The Cost Of Abandoning Yourself During Difficult Seasons - 288
What happens when life changes direction and suddenly the things that once felt easy become impossible?
A lot of women believe that when life gets stressful, overwhelming, or unpredictable, taking care of themselves has to go on pause. They wait for the storm to pass before they start showing up again.
But life will always bring changing winds. The question isn’t whether you keep sailing–it’s whether you know how to adjust your sails when conditions change.
In this episode, I’m sharing the exact framework I use with my private clients to help them continue caring for themselves through every season of life, from stormy waters to favorable winds, without abandoning who they are in the process.
Conclusion:
There will be seasons in your life where there’s more space to grow and seasons for rebuilding, but there will be seasons where everything feels overwhelming. Just like when the wind shifts on a sailboat, you don’t panic or stop moving. You adjust your sails and continue forward.
In This Episode:
00:00 Introduction
03:32 Why life’s challenges are not a sign that something went wrong
06:30 Moving from the corset to the crown when life gets hard
11:22 Understand the three fundamentals of self-care
18:28 Navigating stormy waters: Preserve your energy
23:22 Navigating headwinds: Simplify and protect what matters most
26:21 Navigating steady waters: Build strength, habits, and resilience
28:50 Navigating favorable winds: Expand and create more impact
32:43 Becoming the woman who can adjust her sails
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Transcript:
[00:00:00] Carrie Lupoli: About a year ago, I took sailing lessons with my husband. There were five lessons. There were different boats each week, and l- by lesson five, I literally still couldn't tell you which side of my face the wind was blowing from, but my instructor totally could, and every time the wind shifted, he just would calmly adjust the sails and then keep going.
[00:00:15] Carrie Lupoli: There was no panic. There was no drama. The wind changed, so we adjusted. I couldn't stop thinking about that afterwards because it's exactly what I watched happen to women over and over again. Life shows up, maybe there's a parent who suddenly needs our help, things get really, really stressful for some reason, and then they treat it like it's proof that something's gone wrong in their lives.
[00:00:33] Carrie Lupoli: Like, the wind changing is the problem instead of just the wind. Here's what I want you to walk away with with this episode. There's no such thing as staying still. You still have to sail. So the real question is not whether or not you keep sailing, it's whether or not you know how to adjust when the conditions change.
[00:00:51] Carrie Lupoli: So in this episode, I'm gonna give you the exact protocol I use with my private clients, and I've used it for years. There's four conditions every sailor and, and every woman moves [00:01:00] through, and it's like what showing up for yourself actually looks like in each one, from the stormy waters to the favorable wind, including the real story of one of my clients who did squats in a hospital bathroom when her daughter had to relearn how to walk, and what she's doing now that things have calmed down.
[00:01:19] Carrie Lupoli: You don't get to wait for smooth water before you start taking care of yourself, so let's talk about how to sail anyway.
[00:01:33] Carrie Lupoli: So my husband and I took sailing lessons recently. We took five lessons together, and I had never been sailing before. And so we did all sorts of different types of boats every single week. But the, the very first time I got on this boat, now I had never sailed before. I'd never been on a sailboat before.
[00:01:50] Carrie Lupoli: And I got on the boat and it... You know, like when you look at a sailboat from afar and you just think it's so beautiful? I, I... There's nothing better than looking at [00:02:00] sailboats from afar. Well, when you are on a sailboat, it is so different because the winds are coming at you, and you have to adjust the sails.
[00:02:09] Carrie Lupoli: And I get it. It's like people... It's like a metaphor. People say that, like, "You have to adjust the sails in life," right? I literally lived it, and I had never been able to see before just how significant it was to get the wind blown at you, feel like you're going in a certain direction, and then all of a sudden have to adjust everything.
[00:02:31] Carrie Lupoli: So the first time it happened, we're, we're going in the sailboat and everything's good. And like, "This is awesome. This is awesome." The wind then changes, and we have to, like, maneuver and, and make adjustments immediately. Now I have no idea what I'm doing, so I'm super stressed about it, and I'm like, "What's going on?
