mean, I, I didn't gain a tremendous amount of weight during my pregnancy, but, you know, you, you gain a healthy, like 30, 40 pounds and I had a pretty traumatic childbirth.

[00:04:56] Courtney Townley: Um. My, my son was very healthy, thank God. [00:05:00] Um, but it was, it was all around one of the most disorienting experiences of my life because I just wasn't prepared for motherhood as so many women aren't. I didn't realize what I was getting myself into, but then on top of it, to have my physical being kind of be struggling at the same time, um, and then my mental and emotional health struggling at the same time.

[00:05:21] Courtney Townley: It was just a lot. Right. I was really in the rumble of new motherhood. And everyone who came to my house to see the baby, um, kept saying to me like, the one thing they wanted to focus on was how quickly I'd lost the baby weight. Like, that's, that's the litmus test of success, but exactly. I mean, it, it really was that moment.

[00:05:41] Courtney Townley: There were a few moments, but that was like, I think the straw that broke the camel's back where I was like, we have this so wrong. So wrong, and I had already spent a decade helping a lot of women lose a lot of weight and, you know, recomp their bodies and get to their, their goal body weight and all the things.

[00:05:58] Courtney Townley: But the patterns that I was [00:06:00] seeing in them, and then the narrative that I was hearing from all the people coming to see me as I was struggling through motherhood, it was like, okay, this, we've got something wrong here. Like health is not a look because you can look at me right now and say that, oh wow, your body looks great.

[00:06:15] Courtney Townley: But internally, I was imploding. 

[00:06:18] Carrie Lupoli: I mean, and, and let's be honest, when someone says, oh, you look great, it means, oh, you look small. 

[00:06:23] Courtney Townley: Right? Totally 

[00:06:24] Carrie Lupoli: right. That's it. That's all it is. It's not about anything else. And I just love what you said, health is not a look. Yeah. So let's dig into that because when I ask women what they want, they will say to me that they wanna be healthy, but what they really want is they wanna be smaller.

[00:06:39] Carrie Lupoli: That really, that's what we want, right? And so if we think about what do we really want? We say we wanna be healthy. You dig deep into a whole chapter before we actually get to the consistency code. Well, what does health even mean? Because I don't even think we really know what we want or what health.[00:07:00] 

[00:07:00] Carrie Lupoli: Actually means, 

[00:07:02] Courtney Townley: but that's just it. Carrie, I don't think we've ever paused to ask the question because we're just conditioned. We're just told what health means. It means a, a clothing size. It means a certain look, right? It means an athletic achievement. Um, I think what made me so passionate, especially about that chapter, is that I've worked with so many athletes and trainers and coaches and people who know so much about diet and exercise, who have incredibly beautiful physiques.

[00:07:30] Courtney Townley: Who were also a very far cry from healthy, and they knew it. And that's why they hired me because they were like, what am I not getting here? You know? And so I, I say in the book, and I've said this for years, that, you know, trying to determine someone's health by looking at them is a lot like trying to understand their life by looking at their social media account.

[00:07:47] Courtney Townley: Wow, that's, it's, nothing's 

[00:07:48] Carrie Lupoli: so good. 

[00:07:49] Courtney Townley: It's so superficial. Like, you know, it tells you. Yeah, maybe the color of their skin, the color of their hair, like, you know, their, yes a certain size, but it doesn't really [00:08:00] tell you about the integrity of their, their cells or the happiness of their life and the fulfillment in their life.

[00:08:07] Carrie Lupoli: If we really have to define it. 

[00:08:09] Courtney Townley: Yeah. How do you help women unpack what it is? So there's a thousand ways I explain what health is that I think is more useful in the book. But I, I, I will share this on the, the podcast just for sake of time that I think the most important thing to remember is that health is an exercise in stress management period.

[00:08:27] Carrie Lupoli: Ugh. 

[00:08:28] Courtney Townley: Okay. So, and there's, so there's, it's a two part. Very unsexy equation. Like it. It's very simple, but it's also if we know simple isn't easy, okay? 

[00:08:37] Carrie Lupoli: No, it is not. 

[00:08:38] Courtney Townley: So the first part of the equation is we have to reduce unnecessary stress in our life. So unnecessary stress are the things that are coming in that have real no long-term benefit.

[00:08:52] Courtney Townley: So they might temporarily satisfy you for a moment or two, but in the long run, they're actually robbing you of your [00:09:00] wellbeing. So this might be like, ha, not having boundaries, staying in a career that you hate eating food that doesn't nourish you. Thinking thoughts that make you feel like hell about yourself.

[00:09:10] Courtney Townley: Right? That's all unnecessary stress. And we're almost putting it on ourselves. Oh, we to we're, we're so responsible for a lot of it. Yes. Yeah. I mean, and this, this is the thing we can only control. We can control. There's stress in your life that certainly you can't control, but how you think about those things you can control and how you manage those things, you can control.

[00:09:32] Courtney Townley: So we have to reduce the amount of unnecessary stress in our life, the things that rob us of our personal power, but simultaneously we need to be leaning into intentional stressors. Things that help to rebuild our personal power. So it's not a, it's not all about de-stressing your life. Stress is a beautiful, wonderful, amazing thing when it's used in the right doses for the right reasons.

[00:09:56] Courtney Townley: And these types of stressors are things like strength training, [00:10:00] right? Like building some muscle, like some, some resilience in the physical body. Um, starting to learn how to talk nicer to yourself. That's really uncomfortable at the beginning. Going after the things that actually put more life into your life, like the career you always wanted, or the book you always wanted to write, or the relationship that you always wanted to have.

[00:10:20] Courtney Townley: Those things are wildly uncomfortable, and yet they also help to make us, they expand our life. They make us healthier and happier. 

[00:10:29] Carrie Lupoli: Yes. I, I wrote so many things down as I was reading because I have like a notebook. I have, I love it. Me starting here and one of the things that you said, and I actually said this on my morning time live this morning.

