Part 2: The One Thing You Need to Do Before You Say Yes to Anything - 286
Are you constantly trying to prove your worth? Maybe it shows up as perfectionism, over-functioning, people-pleasing, or feeling like you have to sacrifice yourself to be a good mother, partner, or successful woman.
The truth is, many of us have been wearing an invisible “corset” for years, one that tells us we need to achieve, perform, shrink, or change ourselves to deserve confidence and worth.
In this episode, I dive deeper into what it means to move from the corset to the crown and why awareness alone isn’t enough to create lasting change.
I introduce the “center,” the space between the corset and the crown, and teach my SNAP strategy. This simple framework helps you recognize when you’re making choices based on old conditioning and makes it easier to choose responses that align with the woman you’re becoming.
Conclusion:
The crown was never something you had to earn. It was always there. The goal isn’t to become someone new. It’s to reconnect with who you already are beneath the pressure, expectations, and stories that have shaped you.
In This Episode:
00:00 Introduction: From corset to crown
03:12 Why nutrition was never the whole story
09:45 Why awareness alone doesn’t create freedom
10:52 Finding the center between the corset and the crown
18:35 How your brain reinforces the stories you believe
20:09 The "center" practice: using the S.N.A.P. strategy
27:39 The hidden power in the word “just”
29:34 A simple exercise to reconnect with yourself
31:33 Finding the freedom you’ve been searching for
Join the BS Club:
https://www.disruptivenutrition.com/bsclub
Pre-Order Carrie’s Book, From Corset to Crown!
Get your copy of "From Corset to Crown" and a ton of awesome bonuses to make the learning really stick at: https://www.carrielupoli.com/corsettocrown
Carrie’s From Corset to Crown Live Event in Nashville on October 2-4, 2026:
The ultimate girls' trip is on! Get your tickets here (special group rate for 2 or more!) https://www.disruptivenutrition.com/liveevent2026
Listen to This Episode on Your Favorite Podcast Channel:
Follow and listen on Apple
Follow and listen on Spotify
Subscribe and watch on YouTube
Connect with Carrie Lupoli:
Other Related Episodes:
Looking for more tips to optimize your health? Listen to these episodes:
- Part 1: The One Thing That Explains Why You're Always Exhausted
- From Corset to Crown: Why I’ve Changed Everything After Six Years
Transcript:
[00:00:00] Carrie Lupoli: Knowing about the corset is not the same as actually being free from it. It doesn't just come from awareness alone. It comes from what you do in the moment that corset starts to lighten up. The center, the to, in from corset to crown, is not a place you have to go. It's just a moment you can create at any time and any place.
[00:00:22] Carrie Lupoli: Today, we are going to take a pause between the corset and the crown, and that is going to be a skill that if you can learn, if you can really dig into, you're going to do every day, and it will change your life. It will change the way you show up for yourself.
[00:00:48] Carrie Lupoli: Well, hey there, crown straighteners. So whatever is tightening your corset today, welcome. You're in the right place I am Carrie Lupoli and excited about this episode of From Corset to [00:01:00] Crown, where we help you to recognize the pressures that feel like normal. The corset has been on us for so long that it almost feels like it's just a part of who we are, whether it's diet culture or our need to over-function, over-perform because we feel like we have to do these things or look a certain way in order to have value and have purpose.
[00:01:24] Carrie Lupoli: This is what this podcast is all about. Now, as a nutritionist and a behavior specialist, I have been uniquely positioned over the last 30 years to be able to see why we do what we do, how our thinking, how our feelings, they dictate our actions. If you've ever said, "I know what to do, I just don't do it," I'll argue all day long we don't really know what to do.
[00:01:45] Carrie Lupoli: That's where my work as a nutritionist who focuses on the BS of blood sugar stabilization, not the BS of the diet industry, comes into play. Now, I have worked with tens of thousands of women to become the healthiest versions of themselves without [00:02:00] dieting, without counting calories, without tracking any of their food, without giving up carbs, all of that stuff.