[00:02:49] Carrie Lupoli: I have to duck. I have to move. I have to..." And the sailor, my instructor, was just like, "Oh my gosh," like, "Like, calm down." And he just was super calm, and he [00:03:00] was like, just adjusted the winds based on the way the wind was blowing. And e- every single time I had another lesson, I got a little bit more comfortable expecting the winds to shift.
[00:03:11] Carrie Lupoli: I, I still, I will say by the end of five sessions, I didn't know what I was doing. Like, I couldn't even tell. He was like, "What, what side of the, of the, of your face is your wind blowing from?" And I'm like, "I have no idea." Anyway, that being said, it was fascinating to me to watch him calmly, collectedly just shift the sails in the direction we were going, because the bottom line is we had to sail.
[00:03:34] Carrie Lupoli: The, uh, the... It wasn't like that there was an option. We were on the water, and we needed to move in the direction we needed to move in. If we just were like, "Okay, the sail is here," we're not moving the sail, and the wind adjusted, there's no way we would be in control. There's no way we would get to the destination, or we would get back to dock.
[00:03:54] Carrie Lupoli: So it really hit me that this concept of sailing and [00:04:00] adjusting and recognizing that sailing has to happen regardless of where the wind is blowing- is exactly what we need to recognize in h- how we deal with the stress that goes on in our life. I say all the time, "Life is gonna happen. Curve balls are gonna show up."
[00:04:18] Carrie Lupoli: But what does that actually mean when it comes to showing up for ourselves? And the reason why this all hit me is 'cause I took these sailing lessons last year, but I just-- it, like, just hit me recently and I thought, "I have to do a podcast episode on this," because I think this has the capacity to literally transform the way you look at everything that's happening in your life.
[00:04:39] Carrie Lupoli: Whenever you have, like, life show up in some sort of way, I'm gonna give you a tool today to be able to absolutely know what's going on and how to handle it. And it's really taking lessons from my instructor when I was sailing. So every-- w- with my clients in my private practice, Disruptive Nutrition, I, [00:05:00] uh, have a team of coaches, and my clients all have my cell phone number and I check in with them.
[00:05:05] Carrie Lupoli: They all have lifetime support. And so I will send a message to them over video every month for a while, and then every six months, and we continue to stay in touch. Well, I got a few messages from some people that gave me an update as how they were doing after a year of working with us. And a couple of them said to me, "Ugh, life showed up."
[00:05:27] Carrie Lupoli: And there were a couple different things that happened to them, and one woman, she got married, which was amazing, right? But it caused a whole lot of, like, time capacity issues, and they went on this big honeymoon and all sorts of stuff. Another person, their mother died, and before their mother died, they were taking care of them, and it was just a very, very big strain on their life.
[00:05:49] Carrie Lupoli: Both of them had things happening to them that shifted them off course, and it was sort of like the reason why they didn't show up for [00:06:00] themselves in the way that they had when they first started working with us. I've been doing this work for a long time, working with women to become the healthiest version of themselves, and I know that life is gonna happen.
[00:06:13] Carrie Lupoli: And so it's almost like it, it kind of like shocks me when it shocks them. I'll hear from women being like, "Oh my gosh, life showed up," and I'm like, "Doesn't life always show up?" Like, when has it ever really been consistently just, quote-unquote, "smooth sailing"? And I was sort of tired of my client using the storms of life to be the excuse for not showing up, and that's really truly what I mean when I say we are operating from the corset, because the corset tells us the cultural conditioning, this pressure that we have on us to either over-perform, over-functioning, s- sacrifice ourselves for everyone else, do things for other people or for the wrong reasons, [00:07:00] and we've had that corset on us since we were little.