[00:10:40] Carrie Lupoli: 'cause I go live every morning on Instagram. I love it. And I quoted you this morning because I said I was recording a podcast with this woman and you said a life without stress would be a life without growth. 

[00:10:51] Courtney Townley: Yeah. 

[00:10:52] Carrie Lupoli: What an amazing way to look at it. I always say stress is a mindset in all reality, and you just like nailed it in terms of [00:11:00] recognizing stress is not, stress is not, stress is a stress.

[00:11:02] Carrie Lupoli: Just like food is not food is food. It, it's like there's that necessary and then there's the unnecessary, I like to talk about it being the toxic or the productive and so it so huge for us to recognize that. And I think you're right. That's a big part of. This concept. Now you mentioned, uh, cells all the way to our happiness, and you talk about going from like health, being from cell, and I'm a big fan of cellular function, right?

[00:11:30] Carrie Lupoli: Because we're just made up of a bunch of cells, cell to soul. What does that. 

[00:11:35] Courtney Townley: So cellular health is the integrity of the cell, meaning your cells have a gazillion jobs to do, and you are basically just a giant puddle of cells in this skin suit, right? Like that's what we are. We're just a, we're tons and tons of cells.

[00:11:49] Courtney Townley: We and our cells have a lot of jobs to do. They detox, they transport, they, they repair, they do all kinds of things. And if our cells are not healthy. Of course we're not gonna be healthy as [00:12:00] humans, right? Biologically we're not gonna be healthy, and so we wanna be doing things that promote cellular integrity, that help to amplify ourselves jobs.

[00:12:09] Courtney Townley: And I call the base camp work base. Camp work is not the work of your life, okay? But we've made it the work of our life. I know lots of women who've made their bodies and their weight loss journeys, the work of their life. 

[00:12:21] Carrie Lupoli: I 

[00:12:21] Courtney Townley: say 

[00:12:22] Carrie Lupoli: all the time, we were not put 

[00:12:23] Courtney Townley: on this earth to find the right diet, but yet we live like we were, right?

[00:12:27] Courtney Townley: Like the real work of your life is the relationships and the things you're here to create and pursue and inspire in other people. That's the real work of your life and your biology. It's just what helps you do that work. So Basecamp is literally, um, I always say it's like the, the basic elements that we know help to improve human health.

[00:12:49] Courtney Townley: We know eating real food, getting sleep, hydrating, managing your mind, spending time in nature, being in community. These are things that we know help to improve the, the health of all humans. And [00:13:00] that does not get you to the summit that you're here to climb. It gets you to base camp. 

[00:13:05] Carrie Lupoli: So good. 

[00:13:06] Courtney Townley: It helps to enable you to go after the things that you are here to do.

[00:13:09] Courtney Townley: And so that's what I mean by cellular health. It's like, are you taking care of yourself on a day-to-day basis with the basic elements that help you do life? Because if you aren't helping your body on that fundamental level, you're really gonna struggle to live a life with impact. And isn't that what we all want?

[00:13:28] Courtney Townley: We wanna make an impact. 

[00:13:29] Carrie Lupoli: We were all put on this earth for a purpose. 

[00:13:31] Courtney Townley: Yes. 

[00:13:32] Carrie Lupoli: And it wasn't to weigh a certain amount, but it was to do a certain amount. Yeah. And without being able to serve our purpose, are we really healthy? Are we really living? And so this is why you and I are so synergistic. It's so good.

[00:13:44] Carrie Lupoli: I've never heard the base camp term before. And it is absolutely foundational for our beings because we have to realize that it doesn't end there. And as someone that got to their quote unquote goal away, at one point in her life, I was like. Now, wait, [00:14:00] now what? Yeah, 

[00:14:01] Courtney Townley: exactly. 

[00:14:01] Carrie Lupoli: What am I supposed to do? And I never even kind of dove into that because Doby told me there was something beyond that.

[00:14:09] Carrie Lupoli: And you are doing that work right now, which is so important. Okay. So we understand that with Basecamp, but where does Soul come in? 

[00:14:15] Courtney Townley: Yeah, soul is really like the heart of. Your humanity, right? Like what, what you wanna go after, what you like and don't like, who you wanna spend time with and don't wanna spend time with.

[00:14:27] Courtney Townley: Like soul work is, to me, the stuff that really puts life into your life on a emotional level, right? And there are so many reasons we don't go after those things. Largely self narrative. Um, we, we, we, we are the biggest obstacle in our own way. 

[00:14:45] Carrie Lupoli: Oh my gosh, in every 

[00:14:46] Courtney Townley: way. But what we know is psycho neuroimmunology is a study of science that literally looks at the correlation between how your self narrative, how your [00:15:00] ability to be with emotions impacts your biology.

[00:15:04] Courtney Townley: And it does in really profound ways. So how you are living your life, how you are thinking about your life. Literally affects the integrity of yourselves. And this is so much bigger than food and exercise. It is literally the health of your relationships. And let's face it, you're in a relationship with everything in your life with, you're in a relationship with exercise and food.

[00:15:29] Courtney Townley: You're in a relationship with the natural world. You're in a relationship with time, with yourself, with other people. So what is the quality of those relationships? Because if they aren't healthy. You are not healthy. 

[00:15:43] Carrie Lupoli: Yes. 

[00:15:44] Courtney Townley: So we wanna improve our relationships. We wanna spend time in environments that actually promote health, because being in front of junk light all the time, the, the computer screens, the TV screens, the, the junk light, uh, the fluorescent light bulbs in our house, obviously is costing US health.[00:16:00] 

[00:16:00] Courtney Townley: Um, being in noisy polluted environments cost us our health. Being in environments that don't feel safe. Costs us our health. And even I think our spiritual wellbeing, which I just like to think of as our sense of purpose, right? Like, do you have, like, do you get outta bed in the morning and, and feel excited about the day?

[00:16:19] Courtney Townley: Because if you don't, that's a problem. You 

[00:16:23] Carrie Lupoli: could be the whatever weight you wanted to be and not feel that and you are not healthy. 