[00:02:04] Carrie Lupoli: But the thing that I've realized more than anything else is that nutrition was a doorway. What we were really looking for once we, like, kind of went through and got through all of the noise of diet culture, the belief that smaller means better. I mean, face it, when someone says, "Oh, you look great," it's code for you look smaller, right?
[00:02:25] Carrie Lupoli: When we actually peel back all of that, what we're all looking for, we all, we all wanna be able to breathe. That's what we want. We want freedom, peace, confidence because we know who we are, and we believe that the number on the scale is gonna get us that. Now, I believe that weight gain is a symptom of our health and our hormones.
[00:02:45] Carrie Lupoli: How we relate to food and our body all has to be out in the open. We have to figure all of this out because I believe that you were here for a purpose, and in order to serve that purpose, you have to be the healthiest version of yourself for as long as possible. So to me, this isn't about looking [00:03:00] a certain way, it's about being a certain way for as long as possible, and understanding truly what we want but why we want it is the missing piece that so many of us don't have.
[00:03:11] Carrie Lupoli: Now, we actually recently renamed this podcast. This podcast has been on for over six years, and it was called The Diet Disruptors Podcast, and I love that name. I still love that name because I was truly disrupting the diet industry. In fact, the name of my book is called From Corset to Crown: Disrupting Everything You've Been Told about Weight Loss, Confidence, and Self-Worth.
[00:03:34] Carrie Lupoli: And so I love that concept, but as I continued to work with women and really saw that while I can teach them how to eat in a way that is simple, sustainable, and satisfying, in a way that no nutritionist, dietician, doctor, diet was ever telling women It wasn't what they were really looking for. They thought it was.
[00:03:54] Carrie Lupoli: I actually had a business coach that once told me, "Tell them what they wanna hear and then give them what they need," [00:04:00] which I think is interesting. But every single one of my clients will say the food is actually the easy part. Like, understanding the food, understanding how to serve my body, which we all thought was a complete and total, you know, the Wizard of Oz, like the guy behind the curtain.
[00:04:12] Carrie Lupoli: Like, we just thought it was impossible for us to figure out. It's not. But what all of this work unveiled for me and why we shifted the name from Diet Disruptors to From Corset to Crown, is that nutrition opened up a doorway of knowledge and understanding on my part about what we as women are really going through.
[00:04:34] Carrie Lupoli: And the concept of the corset in my book especially, is really around diet culture and this pressure that we all feel to look a certain way. But it goes on so much further than that because we have all been really put under pressure from the corset. We make decisions from the corset. We put our value and our worth in the corset, and it's been handed to us.
[00:04:59] Carrie Lupoli: It was handed to us [00:05:00] when we were, like, seven years old, eight years old. I bet you every single one of my listeners could tell you when the corset was put on them. I've had men, I've had women be able to tell me very clearly they remember the exact moment where they realized they were not enough as they were, that they had to prove their worth.
[00:05:18] Carrie Lupoli: And it started off for me being told that my hair was unruly. My hair had to be controlled. My hair was not good enough. It had to be straightened, and it hurt. And I remember my mom saying to me, "Beauty hurts, hon." And it was just something you have to live with. And as we continue to get older and evolve, that pressure of the corset goes in not just from what we look like, how we act, our grades, our level of success, how well we can produce performance over functioning to motherhood, when literally the CVS receipt to-do list is, like, just a common type of thing.
[00:05:55] Carrie Lupoli: Everyone laughs when I say that because they all get it, but it is about sacrificing yourself. [00:06:00] Sacrificing yourself 'cause you're not a good mom unless you do that. And each one of those evolutions of the corset just makes it harder and harder for us to breathe, all the while still not believing that we are pretty enough, that we are small enough, and this pressure of looking a certain way while also performing in a certain way just gets to, to a point where so many of us are just like, "I can't breathe anymore."
[00:06:25] Carrie Lupoli: And it's what I heard from women time and time again, and I always said, "I am not here to fix women. I am here to free them." And so it made sense for us to change the name of the podcast after my book came out to say this all is around the same thing, whether you're looking to lose weight or whether you're looking to make more money or whether you're looking for your kids to grow up so you can feel like you can just have more time.