[00:07:03] Carrie Lupoli: It shows up dramatically when life shows up dramatically. And I know this because when life shows up in a way that we don't We're planning, we struggle to be able to then do the things that we say we wanna do to stay as the healthiest version of ourselves. And so how do we get over that? How do we deal with that?
[00:07:26] Carrie Lupoli: Well, we're gonna talk about sailing today. Because when I saw my instructor deal with the winds that were coming at us and just adjusting and, and sailing nonetheless, I thought, "This is exactly what we have to learn." We have to learn how to adjust our sails, not be so surprised when the wind hits us, and be able to know, actually have a blueprint for what do we do in different situations.
[00:07:54] Carrie Lupoli: Like, I literally got a lesson in every type of condition I [00:08:00] might come across as a sailor. Now, I will not call myself a sailor because I am not there yet, but I thought, "Oh my gosh, there's a protocol." There's a protocol for all the different conditions, but we don't have a protocol for life when life throws us off our game.
[00:08:16] Carrie Lupoli: And the only thing we really know is what the corset has told us, and the corset has told us life has to be perfect, we have to make sure everybody else gets served before we do, and showing up for ourself in any way, shape, or form is conditional. Is conditional along the lines of life has to be perfect in order to do so.
[00:08:35] Carrie Lupoli: And I'm going to disrupt everything you have been told about dealing with stress and how to get through challenging times in our life without losing yourself. We are always on a 1% incline and a 1% decline. We are never just stagnant. I used to live in Singapore, and when you live in a very hot, humid country like that, they have very [00:09:00] strict rules around stagnant water.
[00:09:02] Carrie Lupoli: If it rained and there was a puddle, you had to clear the water in your house or your, your property because stagnant water turns toxic, and then you get mosquitoes. And mosquitoes in hot, humid areas like Singapore can be deadly. So I think about that all the time. We're never staying stagnant. We're always moving in one direction or another.
[00:09:22] Carrie Lupoli: We have to recognize that. So life, w- when it shows up and we don't know how to adjust, we will go in a 1% decline, and then over time we're gonna look up and we're gonna be like, "How the heck did I get here?" And then you're gonna be like, "Oh, I know what it was. It was my wedding," or, "It was the death of my mom," or, "It was when the kids had to go to college."
[00:09:45] Carrie Lupoli: Whatever it is throws us off our game, and we don't have a protocol for that. Because the only thing the corset has ever taught us is that you cannot control your circumstances, and when life gets out of control [00:10:00] You then have to get out of control. You can't actually take care of yourself. And so we're going to actually throw all that away.
[00:10:09] Carrie Lupoli: We're gonna, like, absolutely give you a protocol for r- whatever life throws your way. Now, I did this with my clients, and they were like, "Oh my gosh, this was so, so, so helpful." So I thought, "I should do this on my podcast," because this is exactly what From Corset to Crown is. It's moving from that cultural conditioning and that pressure that the corset has literally just told us is normal, and moving into the idea that, listen, I am worthy.
[00:10:36] Carrie Lupoli: I have the ability, I have the skill set, and I have the worth to take care of myself. Because if I don't take care of myself, I will not be able to take care of others. When you operate from the crown of self-worth, when you know how to lead yourself like a good leader should be able to, well, then, you may end up making the same decisions, but it's for very different reasons.
[00:10:59] Carrie Lupoli: So [00:11:00] there are four different types of conditions that a sailor might come across in the water. Now, there may be more than that, because I am like sailor kindergarten. All you sailors out there, like, I don't need 500 emails that tell me I don't have all of this right, because this is a metaphor, and so you're gonna go with me this one, okay?
[00:11:16] Carrie Lupoli: All right, so there's four different types of conditions, and a way to think about this with life. So first we have our storm waters. So this is when life just feels really overwhelming, that your capacity is really low, and it's really hard to think about taking care of yourself. This is when your parents maybe need you full time because of something that happened to them.