[00:16:29] Courtney Townley: Yes. And how many people have you and I probably both worked with who were exactly in that situation where they had done all the physical work they had? They're a fit. They can, you know, wear the clothing, the clothing that wear were in high school.

[00:16:42] Courtney Townley: Um, they look amazing. And yet they don't have healthy relationships. They don't like who they are. Um, they don't like their careers. So how is that health? 

[00:16:53] Carrie Lupoli: Right. Right. Exactly. And I love that you're redefining this for us, but the thing is, and this [00:17:00] is what, why your book is so important for people, especially women, right?

[00:17:04] Carrie Lupoli: Because I, I'll have a lot of women that say to me, their husbands are like, why do you need, why do you need to work with someone like Carrie? Right. Why do you need to work with someone like Courtney? Like just do it. Just, just do it. 

[00:17:13] Carrie Lupoli: Yeah. Yeah. 

[00:17:15] Carrie Lupoli: Especially for women, just doing it is not as easy as the simplicity seems like it should be.

[00:17:23] Carrie Lupoli: And so you really kind of help women. Get into the mindset of how do I actually show up consistently for myself so that I can be healthy? Because like to, to your point, I mean, there's a million books on health in terms of food, but there's nothing like this showing us actually how to be consistent. So let's dig into what the code is because it, well, actually, before we even dig into the four parts of the code, I, I, I think you bring out in your writing something that.

[00:17:58] Carrie Lupoli: Seems so [00:18:00] obvious, but we never talk about, like we all say the word consistency and we know that it's important, but you actually define what consistency is, what it is not, and then some like what you call hidden habits around consistency and you literally take it down like five more levels. So I think we need to like actually start there and then be able to go from there because I, I think if we don't really understand what consistency is and isn't.

[00:18:25] Carrie Lupoli: Then we can't ever achieve it. 

[00:18:27] Courtney Townley: Well, I think there's the idea that, again, we're conditioned into, which is that consistency is doing the same thing over and over again till you die. Okay. Well that is a great recipe for misery, right? Yeah. Nobody wants to live their life that way. And also that completely disregards how humans work because stress levels are always changing.

[00:18:47] Courtney Townley: We're always changing. We're evolving, hopefully, which means our likes and dislikes are changing. Uh, what we wanna go after is changing. And so life and stress is dynamic. Why isn't our approach to self-care? [00:19:00] So consistency? I mean, really I think that the, the, the core of it, the meat of it, the consistency that I add advocate for in the book is consistent self-honoring.

[00:19:11] Courtney Townley: And that means that we show up day in and day out to honor. What we need to live as authentic and fully expressed humans, and that is not gonna look like the same thing every day, because let's base it. If I didn't get sleep last night and I have a ton of stress happening in my life, and I'm signed up for a 5:00 AM bootcamp class, that that may not be the best recipe for today.

[00:19:39] Courtney Townley: I, I, I actually read that 

[00:19:42] Carrie Lupoli: part yesterday and I had just come off of a, a, a 24 hour trip to California. I live on the east coast. I went to California for 24 hours and I came back. I was exhausted and yet my plan on paper was to work out at seven o'clock in the morning, and I read [00:20:00] this on the plane and then said, I'm not working out.

[00:20:03] Carrie Lupoli: Oh, that makes my heart on Wednesday morning, because I knew you, you. You really made me realize I would actually be putting more stress in my body. But then this morning I was like, I don't get to just not work out. I got plenty of sleep last night. I didn't want to work out. 

[00:20:18] Courtney Townley: That's different. 

[00:20:19] Carrie Lupoli: But I knew that integrity, self-honoring, and loving myself meant I still 

[00:20:25] Courtney Townley: had to show up.

[00:20:26] Courtney Townley: There's, I love that you're bringing this up because there is a massive difference between not having the resources and not having the desire. Right. Like, because we don't always feel like working out, even though we, well, I never feel like working out. Right. We never feel like working out. Right, exactly.

[00:20:44] Courtney Townley: Effort filled. And so recognizing that there's a difference between not wanting to do something just because it's, you know, it's just not convenient and it requires a little effort. Versus literally having so few resources on board. I call it low resource availability, [00:21:00] and women not being considerate of their own resource.

[00:21:04] Courtney Townley: Availability, I think is one of the very reasons we have so much dysfunction in women's health. We are, we are putting so much into our day. We are expecting ourselves to perform at such high levels without ever asking the question, what do I have to give today? 

[00:21:23] Carrie Lupoli: Yes. 

[00:21:24] Courtney Townley: Like again, and that, and resources, meaning time, energy, mental bandwidth, those resources are all renewable, but you don't get an endless supply.

[00:21:36] Carrie Lupoli: Mm-hmm. They're consumable, 

[00:21:38] Courtney Townley: right? So if you aren't taking time to regenerate those resources, obviously time you can't regenerate. But energy and mental bandwidth, you certainly can. But if you aren't giving yourself the time and space to regenerate. You're just running the well dry and then you can't show up for yourself and you convince yourself you're a horrible person and you'll never [00:22:00] succeed.

[00:22:00] Courtney Townley: So that's all really helpful 

[00:22:02] Carrie Lupoli: and that's where if you were showing up consistently with that mindset, how much more you'd actually get done then trying to go full force, draining yourself and truly at the end of the day then, and not even at the end of the day, but right at the end of like years, because that's what it ends up being.

[00:22:21] Carrie Lupoli: You're literally done. You're done and, and it's like, that's when I see disease, literal disease, and you talk a lot about disease, but it translates into the physical disease of our body where we will not even be alive long enough to truly what I believe is fulfill our purpose. 

[00:22:39] Courtney Townley: And isn't it interesting that you know at midlife you, I know you and I both see this pattern a lot in our clients.