[00:06:48] Carrie Lupoli: It's all coming from the same pressure. How we show up for ourselves is either coming from the corset Or the crown. And on the podcast today, I am building off of [00:07:00] last, the last podcast where I really talked about the corset. So we're not gonna get into that as much today because the framework of going from the corset to the crown is one that I wanna dig into on today's episode.
[00:07:13] Carrie Lupoli: What it means to be able to center yourself, to realize the corset is causing you to make certain decisions that are not necessarily aligned with truly what you want, who you are, or what you believe, but you're doing it based on this belief of the pressure forcing you to, to eventually being able to get to the crown.
[00:07:35] Carrie Lupoli: We're gonna talk about what it means to straighten your crown, what it means to make decisions from the crown on the next episode, but today we are going to take a pause between the corset and the crown, and that is going to be a skill that if you can learn, if you can really dig into, you're going to do every day and it will change your life.
[00:07:58] Carrie Lupoli: It will change the way [00:08:00] you show up for yourself. So in the last episode, I talked about four ways that the corset just keeps tightening. We look for approval, we over-perform, we try to be perfect at everything, and then we sacrifice ourselves for everybody else. We're looking on the outside for self-worth.
[00:08:20] Carrie Lupoli: We're chasing achievement or productivity, measuring our worth by either results or staying busy. Some of us are really seeking perfection, setting impossible standards for ourselves, overthinking about things, over-preparing, terrified of getting something wrong. Some of us sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice.
[00:08:39] Carrie Lupoli: We put everyone else first. We abandon our own needs. We call it love when it's actually self-abandonment, which serves nobody. All of those are conditions of the corset. It's, it's a survival strategy. It's not your identity. It's been developed because somewhere along the way, you got the message that who you are is not enough.
[00:08:57] Carrie Lupoli: And so as we move into today, [00:09:00] this is really about, okay, knowing about the corset and then actually being able to be free from it, because first we need to even recognize that it's there, and that's what I really tried to dig into in the last episode, and this is what we're gonna continue to do with every single episode, 'cause this is a daily practice of recognizing the corset.
[00:09:18] Carrie Lupoli: Just because we take the corset off once doesn't mean it doesn't come back over and over and over again. It's a little bit like sweeping sand from the ocean. It's just gonna keep coming back. But when we have a framework, when we have a mindset, when we have a way to think about this, we can absolutely make decisions from the crown.
[00:09:35] Carrie Lupoli: Because I want you to understand that really truly knowing about the corset is not the same as actually being free from it, and we're gonna learn how to be free from it, because there's two steps to freedom as, as I've seen it with all of the women that I've worked with. It doesn't just come from awareness alone.
[00:09:53] Carrie Lupoli: It comes from what you do in the moment that corset starts to lighten up. The minute you [00:10:00] see it, you start to actually already be able to breathe a little bit more, and then you become aware, and then we do. So these are the different pieces of this puzzle that we're gonna dig into today. Okay, so when we go from corset to crown, and again, we're gonna talk more about what the crown really means, because let's be honest, you were born worthy.
[00:10:21] Carrie Lupoli: You were born a baby that did not need to prove her worth. Every single baby that's born, you hold that baby and you think, "This life is so precious." You are still that baby. You still have that worth. You don't have to do anything to prove it That's the crown. We're gonna dig into how you straighten it because it's there.
[00:10:41] Carrie Lupoli: It was never ever removed. It's just hidden. And if you have hair like mine, it got hidden in all, in all the turmoil of the curly hair. So let's go with the word to. From corset to crown. To is the word that we're really gonna [00:11:00] dig into because it is the moment that you interrupt the pattern and return to truth.
[00:11:06] Carrie Lupoli: Not the truth that the corset has been telling you. It might feel like truth because it's been a part of you for so long, but your truth, who you actually are underneath all of that conditioning. It's sort of like a GPS, right? When you make a wrong turn, the, the GPS doesn't yell at you. It's like, "Hey, dummy, turn around."