[00:11:41] Carrie Lupoli: Maybe there was a trauma or a tragedy that happened. I'll tell you about one of my clients. Her name is Dawn, and she has a son who is 20 years old with cerebral palsy. She has been dealing with that her whole life, being his caregiver. Well, not that long ago, her daughter, typically functioning, 24-year-old, full-time [00:12:00] job, healthy, had a brain aneurysm and a stroke.
[00:12:02] Carrie Lupoli: She ended up in a wheelchair. She ended up... I, I mean, it was a- a- absolutely, she had to learn how to walk and function all over again. Dawn, without a doubt, during that time in her life, was in storm waters. Her capacity was really low. It was... Life w- just was challenging her in every single way. And the corset tells us, "Drop everything, take care of my children, and abandon myself."
[00:12:28] Carrie Lupoli: Life is so far from perfect. But what Dawn has learned, based on the fact that she wor- has worked with me for years, was she realized showing up for herself is still a requirement. She still had to sail the boat. Sailing was still necessary. Was it going to look different? Yes, because in stormy waters, you do things very differently than when you are on just regular calm seas.
[00:12:55] Carrie Lupoli: And so Dawn, it was such a perfect example, 'cause she would message me over and over again, [00:13:00] and she would do little tiny things that still allowed her to take care of herself. And I would say that there are three things that we have to recognize has to happen regardless of what type of water or conditions we're in to sail.
[00:13:15] Carrie Lupoli: Because sailing isn't, isn't optional. Living your life and taking care of yourself isn't optional. We have to have an interest in others, but we also have to have an interest in ourselves. And what the corset has told us is that that can't be true. It can't be true that you are going to commit to other people fully and still commit to yourself.
[00:13:35] Carrie Lupoli: It's an either/or. I have another client who told me, she's like, "Listen," she was 70 years old, and she goes, "Listen, my kids are grown. My husband doesn't need me. My parents passed away. Now I can take care of myself." Because she believed, because of the corset, that she was unable to care for herself because she had to make sure everybody else was taken care of first.
[00:13:57] Carrie Lupoli: I am rocking your world to tell you, [00:14:00] taking care of yourself is sailing. You have to sail. You have to sail for so many reasons. Number one, which I think is the most important, is that you were put on this earth for a purpose. In order to serve your purpose for as long as possible, you have to be the healthiest version of yourself, and you cannot serve others unless you are healthy, whether you are 20 or whether you are 90.
[00:14:21] Carrie Lupoli: That is true. We don't wait until we are 70 before we start to take care of ourselves, because we will have missed all the opportunity of the healthiest version of ourselves when we're 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, because we serve so much better when we are balanced, when we are healthy, when we are confident, when we know who we are.
[00:14:41] Carrie Lupoli: We can do so much more for others Well, howdy. Let's go on a trip together, shall we? How about Nashville, Tennessee? October 2nd through the 4th, I am bringing my concept, my approach, and my heart to you in Nashville with my live event, From Corset to Crown. It's gonna be three days of being in person with [00:15:00] all sorts of amazing speakers, but here's what's really gonna happen.
[00:15:03] Carrie Lupoli: Friday, you're gonna show up wearing a corset. We all will, and that's right where you're supposed to be because we're gonna start to recognize all the things that are just keeping us stuck. We're gonna name them. We're gonna sign a peace treaty with ourselves. And then on Saturday, I am going to disrupt everything you've been told about weight loss, confidence, and self-worth in a room full of women doing the same hard, honest, amazing work.
[00:15:24] Carrie Lupoli: I'm gonna teach you the last nutritional advice you will ever need. I'm going to teach you the tools I use with my clients and the things that have worked with tens of thousands of women. And then on Sunday, we're gonna get real and dig in and bring it all together with true centeredness, self-love, empowerment.
[00:15:42] Carrie Lupoli: I cannot wait for you not just to be inspired, but to learn so much information and leave with a complete and total transformation. So for a limited time, I am offering our general admission ticket for $50 off. We've already sold out of platinum and VIP, but every single person in that room, I'm going to hug, I'm going to greet.