[00:22:44] Courtney Townley: Obviously midlife is a very challenging transition for us hormonally, and even just stress wise, we're usually carrying a large amount of stress at midlife. And a lot of women roll into midlife with a wildly dysregulated nervous system, [00:23:00] really jacked up biochemistry because they haven't been taking care of themselves.

[00:23:04] Courtney Townley: And then as estrogen and progesterone start to depart the party. We come up with this, this, this belief that, oh my gosh, all of a sudden my body's failing me. Yes. No, no, no, no, no. 

[00:23:14] Carrie Lupoli: We're mad at our body. We feel like we have to fix our 

[00:23:17] Courtney Townley: bodies, right? Like we haven't been showing up for our bodies, and now all of a sudden, because our bodies literally have less chemical resources on board, but we're not changing the way we live.

[00:23:28] Courtney Townley: Our bodies are just tapped out. 

[00:23:30] Carrie Lupoli: They've been trying to be our best friend. 

[00:23:32] Courtney Townley: Yeah, the body's, I always say the body isn't the problem. It's the way that we're living our, it's the weight of our life that's the problem. It's not the weight of the body. Um, and if we can start unpacking the weight of our life, which is those unnecessary stressors, we start getting resources back and we start feeling better, and then we can show up more easily.

[00:23:51] Carrie Lupoli: This is the message that we need to hear, not the move more, eat less. Take a drug, like we [00:24:00] gotta do this stuff and it changes everything. So, and again, not perfectly, but consistently. So how do we do that? Self-honoring consistently? What's the code, Courtney? Yeah. 

[00:24:11] Courtney Townley: So first I'll say this. The code is not a list of rules and regulations or cookie cutter anything.

[00:24:16] Courtney Townley: The code is a framework that you will stay circling through for the rest of your life. This work is never over as long as you have breath in your lungs. 

[00:24:25] Carrie Lupoli: Oh, love it. I love that because that's like, not like a 30 day challenge or you know, it's like there's no end in sight. And then that just allows us to continue to evolve as opposed to feel like we fail at site.

[00:24:39] Courtney Townley: Exactly. Yeah. Because we treat it so linearly, right? Like I'm supposed to arrive somewhere. Well, what happens after you arrive? It's not about arrival. It's about, and this is why I love saying that health is more of a direction than a destination because you will find a thousand times over in your lifetime that you are not traveling in the direction of health because you've made some misaligned [00:25:00] choices.

[00:25:00] Courtney Townley: Okay? So what is one decision you can make right now to realign into the direction of health? That's how simple it can be. So the framework, um, when you find yourself misaligned, which we all do often and much, it just happens because we're, yeah. 

[00:25:18] Carrie Lupoli: Like I feel super aligned at 10, and then by two I'm like, what?

[00:25:22] Carrie Lupoli: Lost where? 

[00:25:23] Courtney Townley: Right. But a lot of us aren't even like creating the, the time to be introspective, to acknowledge that we're misaligned. So we stay misaligned a lot longer than necessary, which means it's kinda like that campfire that dies down and then you have to spend so much time rebuilding it. 'cause it's a lot of work to build a fire, but if you keep the flame going, it's not so much work.

[00:25:44] Courtney Townley: So we want to be able to identify quicker when we're misaligned. And one of the questions I always ask my clients, and I'll just kind of throw this out there to your listeners, is what are your cues of misalignment? Mine [00:26:00] are, I get super reactive. I wanna eat a lot of sugar. I become very problem focused rather than solution oriented.

[00:26:09] Courtney Townley: Um, I get angry. Um, I could go on and on, right? And a lot of these probably sound familiar to a lot of people because a lot of our cues for misalignment are probably similar. But there are things that you probably do when you're misaligned that I don't necessarily do. 

[00:26:25] Carrie Lupoli: And, and that's where I actually just did an episode on this, on the Enneagram.

[00:26:27] Carrie Lupoli: I teach all of my clients about the Enneagram. And me knowing my Enneagram number has allowed me to recognize with when I, I wouldn't have necessarily seen it before. Yeah. What misalignment looks like. And for me, I shut down. 

[00:26:40] Courtney Townley: Yes. 

[00:26:40] Carrie Lupoli: I'm like. You're dead to me. Like I, I'm like, I get angry and I just, I will disengage.

[00:26:47] Carrie Lupoli: And I didn't realize that that was what, that was happening until my self-awareness shot up and understanding more about myself. 

[00:26:54] Courtney Townley: Yeah. So you just nailed it. So when we're misaligned and we know the cues of misalignment, we can catch 'em quicker. And then the [00:27:00] first, the first piece of the framework is a category of practices I just call self-awareness, right?

[00:27:05] Courtney Townley: It's the practice of awareness and there's a lot that sounds so simplistic. But man, do we avoid that work for so many reasons? Self-awareness is not a feel good exercise because it is literally standing in the arena with radical self-honesty. Right? Like, where am I contributing to my own suffering here?

[00:27:27] Courtney Townley: And 

[00:27:27] Carrie Lupoli: I can't blame. I can't blame, right? It's, it's because, 

[00:27:31] Courtney Townley: right? We also believe that there's something wrong with us often too. So we have to be able to do it without feeling like. We are innately broken. Definitely. And there's the attitude of curiosity, right? I love the, it's I, it's something I read long ago.

[00:27:43] Courtney Townley: I don't know where I read it, but you can't be curious and judgmental at the same time. 

[00:27:47] Carrie Lupoli: I wrote that down from your book. 

[00:27:49] Courtney Townley: Yes. And I love it. 

[00:27:50] Carrie Lupoli: I'm like, this is huge. 

[00:27:52] Courtney Townley: It's huge. Like literally you cannot be both. You can be curious or judgmental. Judgment is only gonna cause you to buffer, eat more crappy food, [00:28:00] skip your workout programs, do more self-loathing, but it's certainly not going to get you to take action.

[00:28:06] Courtney Townley: That improves your wellbeing where curiosity absolutely will. So we have to enter the waters. And curiosity just sounds like, isn't it interesting? Isn't it interesting that every time this person comes over, I want to binge on sugar when they leave. 