[00:11:23] Carrie Lupoli: No. It just, it's, like, so calming. It's like, "Recalculating." It just, it, it doesn't, like, make you, like, reconsider your entire life. It doesn't shame you, guilt you. It just like, "Recalculating," and it finds you a new route from exactly where you are. That's what I mean by the to. It's a centering activity, right?
[00:11:47] Carrie Lupoli: It's not like you have to go retreat. It's not like you have to go do more. You just get to recalibrate. So hey, real quick, before we jump back in, I have to tell you about something that I've just launched because I think [00:12:00] it's gonna be a game changer for you. You know I talk about the BS of the diet industry all the time, but the BS that matters, that we really need, are our belief systems, behavioral science, and blood sugar.
[00:12:10] Carrie Lupoli: Those are the three things that are actually the foundation of lasting health, weight loss, and feeling like yourself again. I wrote all about it in my book From Corset to Crown. Well, I finally created a place where you can learn all of it for literally a dollar a day. It's called the BS Club, and every 28 days you are guided through a new season, a new experience, 1% learning that teaches you the shifts that build real consistency without the pressure, without the perfection, or the punishment.
[00:12:37] Carrie Lupoli: No more dieting. No more failing because that's what the diets are designed to do, to make you feel like it was your fault. We are just gonna deal with the actual BS that builds your best self. See what I did there? BS, best self. Mm-hmm. So if you've been listening to this podcast and thinking, "I get what she's saying, but I don't know where to start," this is where you start.
[00:12:58] Carrie Lupoli: So go to [00:13:00] disruptivenutrition.com/bsclub and go grab your spot now. A dollar a day. You're worth it. All right. Back to the episode. The center, like right in between the corset and the crown, it is the center space. It's not a destination necessarily that you arrive at, it's a practice that you return to every single day.
[00:13:22] Carrie Lupoli: Sometimes you're gonna be doing it multiple times a day, right? So when you think about the corset and we go... This episode today is really this bridge that's gonna bring you to the crown, which we're gonna talk about in the next episode, right? The center, right in the middle, the two, is kind of where survival mode will end and self-leadership begins.
[00:13:47] Carrie Lupoli: Okay. So I always say you cannot change what you cannot see. So knowing about the corset is super important. Awareness in the moment, though, is a skill set that takes some [00:14:00] practice, because knowing that you have that corset on is one piece of it But then an intellectual awareness is very different than awareness in the moment.
[00:14:09] Carrie Lupoli: You can know that the corset exists and still react from it instead of respond. Reaction is impulsive, and it's unconscious, and very often we will make decisions from the corset without even realizing it, because it happens faster than your conscious brain can process. So awareness in the moment is a little bit harder than an intellectual awareness.
[00:14:33] Carrie Lupoli: I have people that say, say to me all the time, "I am super self-aware." And the minute somebody says that, I'm like, "Okay, we need to build up some self-awareness," because intellectual awareness is very different than in the moment recognizing what's happening, and again, this takes practice. So I want you to think about there's a physical reaction when we're doing something that is coming from the corset.
[00:14:56] Carrie Lupoli: There just is, and there's a way for us to start [00:15:00] to recognize that that's happening. There might be a tightening in your chest. There's like a knot in your stomach. There's a feeling that you can't quite breathe. Now, I will also say that that feeling can also replicate fear, and we often as women have this gut feeling that is fear, and then we don't move because we are afraid of the unknown.
[00:15:20] Carrie Lupoli: And so we cannot confuse fear with making decisions from the corset. So let me give you an example, okay? So at the beginning of the summer, or every single year, uh, where I live, we have Fourth of July. We have dozens and dozens and dozens of people that sleep over. I mean, people are on the floor. They're outside.