[00:15:59] Carrie Lupoli: It's gonna be [00:16:00] incredible. So go get your ticket now. I can't wait to see you in Nashville.
[00:16:07] Carrie Lupoli: Two, if we are waiting and waiting and waiting until we are older, how much damage has been done that honestly becomes somewhat irreversible? And then others are going to have to take care of you because you did not sail when you needed to sail. And that, to me, is absolutely a non-negotiable for me. I refuse for my kids to have to take care of me when I'm older because I never sailed when I was younger and when I could.
[00:16:33] Carrie Lupoli: Okay, so let's go back to Dawn for a second, where she was in stormy waters. So life is going to look different, but there are three things that we are doing always to sail, regardless of whether we are in stormy waters or whether we are in favorable winds. And I love this story about Dawn because as hard as it's been for her, it's such a good example of how we have no excuses.
[00:16:54] Carrie Lupoli: We have to sail. So there is a mindset, first of all. Before I get into the three [00:17:00] things that absolutely have to happen, there's a mindset that has to happen in every single condition, and understanding what that mindset is is going to be pivotal to being able to sail. But the three things that have to happen is that there has to be a way we are showing up for ourselves.
[00:17:17] Carrie Lupoli: And I say this all the time, right? Like, regardless of what is going on in life, you still brush your teeth and you still get dressed every day. So there is capacity, even if we are in the stormy waters. So we're gonna show up for ourselves in some way, shape, or form. That's number one. Number two, there is going to be some level of movement of your body, regardless of the conditions.
[00:17:36] Carrie Lupoli: I say strength training, 'cause strength is a non-negotiable in sailing. And number three, morning time. So you're gonna show up for yourself in some way, shape, or form when it comes to caring for your body. That's number one. Number two, in addition to that, and notice, this is what's so crazy to people, I put strength training in a different category than that.
[00:17:56] Carrie Lupoli: Not because it's not still showing up for yourself, but because we seem [00:18:00] to pick and choose the ways we're gonna show up for ourselves, and I'm not, I'm not standing by and letting you not choose strength. So you're gonna show up for yourself in some way, shape, or form to th- to serve your body. You're going to strength train in some way, sh- shape, or form, and you're going to do a morning time in some way, shape, or form.
[00:18:15] Carrie Lupoli: Those three things. You have to have the right mindset, and that mindset is dependent on what conditions you are in. So let's go to stormy waters. Your mindset in stormy waters is to preserve. Your job is to stay afloat and protect your energy. So that's your protocol, that's your mindset is around preservation.
[00:18:37] Carrie Lupoli: So the thing that you're going to do during stormy waters, the thing that Dawn did was, "How am I gonna show up for myself?" So maybe you're gonna just eat very simply and consistently. You're going to choose nourishment instead of numbing, and that is huge in stormy waters. How many times do we choose alcohol or the drive-through or binge eating when we are very, very [00:19:00] stressed and capacity feels very low?
[00:19:01] Carrie Lupoli: So we are preserving nourishment instead of numbing, and that is, like, the number one thing that I think we have to recognize when we are in stormy waters. We ask for help. Just simply asking for help is a 1% movement in taking care of yourself, of showing up for yourself when you are in stormy waters.
[00:19:22] Carrie Lupoli: Resting without guilt. If you know you are tired and you need to rest, you rest. You don't have to feel guilty or suggest that that's not taking care of yourself. The crown during this time says, "It is time for me to build resilience." That's the mindset that you're going in this with. I need to build some resilience here.
[00:19:44] Carrie Lupoli: So when you're talking about showing up for yourself, maybe you're just celebrating small wins and letting go of perfection. All of that counts in terms of showing up for yourself. Number two, strength training. How do you strength train? Well, how does Dawn strength train when she's got a daughter in the hospital [00:20:00] who's learning how to walk, and a son in a wheelchair with cerebral palsy, a husband who works for TSA and works third shift?