[00:28:22] Carrie Lupoli: Ooh. 

[00:28:23] Courtney Townley: Right. Isn't it interesting? As 

[00:28:24] Carrie Lupoli: opposed to, oh, I, I have to just eat right now that they drive me crazy.

[00:28:29] Courtney Townley: Yeah. Or you go down a whole rabbit hole of what a horrible person they are and da da, you know? Yeah. It's like put putting it outside of you. Yeah. And it's like, isn't it interesting that this is my behavior when I'm in their presence? 

[00:28:41] Carrie Lupoli: I love that phrase, isn't it interesting? No. 

[00:28:43] Courtney Townley: Powerful 

[00:28:43] Carrie Lupoli: because I talk all the time about no guilt, just data, and just really analyzing what's in front of you.

[00:28:48] Carrie Lupoli: So I, I think about like, isn't it interesting or I wonder why, right? Like those, one of the actual, uh, research has shown there, these. Character strengths that help us actually become more successful. Grit is one of them, and I [00:29:00] know Grit for is part of who you are. Curiosity is another one. And so I love that we're talking about that within this framework because it is so pivotal in terms of being able to build self-awareness.

[00:29:11] Carrie Lupoli: It's. Genius. So good. So 

[00:29:15] Courtney Townley: that self-awareness, there's lots of layers to awareness. And I go into the layers, obviously in the book. Um, but there's awareness of 15 

[00:29:22] Carrie Lupoli: is where 

[00:29:22] Courtney Townley: it 

[00:29:23] Carrie Lupoli: starts. 

[00:29:24] Courtney Townley: I know exactly the page. Yes, 

[00:29:26] Carrie Lupoli: yes. 

[00:29:27] Courtney Townley: Yeah, I wrote 

[00:29:27] Carrie Lupoli: it down. You know, 

[00:29:28] Courtney Townley: so it's becoming aware of how we're feeling, uh, what our body is asking of us, how we're thinking, what we're doing behaviorally.

[00:29:35] Courtney Townley: Um, all of that we have to kind of bring into the light. I always say like, healing happens in the light. It doesn't happen in dark corners, it doesn't happen under the bed with the dust bunnies. We have to expose it. And that's what self-awareness is. It's a practice of exposure. Um, and then the second part of the framework, once we become aware of, I always call it the mess because that's what it feels like.

[00:29:55] Courtney Townley: It feels like a giant mess. Like you came home from vacation and someone had a party in your house [00:30:00] and you flip the lights on and you're like, oh, dear God, where do I even start cleaning up? That's where, what self-awareness feels like. But once you turn the lights on and you see the mess, you simply just have to decide what room do you wanna start cleaning up in?

[00:30:12] Courtney Townley: It doesn't matter what room, because remember what health is. We have to just reduce some stress and lean into some uncomfortable things. So it doesn't matter what room you start cleaning up first, we just wanna pick a room. So maybe I wanna start with putting myself to bed a little earlier because I know that that's gonna have a lot of far reaching benefits to other behaviors.

[00:30:31] Courtney Townley: Okay, great. So now I have to organize myself. To start getting to bed earlier, I can't just assume that my brain is with everything else that has to do in a day that it's just automatically gonna decide to put me at bed at eight 30 tonight. That's not happening. 

[00:30:45] Carrie Lupoli: Yeah. 

[00:30:45] Courtney Townley: So how am I going to set up my environment and my schedule and my expectations of my day to allow myself to get into bed by eight 30?

[00:30:56] Carrie Lupoli: Yeah. When you started talking about the second part of the framework of organization Yeah. [00:31:00] I was like, where, where's she going with this? Yeah. Like, are we like color coding our files? Like what, because I, I would, I would be all up for color coding and post-it notes like, but it's so much deeper and more holistic than that.

[00:31:15] Carrie Lupoli: There's a level of. Intentionality. 

[00:31:18] Courtney Townley: So much 

[00:31:18] Carrie Lupoli: intentionality within the concept of organization and, and I, in my brain was thinking like organizing and you do talk about Marie Kondo and organizing and things like, but also like the idea of just truly being intentional around. Your environment, your systems, your time.

[00:31:38] Carrie Lupoli: Yeah. Your, your person, 

[00:31:40] Courtney Townley: and also your nervous system. So I think that we're obviously, and I'm so happy for this, we're having a lot more conversations about nervous system health and what it means to have a regulated nervous system. And a regulated nervous system means a system. That naturally oscillates throughout the day.

[00:31:56] Courtney Townley: So we go through periods of work and we should go through periods of rest [00:32:00] and recovery, periods of intense work, periods of rest and recovery. That is not how women live their life. Women live their life on the trajectory of increasing stress. Right. And then we wonder why at the end of the day we wanna binge eat and crash out in front of net Netflix and with a glass of wine.

[00:32:16] Carrie Lupoli: I mean, and that's literally like the day starts with coffee. It ends with wine, and we just feel like we bookend our days, but it really is a coping mechanism because of that nervous system. 

[00:32:27] Courtney Townley: Yeah, so a lot of people, you love to use the word self-sabotage. I hate the word because if you actually look up sabotage in the D dictionary.

[00:32:34] Courtney Townley: It's intentional harm. So self-sabotage would mean you're intentionally harming yourself. When you binge eat late in the day. You are not intentionally harming yourself. You're self-soothing. Your nervous system is saying, oh, 

[00:32:47] Carrie Lupoli: that's good. 

[00:32:48] Courtney Townley: Your nervous system is saying, you have been so disrespectful to me all day, and I am so wildly dysregulated, and I need to be soothed so much that I'm going to encourage you [00:33:00] to eat the entire bag of chips.

[00:33:01] Carrie Lupoli: Mm-hmm. Yep. 

[00:33:02] Courtney Townley: Then we call it self-sabotage. That's not what it is. It's self-soothing. Now, is it self-soothing that actually helps you in the long run? Of course not. 