[00:15:38] Carrie Lupoli: Like, it's, it's craziness. And that whole weekend turns into, like, one big, crazy, awesome party. We live on the beach. We're out on the beach the whole time. It's super fun. And so there's two ways that I see people interact, but from four different places. So some people that are in my life are making decisions not to engage in the drinking and kind of the extra [00:16:00] desserts and all the stuff.
[00:16:01] Carrie Lupoli: They're like, "Nope, I'm not gonna do it." Or there are people that are like, "Yeah, I am all in." I am just like, uh, you know, the diet starts Monday kinda mentality, right? And they're just like appreciation all day long for all this food. I'm just gonna eat it. Well, one person can decide to decline all of those extra goodies, and they can make that decision from the corset, right?
[00:16:22] Carrie Lupoli: I can't cheat on my diet. I have to be good. I have to be perfect. That is a decision coming from the corset. It's like, kind of like constantly feeling a little bit defensive in some ways. Or there's a person that says, "I am choosing to serve my body this weekend. I am choosing to practice the discipline of declining.
[00:16:42] Carrie Lupoli: I know that every year I might go and splurge on the food and the drink, but this year I really wanna make a commitment to myself to see how I can do with declining, because I love myself, I want to challenge myself, and I [00:17:00] know I can enjoy myself without having to drink alcohol," for example. That decision is coming from the crown.
[00:17:06] Carrie Lupoli: There's no defensiveness there. Very, very different. And then you have somebody that says, "I am going all out. The diet ends. I'll start again on Monday. I am hog wild." That is an all or nothing kind of a mentality. They're doing it very often because they're making decisions often because they feel like they've been so confined for so long, if they're on a diet world, and then they are hog wild.
[00:17:31] Carrie Lupoli: That is a decision that comes from the corset. But when somebody says, "I am going to not actually think as much about the food, I'm going to just follow my intuition and my gut. I'm not gonna have guilt about it. I'm gonna appreciate every single thing I put in my mouth. I'm going to allow myself a little more," I don't wanna say freedom, because I don't believe it's freedom if you decide to decline, "but just a few extra special kind of treats that I wouldn't normally have, because I just [00:18:00] really want to enjoy different foods.
[00:18:03] Carrie Lupoli: I wanna enjoy my favorite wines, and I have no guilt about it, and I don't have to make up for it. I am just going to love what comes my way." That is making the same decision, but from the crown. So there is a, a bit of a defensiveness around the corset that is somewhat unconscious, but very often the corset has been, you know, stitched into us so tightly that we don't even realize that it's there.
[00:18:27] Carrie Lupoli: It just feels very normal. But your body does often give you signals when you're going from the corset I always think about when my daughter turned 16, she wanted a Subaru Crosstrek, and I had no idea what a Subaru Crosstrek was. So I said, I, I'm like, "I don't know what that is." And so my husband's like, "You've definitely seen a Subaru Crosstrek."
[00:18:47] Carrie Lupoli: And I'm like, "I've never seen one." He then shows me a picture of a Crosstrek, and I'm like, "Super cute car, have definitely never seen one." And then I leave that day, and I go do errands and do a bunch of things, and what do I see all over the [00:19:00] street? Everywhere, everywhere, everywhere, Subaru Crosstreks.
[00:19:02] Carrie Lupoli: Everybody bought a Subaru Crosstrek that day. You think that's true? It's not, but it's proof that the moment you have something in your awareness, your brain filters it out. So what you tell yourself matters. I told my brain, "Subaru Crosstrek," my brain was like, "Okay, we have to filter out millions of pieces of information.
[00:19:22] Carrie Lupoli: We're gonna do what you tell us to do. You're saying Subaru Crosstrek, we're gonna show you Subaru Crosstreks today." The moment you center yourself when you're working from corset to crown, and the to, that centering yourself and telling your brain what to look for That's when it starts to find it everywhere.
[00:19:42] Carrie Lupoli: So if you tell yourself you're not enough, your brain finds evidence of that everywhere. You tell yourself who you actually are from the crown, your brain will start to find that instead. Awareness is simply learning to feel the tightening and name it. That's the corset, it's not the truth, [00:20:00] and the concept of the Subaru Crosstrek is one that we can all relate to.