[00:20:07] Carrie Lupoli: How in the world does she do any sort of strength training at all, and why does it even matter? Well, Dawn will tell you that when she actually did these things within this protocol during this p- portion of her life, this season of her life, this condition of her life, she had more energy, and she was able to actually sh- care for her two kids so much better.
[00:20:28] Carrie Lupoli: And we're talking, like, literally saying 10 minutes twice a week, three times a week, and some sort of body weight movement like body squats, pushups, just for a couple of minutes a few times during the day. You can do that. If you go to the bathroom and you pee, you can do some squats in the restroom. Now, why?
[00:20:51] Carrie Lupoli: This is not about weight loss. A- and that's the thing that so many people just think about. Strength training and exercise is because I'm losing weight. No. This is about you [00:21:00] becoming the healthiest version of yourself. In order to be able to adjust your sails, in order to be able to keep sailing, your body has to stay in movement in some way, shape, or form.
[00:21:08] Carrie Lupoli: And so that's the protocol for when you're in stormy waters. And now you're like, "Okay, listen, I don't have to go to the gym for 45 minutes," because that's not possible. You adjust your sails by saying a few minutes a few days a week. A- and body, just in my body, I'm going to put my muscles in action And then morning time.
[00:21:26] Carrie Lupoli: Why am I such a stickler about morning time? Well, I go live every single morning on YouTube and on Instagram, Monday through Friday at 8:00 AM, because morning time is the most important time for us to reset and realign our intentions with our actions. It's a standard operating procedure that needs to happen regardless of the conditions.
[00:21:42] Carrie Lupoli: This is what keeps you sailing, even if it's for five minutes. So what does morning time look like when you are in stormy waters? It might be literally one declaration to yourself, or affirmation that tells you and reminds you who you are. Five minutes of prayer while maybe you're even [00:22:00] driving in the car to the hospital the way Dawn was doing.
[00:22:02] Carrie Lupoli: Maybe you're listening to a podcast like this one. And by the way, go ahead and subscribe and like so that more people can get this message and understand how to go from corset to crown. Maybe you're just asking yourself, "What do I need today?" There is some level of reflection so that you can actually take a breath and move forward for others.
[00:22:23] Carrie Lupoli: So your success, your measure of success during stormy waters is consistency. That you, you're just staying connected to the woman you're becoming, and that is it. That season's not gonna last forever, but think about this. If you can just consistently show up in that way, right? Where you're choosing nourishment over numbing, you're maybe asking for help, you're, you're resting when you need to, celebrating the small wins.
[00:22:46] Carrie Lupoli: You're doing some sort of a movement when it comes to strength training and a few minutes of morning time to get yourself in the mindset of being able to know who you are and serving from the crown instead of the corset. Because if you don't, [00:23:00] then it starts to become resentful, then the stress comes in.
[00:23:03] Carrie Lupoli: Then it's like your cup is full, and one little drop in it sets you over the edge because you're overflowing. You cannot afford to overflow when you are in stormy waters. You gotta stay calm and you gotta still sail, but I'm giving you permission to change the protocol. Okay, so let's talk about the next condition that can be in.
[00:23:22] Carrie Lupoli: It's called a headwind. A headwind is when the wind is, like, coming at you instead of working with you, and so you're fighting the wind. You have to adjust the sails. You still need to Actually move the boat and go into the direction you wanna go. 'Cause remember, we're always going in one direction incline or in one, one direction or 1% incline or 1% decline.
[00:23:42] Carrie Lupoli: So your mindset when you are in headwinds, which means life is demanding, but it's manageable. We're not in full stormy weather, but we got a lot going on right now with me, with the launch of my book from Corset to Crumb, with the launch of my children's book and children's program, with my live event in Nashville, [00:24:00] which I want you at in October.