[00:33:09] Carrie Lupoli: No. Which is why it ends up sabotaging at the end of the day. 

[00:33:12] Courtney Townley: Exactly. 

[00:33:13] Carrie Lupoli: Right, right, right. But you talk about that decision making as power moves.

[00:33:19] Carrie Lupoli: Yeah. And again, I'm looking at my notes because I've written everything down because what you're talking about is in that moment, well, I guess it's like two twofold, right? If you, if you have your life organized, hopefully you're not living at this level, right? Continuously going up to that place, and the decisions that you're making are actually either giving you power or.

[00:33:42] Courtney Townley: The opposite. 

[00:33:43] Carrie Lupoli: Yeah. 

[00:33:43] Courtney Townley: And go back to the example I gave earlier, just with sleep. Like if you wanted to get into bed by eight 30 at night, I know that seems sounds like mission impossible for a lot of people, but let's just say that that was the power move I was committed to. I know that going to bed at eight 30 tonight is gonna give me power tomorrow.

[00:33:57] Courtney Townley: That's why I'm committing to it. That's why it's called a power move. It's [00:34:00] putting more life into my life with intention. Yeah. 

[00:34:03] Carrie Lupoli: I think about that like with working out, like I'll, I'll vision cast myself at nine o'clock in the morning having worked out or having not worked out, and I feel so much more in power and control and powerful, even if I don't wanna do it at seven.

[00:34:15] Courtney Townley: Yeah. You're reminding yourself of the immediate benefit. 

[00:34:18] Carrie Lupoli: Yeah, I, I get to be, I get to feel good. I can, I get to base decisions on feelings, but future feelings. 

[00:34:24] Courtney Townley: Yeah. So again, the 8:30 PM bedtime, like in order for me to achieve that, I have to organize my day in such a way that doesn't make me bull right past that or start consuming Netflix or drinking so much wine that I just ignore all of that.

[00:34:38] Courtney Townley: So it's almost like I have to respect my nervous system in the way that I structure my day in order to. Arrive at that power move to follow through with that power move. So that's the third piece of the framework, is the practice of follow through. And this is probably where you and I do most of our coaching because you can have the best laid plans in the world.

[00:34:56] Courtney Townley: We often do, but then we don't follow through. We don't keep our promises to [00:35:00] ourselves. And why is that? Yeah, I 

[00:35:01] Carrie Lupoli: would say it's intentionality is one thing, but execution is actually where it happened, 

[00:35:05] Courtney Townley: right? 

[00:35:06] Carrie Lupoli: Action creates change. 

[00:35:08] Courtney Townley: It does. Action is is a very big deal. And so how do we take more consistent action?

[00:35:13] Courtney Townley: And what I found after being in the fat loss world for a decade. Was a lot of my clients, of course, got to their goal weight and then they would slowly start the slippery slope back to where they started. And that just blew my mind. Like, how could someone work for a year or 18 months on transforming their physicality only to unravel all that good work?

[00:35:32] Courtney Townley: And what I realized after more education was that they hadn't changed their identity. So they still thought of themselves in the same way that they did when they were 50, a hundred pounds heavier. So they were literally recreating that same person, and they also didn't have the skills of parenting their brain, which was, you know, how do I start to change myself narrative to maintain these behaviors?

[00:35:59] Courtney Townley: [00:36:00] Versus going back to old self narrative. That just got me, you know, back to where I was. So I, we had to work on parenting the brain, and we had to work on expanding emotional capacity. Your willingness and your ability to be with difficult things without eating and drinking and doing all the self berating.

[00:36:17] Carrie Lupoli: Yeah. And, and you actually have two chapters, uh, to this in your, in your book because you actually dig into the emotions and then parenting your brain. And I love that you dig into the amygdala. I talk about the amygdala all the time, the amygdala hijack. But I, I think, um. Like, I often will call it the discipline of declining.

[00:36:36] Carrie Lupoli: Like we actually have to build up that discipline and resiliency in some ways. Yeah. Of practicing saying no to the things that don't actually serve us. Yeah. Because we're not used to that. Like I literally ordered something this morning from Amazon and I got it already just hours later. 

[00:36:53] Courtney Townley: Oh my 

[00:36:53] Carrie Lupoli: gosh. Well, usually what I want, I just get Yeah.

[00:36:56] Carrie Lupoli: And there isn't a lot of practice of discipline [00:37:00] these days. 

[00:37:00] Courtney Townley: No. Have you ever read, um, Michael Easter's comfort Crisis? No, you would love that book. Okay. 

[00:37:06] Carrie Lupoli: I'm writing that down. You, you have like pages 

[00:37:08] Courtney Townley: of notes in my notebook. It's exactly that. This whole book is about how we live in a culture of convenience and how it's costing us everything that really matters because we're just getting all these quick fixes, which are.

[00:37:23] Courtney Townley: Altering our chemistry art artificially, but not actually promoting our wellbeing in the long term. And so we have to, like you said, discipline, grit is a big part of being consistent with anything. But I, I also like to reframe sometimes because I use the word discipline a lot. I don't have an aversion to that word, but a lot of my clients do.

[00:37:44] Courtney Townley: And so I'll often spin it for them and say, look, discipline that is born from self-respect is really just devotion. That's what we're talking about here. We're talking about devotion to things that you care about, so we can totally remove the word discipline and we can just ask, [00:38:00] how devoted are you? 

[00:38:02] Carrie Lupoli: Yeah, because it, it goes along with any other words like health or consistency and discipline has gotten this negative wrap.

[00:38:11] Carrie Lupoli: But in all reality, if you redefine it by looking at it differently and having this level of, of understanding of what the word really means, it truly is about devotion to yourself. 

[00:38:24] Courtney Townley: I love that love. And you know, the whole reason my company is Grace and Grit is because I've worked with women who have used the concept of grace to the point of rationalizing why they don't need to do any work.

[00:38:36] Carrie Lupoli: Yes. 