[00:20:04] Carrie Lupoli: It's like proof that what you tell your brain matters. So this is what you're going to do. When you feel that corset tightening, this is one of the strategies that I teach my clients and it's so powerful. I call it the center practice, right? So we're centering ourselves before we're even doing anything with the crown.
[00:20:23] Carrie Lupoli: I call it SNAP, okay? So I'm giving you this tool. It's something that you can use in any moment, at work, with your kids, in an argument, looking in the mirror, the second before you say yes to everything inside you that might be saying no, right? Or the second you say no to something that you'd really like to say yes to, like maybe that chocolate cake, for example.
[00:20:48] Carrie Lupoli: I want intentionality and response versus impulsivity and reaction. The impulsivity and the reaction often comes from the corset, okay? So we're gonna go through [00:21:00] the SNAP strategy. It's such a great tool, and it's four letters. That's it. It's the most practical way I know to actually find your center when the corset is tightening in real time, okay?
[00:21:11] Carrie Lupoli: It, like, literally takes, like, seconds. You're just gonna stop. That's the S. Stop. That's all. This pauses everything. It's a space between the corset tightening and the decision that you make from it. Most of us really kinda skip this first step, and I always have to remind people, no, we have to stop. We feel the pressure, we immediately respond or actually react, right?
[00:21:32] Carrie Lupoli: We say yes, we shrink, we over-explain, we over-commit, we eat the... We binge eat. It's all from the corset. But 10 seconds of stopping can make the difference between a decision from the corset and a decision from the crown. So the S is to stop, and then N is notice. I want you to notice what's happening in your body, because this is how you're gonna start to recognize when the corset is making decisions.
[00:21:58] Carrie Lupoli: You might not know this right away. You're gonna, [00:22:00] like I said, confuse sometimes the feeling of the corset with the feeling of fear, and sometimes fear stops us from doing something we really need to do to push ourselves. Sometimes it's really scary to put ourselves first in front of our family, and that fear can often feel like what a corset decision would be.
[00:22:21] Carrie Lupoli: But that's why this next step of the SNAP is so important. We notice. When we are stopping and recognizing that, okay- I am making a decision from the corset right now. What is then happening in your body? And notice it. Not quite your thoughts yet, but really, like, are your shoulders tense? Is your stomach in knots?
[00:22:40] Carrie Lupoli: Does your chest feel tight? Is your jaw clenched? Remember, there's a difference between fear and corset, although sometimes we act in fear because of the corset, so you know, that's a whole nother thing. But I want you to name it without judgment. You're not doing anything wrong, you're just noticing. Your body's always telling the truth before your mind has a [00:23:00] chance to justify, to rationalize, or to people please into a yes.
[00:23:04] Carrie Lupoli: So your body knows the corset before your brain does. Just start to listen to it. And then A is ask. You're going to ask for discernment, and the question in the purest form is this: Is this coming from the corset? Is this the belief that I have to do this to prove my worth? It is such a powerful question to ask yourself.
[00:23:27] Carrie Lupoli: That one question is gonna tell you almost everything you need to know. But you can then go deeper with those, with, with that question, with four more questions if you want to, okay? So let's dive into those. The first question you can ask yourself, you're like, "Okay, is this coming from the corset?" And I'm trying to recognize how my body responds to this.
[00:23:45] Carrie Lupoli: I'm just getting centered right now so that now I can ask myself, what story am I believing right now? Is the story that smaller is better? Is the story that I have to do this in order to prove that I'm a good mom? What is the story? Then [00:24:00] this is where you start to discern fear and the corset or purpose, 'cause acting with the crown can still be scary.
[00:24:08] Carrie Lupoli: So is it fear from the corset, or is it knowing that you're aligned with your purpose, even if that still feels scary? So is it fear from the corset or actually purpose? And then the question of, what is this costing me, this thought, this belief, what I'm about to do? What is it gonna cost me? Because very often we say yes or we make decisions without really thinking about the cost, and I'm not meaning financial, I'm meaning to ourselves.