[00:24:01] Carrie Lupoli: I feel like I'm in headwinds right now. So my mindset is to simplify, to actually just prioritize what matters most and take away the stuff that doesn't. That requires you knowing what matters most and what m- and what doesn't. So the three areas, right? Showing up for myself, strength training, and morning time.
[00:24:22] Carrie Lupoli: What is that gonna look like? Well, for showing up my, for myself, I am going to maybe just make sure I am protecting my calendar. So during this time in my life right now, because I am in headwinds, I'm not doing a lot of socializing. If somebody's asking us to go out for dinner with another couple, if someone's asking us to go to the movies or do some sort of social engagement, my answer is no right now.
[00:24:45] Carrie Lupoli: I am protecting my calendar. I'm maybe choosing convenience without guilt, so I'm going doing Instacart instead of going to the grocery store. I'm doing like puzzle piece grab and go protein, fat, and carbs versus cooking big elaborate [00:25:00] dinners. I am focused on keeping my blood sugar steady and really thinking about good enough is good enough.
[00:25:07] Carrie Lupoli: Okay? So that's how I am showing up for myself. Number two, strength training. What am I doing for that? Well, I'm not in stormy waters, so I have a little bit of more capacity, and it's exactly what I'm doing right now. I have a standard operating procedure. I work out at 7:00. Sometimes my brain is not totally into it.
[00:25:22] Carrie Lupoli: Sometimes I'm on my phone while I'm doing it. Sometimes I'm not lifting as heavy as I could be, but I am there. And so maybe you're doing 20 to 30 minutes three times a week. It's, it's like I'm focused on some compound moves, but I am not like full on, but I am doing something, and it's a little bit more than when I'm in stormy waters.
[00:25:41] Carrie Lupoli: What does my morning time now look like? Well, maybe I'm adding in some just moments of gratitude and prayer. Maybe I'm adding both of those. Maybe I have a little bit more time to be able to sit versus doing it in the car while I'm moving from one place to another. Maybe I'm planning out my day and really like time managing what I have to do, but it's small and it's [00:26:00] concise, but it's consistent.
[00:26:02] Carrie Lupoli: So the theme, success With that, with that mindset of simplifying, success is simplicity. It's that you are focused on what matters and you're letting go what doesn't. And then the third set of conditions, so we've had stormy waters, right? We've had headwinds, and now the third set of conditions is steady waters.
[00:26:24] Carrie Lupoli: And the steady waters are like, okay, listen, life is pretty predictable. I kinda know... I, I mean, it's not to say it's not busy, but it's sort of like I know what's going on. There's no major surprises happening right now, and I can kinda handle what's going on. So my capacity is growing, my mindset is building.
[00:26:45] Carrie Lupoli: Okay, so let's just review. Mindset when we're in stormy waters is preserving. My mindset during headwinds is simplifying And my mindset during steady waters is building. I, I, I can build some strength here, I can build [00:27:00] some habits, I can build more resilience. And so what are the three things that I'm doing when I'm in that season of life?
[00:27:07] Carrie Lupoli: What's my protocol for that? Well, how am I gonna show up for myself? I can show up for myself by prioritizing sleep during this time in my life, meal planning or meal prepping so that I have stuff in front of me and I'm not just going for convenience all the time. I am investing a little bit more in relationships, 'cause remember, in headwinds, like for me anyway, I am pri- I'm prioritizing the things that matter the most.
[00:27:33] Carrie Lupoli: Not to say relationships don't matter the most, but I'm taking the time because I have low capacity and higher stress, and building relationships wasn't feeling, isn't feeling like the thing that I need to focus on the most. I might be building relationships as much as I can, but it's not a priority.
[00:27:50] Carrie Lupoli: When I am in steady waters, that becomes more of a priority there. That's my pri- my, my, my protocol there. And I'm thinking about my emotions a little bit more, some [00:28:00] emotional healing because I have the space to do it. Okay, so what does strength training look like in str- in steady waters? Well, we're gonna be progressing with purpose.