[00:38:36] Courtney Townley: And I've worked with women and I was one of these women, um, who use grit to the point of self-destruction. It, 

[00:38:44] Carrie Lupoli: it's so interesting that you say that. 'cause when I say no guilt, just data, I will have women be like, no guilt. And I'm like. But yet it's data and we need to view something with the data.

[00:38:54] Carrie Lupoli: Like we can't, like I love that you're no longer feeling guilty. 

[00:38:57] Courtney Townley: Yeah, 

[00:38:58] Carrie Lupoli: man. It's a two part [00:39:00] equation. So I love that so much, especially because my daughter's name is Grace, so that's also, oh, 

[00:39:04] Courtney Townley: it's, I love that. That's great. 

[00:39:06] Carrie Lupoli: It's 

[00:39:06] Carrie Lupoli: okay. So we are now aware. 

[00:39:08] Courtney Townley: Yeah. 

[00:39:08] Carrie Lupoli: And this is not a destination, as you said, because like just in the concept of organization and follow through, what requires awareness?

[00:39:16] Carrie Lupoli: Yeah, 

[00:39:17] Carrie Lupoli: right. Like if you don't have that, it's the foundational piece. You're not gonna be able to be that organized self and proactive to be able to be intentional and then you're never gonna execute 

[00:39:27] Courtney Townley: because you're not aware of the roadblocks that are keeping you back a thousand percent. And so it's that awareness of yeah, like where, what health means to me and where am I?

[00:39:39] Courtney Townley: Misaligned from that. Where am I lost in the woods from that path. Right? 

[00:39:44] Carrie Lupoli: And then, but as you move into the fourth part of the framework, yes, that is where realignment really comes in. 

[00:39:51] Courtney Townley: It is. So again, using our example of going to bed at eight 30, you do it for a few days, all everything's going great.

[00:39:57] Courtney Townley: You're feeling better, you're feeling the benefits of that. And then [00:40:00] all of a sudden maybe you get sick or you have to go to a social event or something where you don't go to bed till 11. And then the next night something else comes up and before you know it, you, you're starting to lose traction with that new behavior.

[00:40:13] Courtney Townley: That's misalignment. Going back to your old ways. Totally. And so h how do we gracefully pivot ourselves back to the thing that we said mattered and take responsibility for how we might be creating a habit out of negotiating and rationalizing. 'cause we do this a lot. Like if you look for evidence for why you can't do something, you're always gonna find it.

[00:40:36] Courtney Townley: And my clients who try to commit to an earlier bedtime, there's lots of reasons why they don't do it right. Their husband wants to stay up and watch something, or they haven't had any me time for the day, or the laundry needs to get done, or you know, whatever it is. There's a thousand reasons. So can you, do you have the skills to coach yourself into the work rather than out of the work?[00:41:00] 

[00:41:00] Courtney Townley: And, and that's really the work that I'm most passionate about teaching is how do I help the client to become the coach in terms of talking herself into the work rather than always getting out of it. 

[00:41:11] Carrie Lupoli: How do you do that? 

[00:41:13] Courtney Townley: Well, it's all those skills, right? It's, it's the emotional agility. It's like expanding our, our capacity to be with hard things.

[00:41:19] Courtney Townley: It's that how we're talking to ourselves about our commitments. It's how we're organizing for ourselves, for our commitments. It's that curiosity rather than judgment. It's all of these things and they, it's 

[00:41:29] Carrie Lupoli: like layering that sometimes don't even realize is actually adding up to. The mountain that you say you wanna climb because you haven't just been focused on the mountain, you've been focused in on all of these little pieces that eventually get you there.

[00:41:45] Carrie Lupoli: That's such good analogy that, 

[00:41:46] Courtney Townley: and it's so spot on, Kerry, because I think we all want just the one skill, the one plan, the one pill that will get us to the mountaintop. We all want that. Come on. Like that would be amazing. It would be. [00:42:00] It's never that. It's a lot of little things. It's a culmination of skills and support and thoughts and behaviors that get us to the mountaintop and 

[00:42:11] Carrie Lupoli: Well, you're just making me think about the fact that that's actually what happened when we end up at the bottom.

[00:42:17] Carrie Lupoli: It's not one thing, and I'll talk to women and they'll be like, well, you know when my. You know, name the, the tragedy happened or when my kid went off to college, or when they think it's like one event that caused the downfall, when in all reality it was a whole lot of little things that we allowed to really kind of either derail us or throw us off.

[00:42:41] Carrie Lupoli: But the same is true for the solution. 

[00:42:44] Courtney Townley: Yeah. It becomes a pattern, a pattern that either depletes you or a pattern that gets you to rise. It's one or the other. 

[00:42:51] Carrie Lupoli: Yes, yes, yes, yes. So as we get into really understanding this consistency code, and I just feel like, um, like I'm gonna need [00:43:00] post-it notes reminding me of these four things.

[00:43:01] Carrie Lupoli: 'cause it's like never, it's a never ending Yes. Journey. Yeah. In terms of what you, uh, what you know to be true with all the women that you've worked with. But as you think about what's ne once we learn it, what's the first step towards actually starting to achieve it? Like achieve the, the. Achieve what specifically?

[00:43:22] Carrie Lupoli: Like the consistency. 

[00:43:24] Courtney Townley: The consistency. The first 

[00:43:26] Carrie Lupoli: step three is literally like around the concept of like, what's next now? Right? Like what do, how do we go from understanding this? Yeah. To really. Truly living it. 

[00:43:42] Courtney Townley: Yeah. It's right way forward is what you call it. Yeah. I love it. Well, it's so, it's one thing to read this book, right?

[00:43:48] Courtney Townley: And we, it's one thing to listen to a podcast or listen to this podcast or talk to a friend or, uh, you know, there's so many ways to consume information now, and, and I introduce this in the book, but this idea of info obesity, [00:44:00] right? We have so much information coming in. Information doesn't change anything.