[00:24:36] Carrie Lupoli: And then who do you want to be? Is what you're about to say yes to, what you're about to do, is it moving you closer to the woman that you wanna become? So if you're really operating in fear, it's gonna sound something like, "I have to say yes, or they're gonna think I'm selfish. I have to keep going, or I'm gonna fall behind."
[00:24:52] Carrie Lupoli: But purpose, right? Like acting from the crown sounds like who you want to become. It aligns [00:25:00] with who you say you want to be. It's a yes you actually mean. Most of us have been making decisions from fear for so long it feels like purpose, and the corset is so sneaky like that. And then the concept of does this move me closer to the woman that I say I wanna become, it's like such a game changer because so many women say they want peace, say they want health, say they want confidence, say they want less stress, but their daily yeses are building a completely different life.
[00:25:28] Carrie Lupoli: So are the things that you're doing and saying yes to, are they actually aligning with what you say you want, what the healthiest version of you says, thinks, does, and believes? Your future is actually hidden in the things that you continue to say yes to. And then the last part of SNAPSO is stop, notice, ask, and, uh, and the easiest question to ask is, like, does this come from the corset?
[00:25:51] Carrie Lupoli: Is this true? 'Cause the corset will tell us things that feel true but are not. I call it truthiness. And then P is pivot. So this is just a [00:26:00] conscious choice to act from the crown instead of the corset. We haven't even talked about what that really means yet, because this is where it almost always starts with pivoting your thought, 'cause it's the thought that got you into the corset mindset, and the pivot is...
[00:26:13] Carrie Lupoli: doesn't have to be massive. It's not like this whole life overhaul. It's literally just one move in the opposite direction. Like, just pause before you're about to say yes. Think about it for a second. Or walk away when you're about to stay and overexplain yourself. Or reframe the thought from I have to, to I choose to.
[00:26:32] Carrie Lupoli: Take a breath instead of actually just, like, responding to a text. You're just gonna choose the thing that serves the woman you're becoming instead of the one that proves your worth to someone else. The pivot doesn't actually mean the action changes every time. Sometimes you're still gonna show up for the same exact people.
[00:26:48] Carrie Lupoli: Sometimes you're still gonna say yes. I always say this, like we could have a room full of people that are all at the gym, but why they are there could very well be from the corset or from the crown. [00:27:00] So the action can look the same, but why you are doing it matters. When you're doing it from the crown, not the corset, everything changes.
[00:27:06] Carrie Lupoli: You choose this because it aligns with who you are, not that you have to do it or something bad will happen. Make sense? It's such a simple action. It's completely, it's a co- completely different internal experience, and over time it ends up actually giving you a completely different life. So notice that that pivot, the S-N-A-P, the pivot points towards the crown, which is exactly where we are headed in the next episode.
[00:27:32] Carrie Lupoli: So that is what we are going to do in the third part of this little series that I have. But there's one other thing that I want you just to recognize here, because the thing that I have noticed with women, I've said nutrition is the doorway. There's a pattern I've noticed after working with tens of thousands of women, right?
[00:27:50] Carrie Lupoli: I just want. Those three words. If you find yourself saying, "I just wanna lose weight so I can be [00:28:00] confident. I just wanna get through this season, and then I'll have more time. I just want everyone to be okay, and then I can focus on myself. I just need to make more money so that I can blank." It's that word just that's going to be the key word, the code that tells you the corset is talking It's minimizing, it's apologizing for even having the desire at all.
[00:28:23] Carrie Lupoli: It's almost always chasing confidence, peace, or self-worth, or some future destination, as if those things live somewhere that you haven't arrived to yet. But I would say confidence does not come because you've reached a goal. Confidence comes from knowing what you're doing is right for you right now.
[00:28:43] Carrie Lupoli: There's a different air and a swagger when you are acting from the crown versus from the corset. There's a difference between wanting from lack, just chasing something outside of yourself to fill a void, and then a desire from love. A [00:29:00] desire is so much different than a just want. Knowing who you are and making decisions from a place of desire is totally different.