[00:44:05] Courtney Townley: Practice changes things. And so practice inherently baked into that word is messiness and imperfection. I mean, nobody practices because they're already perfect. I shouldn't say that. I think really skilled artists actually keep practicing to stay really high in the game. But, but it's also because we're always up leveling.

[00:44:25] Courtney Townley: Yeah. 

[00:44:25] Carrie Lupoli: Right. We never have really truly 

[00:44:28] Courtney Townley: arrived. Right. 

[00:44:28] Carrie Lupoli: But you're right. Like if you have, like, what's the point of practicing anymore? 

[00:44:32] Courtney Townley: Exactly. So it's, it's not, people will read this book and be armed with so many tools. But that can also be overwhelming 'cause there's so many places to start and we can use that for rationalization, for why we're never gonna start.

[00:44:44] Courtney Townley: So my, my tip would be to just pick something to try on because everything is an experiment. And if you've, if you haven't done this in a while, the best place to start, because most women I work with have never done this, is to have a little coffee date with yourself. [00:45:00] 15, 20 minutes. And I want you to write what health means to you at this age and stage of your life.

[00:45:07] Carrie Lupoli: Oh, so good. 

[00:45:08] Courtney Townley: Not what it meant to you in your twenties, not what culture at large is telling you it is not what your girlfriend thinks it is, or your coworker thinks it is. What do you think health means to you at this age and stage of your life, and are you using measures that actually honor that definition?

[00:45:25] Carrie Lupoli: Oh my gosh. And then that to me feels like. Almost like you can expand, like it's a blueprint that you can almost then start to figure out what the next step is from there. 

[00:45:34] Courtney Townley: Yeah. It's clar, clarity's the mother of discipline, period. Once you have clarity, everything gets easier. 

[00:45:40] Carrie Lupoli: Mm-hmm. '

[00:45:40] Courtney Townley: cause you can ask for help, you know what you're asking for, or you can practice the skill, or you can, you can take that next step.

[00:45:46] Courtney Townley: But without clarity, we just get lost in the woods for a really long time. 

[00:45:51] Carrie Lupoli: So true, so true. And you give so much clarity here, and you really wrote this as an idea or as a concept to be done in book clubs. I [00:46:00] did. And to do with women. So I would really encourage, like as you're listening to this podcast, uh, to be able to think about how can I use.

[00:46:11] Carrie Lupoli: Not just for myself, but also by expanding like community. And we know how important community is. What a very cool way to enhance your health because we know community actually helps. And so consider this as your next book club book. Do it for 

[00:46:26] Courtney Townley: my editor asked me really early on in the process, what, why are you writing the book?

[00:46:29] Courtney Townley: And I have lots of reasons I wrote the book, but one of the reasons was I know that the conversation of women's health is never really gonna change on any meaningful level. If we are not having the kinds of conversations in this book in cafes and gyms and at our hair salons and all the places, this is how we need to be talking about women's health because this addresses the whole human, not just a piece of the human and health is wholeness, period.

[00:46:55] Courtney Townley: Health is wholeness. 

[00:46:57] Carrie Lupoli: We are on the same page. And so after you do [00:47:00] your book study with this one, then you're gonna go grab my book once that comes out from corset to ground, and then that's gonna be the next step. Exactly. Sister to it. I love, I would say, I would say so. Where Courtney, can everybody get your book?

[00:47:13] Carrie Lupoli: Where can we get in touch with you? All of the things. 

[00:47:16] Courtney Townley: So the book can be found on all major online platforms. I mean, if you really wanna just get a direct spot, you can go to the consistency code.com and we have all the links out to all the books sellers. Um. So that would be the great place. And I would say also about that website, there's a lot of extra resources on the website.

[00:47:30] Courtney Townley: We've created graphics for you so you can remember the code. And we have all kinds of worksheets and fun things for that just to that go alongside the book. Um, and then my main website is Grace and Grit, where my podcast is and all the other things that I offer. So those would be the two places. 

[00:47:44] Carrie Lupoli: Awesome.

[00:47:45] Carrie Lupoli: So let's get, I'd love to hear from you. If you are getting a book study together, a book group together, a women's kind of coffee together to talk about this, make sure you go to the consistency code.com or grace and grit.com because Courtney is just [00:48:00] a wealth of knowledge and I just feel like you're like a sister from another Mister 

[00:48:04] Courtney Townley: like, and I love this, Carrie, because I think this is like just this relationship.

[00:48:08] Courtney Townley: Like I know you have a book coming out next year and I'm so happy to support you in that and, and help rise you up in that. Ever. And I feel like that's really how health happens with anything is it's in community, right? I always say healing is a team sport. Birthing books is a team sport. Um, and yeah, we need each other.

[00:48:26] Courtney Townley: Like we need to be in community with each other to be able to, to do these things because they're really hard to do by ourselves. 

[00:48:33] Carrie Lupoli: So much and, and I think that with each of us sharing the message that is synergistic, we know that in some way a woman is going to get it at another level. And so there needs to be so many of us talking about this to dispel and quiet the noise that the diet and weight loss industry has just.

[00:48:52] Carrie Lupoli: Kind of monsoon on us for generations 

[00:48:55] Courtney Townley: so well, and in my opinion, there's not enough of us talking about it until those conversations aren't being had anymore. [00:49:00] 

[00:49:00] Carrie Lupoli: Right? 

[00:49:00] Courtney Townley: Like so we've got 

[00:49:01] Carrie Lupoli: a long, it's a wrong way to 

[00:49:01] Courtney Townley: go. 

[00:49:02] Carrie Lupoli: We need to be the loudest voice in the room. And so you and I are gonna work on that together, and we're gonna bring in all these other women that also believe in the same thing.

[00:49:10] Carrie Lupoli: Thank you so, so much for being here. I can't wait until every single woman in the world gets her hands on this and starts to become truly self-honoring. You're amazing. Thank you. 

[00:49:21] Carrie Lupoli: I appreciate it.