[00:29:08] Carrie Lupoli: Wanting from lack is like, "I need to lose weight so people will take me seriously." But a desire from love, "I wanna be healthy because I wanna be fully present for my life at 80." Same behavior, potentially, completely different corset status. The why changes literally everything. So when I speak about this, and what I've written about in my book, it's all about recognizing that this is happening.
[00:29:34] Carrie Lupoli: But what I love is, like, when I'm in front of people, we can do a physical gesture, and so I'm gonna do it right now with you as you listen. So if you're watching on YouTube, make sure you subscribe, make sure you like, and I love it when you're on YouTube, because then you can see what I'm doing, okay? So first, you're going to put your arms around your stomach.
[00:29:53] Carrie Lupoli: That's where you're recognizing the corset, right? You're, you're just giving yourself, like, a little hug, [00:30:00] and just like, "I see that corset there, and I love myself too much to keep it on." So from there, you put your hands on your heart, just like hold them there, and that is your centering moment, where you stop just for a moment and then ask, "Is this coming from the corset?
[00:30:17] Carrie Lupoli: Which story am I telling myself right now? Is it true?" And then I can pivot that thought. So I can just stop, notice, ask, and pivot. That's the whole thing. You don't need an hour, you don't need a journal. You don't need to have it all figured out. You just need that pause. That pause is where the pattern gets interrupted.
[00:30:35] Carrie Lupoli: The pause is where you get to choose. The center, the to, in from corset to crown, is not a place you have to go. It's just a moment you can create at any time and any place. They always say, right, you can't pour from an empty cup. We know that you have to put your oxygen mask on first. I say all those things all the time.
[00:30:56] Carrie Lupoli: But you cannot even come close [00:31:00] to straightening anyone else's crown. You can't make other people feel worthy if You keep having to find yours. Choosing yourself is not selfish. I, I'll say all the time, I think it's actually selfish not to. It's the prerequisite for everything else that you wanna give. So here's where we are.
[00:31:20] Carrie Lupoli: You've named the corset, right? You have the SNAP strategy to be able to stop, notice, ask, pivot. You have questions that can change the way you make every single decision. But I wanna leave you something that's gonna crack your world wide open in the next episode. Okay. There is a story that I'm going to tell.
[00:31:36] Carrie Lupoli: It's about a farmer who had everything. He had land, family, good life, all that. And then somebody had told him that there were diamonds in, like, a land kind of, like, near him, but he had to leave his world to go find them. They were super rare, extraordinary, life-changing diamonds, so he left. He left everything, and he spent the rest of his life...
[00:31:54] Carrie Lupoli: He literally left his whole family, everything he had, searching for these diamonds. And guess what? As the parable [00:32:00] goes, he never found them. He died searching. And then there's a man that ended up buying his farm, right? The same exact land that this man had abandoned. And don't you know, he ended up finding one of the largest diamond deposits ever discovered right there on that land.
[00:32:18] Carrie Lupoli: The diamonds were there the whole time. He just couldn't see them. He just kept looking because he didn't believe such treasure could be within where he already was. The thing that you've been searching for, the peace, the confidence, the freedom, the sense that you are finally enough, it's not out there somewhere.
[00:32:37] Carrie Lupoli: The diamonds are already on your land, and that's what we're gonna talk about in episode three. I cannot wait to take you there so you can see for yourself the diamonds and actually start to make decisions from there. So I hope that this is giving you a sense of what it is that we are looking for, what it is that we need, and [00:33:00] how we can go from corset to crown.
[00:33:03] Carrie Lupoli: In the next episode, we are going to absolutely dig into the concept of, how do you actually straighten your crown? But before I leave, I want you to remember that pressure is not proof of purpose. So even before we dig into exactly what it means to straighten your own crown, go straighten your crown today in some way, shape, or form.
[00:33:26] Carrie Lupoli: And if you got a minute, go straighten someone else's, too. We'll see you next time.