[00:28:10] Carrie Lupoli: We're going to be building muscle and building strength during this time because we have the capacity. So maybe I'm going 45 minutes of a workout four times a week because I have the ability to do that. That's my protocol during that time. And my morning time is going to be, now I can up level, I can add a few more minutes.
[00:28:27] Carrie Lupoli: Maybe I'm doing 15 minutes of morning time, 20 minutes of morning time. Or I might be doing 10 minutes, but I have more capacity because my brain is a little bit clearer of being able to really understand my time management. Maybe I'm reading a page of a book. Maybe I'm just getting into the questioning of really who am I becoming, and di- diving deeper in who I am.
[00:28:50] Carrie Lupoli: And then we've got favorable winds. This means the winds are all going in the condition I want them to be. I don't have to work that hard to navigate the [00:29:00] sail. I'm just literally getting pushed in the direction I wanna go. And that's sort of what I thought sailing was gonna be like in a way because it looks so pretty from afar, and I realized that is not what happens.
[00:29:10] Carrie Lupoli: It is, like, mostly these other conditions. But in the time where you're feeling like, okay, like, I have unusual margin and freedom right now, I see this when people are retiring. Or the woman that I told you about that was 70, and she's like, "Okay, my kids are gone, my husband doesn't need me, my parents are dead, I can finally take care of myself."
[00:29:27] Carrie Lupoli: Like, and she was retired. Like, no. Like, favorable winds is what the corset has told us is the only place that we have margin and capacity to take care of ourselves And that, that, I'm, I'm just disrupting all that. I call BS on that. You can do the things during other parts of our life, other conditions, just not gonna look the same.
[00:29:47] Carrie Lupoli: But you have to sail. You have to sail because you can't just figure out how to sail when you're 70. You're gonna have missed out on so much of the beauty of the journey of not sailing, and your sailboat's not gonna work as good. It [00:30:00] just isn't, because you hadn't used it in 70 years. So now the mindset when you're in favorable winds is expansion.
[00:30:06] Carrie Lupoli: You can expand because your job is to dream bigger, create more impact in your life. You-- I always say our job is to serve others, right? And so during these other times, we have to figure out how to serve others and serve ourselves. But when we are in these favorable winds, now it's like how do I have more impact on a larger scope of people or, or mission or a movement?
[00:30:30] Carrie Lupoli: It becomes something so powerful in so many ways. So now three, three things. Showing up for ourselves during training and morning time. How are we gonna show up for ourselves in this season of our life? Well, we're gonna dream more and pursue more passions. We're going to maybe travel and explore more.
[00:30:48] Carrie Lupoli: Maybe we're gonna allow ourselves the opportunity to be able to mentor and serve others. Really finding movement, nourishment, serving our body in, in such [00:31:00] a important, impactful way we're gonna be able to have the capacity for. And then strength training. What does strength training look like? Well, we're gonna challenge ourselves more.
[00:31:08] Carrie Lupoli: We're gonna explore what's possible and get ourselves in a gym, in a workout with stronger, heavier weights four to five times a week. Maybe we're working out with a trainer. Maybe we're, we're challenging ourselves to go to a gym instead of doing it at home because we have the space, we have the capacity, and we have the ability because we're in favorable winds.
[00:31:28] Carrie Lupoli: And then what does morning time look like? Well, morning time is ex- extended, and now we're taking more time to actually really truly get grounded in gratitude, dig into new learning, and then really intentionally time blocking our day. When we're using morning time to be able to help explore our purpose even deeper, reflect on who we are and who we wanna become, what am I called into next, it becomes really powerful And that's when we can make su- like, really [00:32:00] intensive impact.
[00:32:01] Carrie Lupoli: Now, that's not to say we can't make impact in every other aspect of our life, but if we are literally trying to brave the stormy weather, we're not thinking about that right now, but your story, when you get through it, will absolutely impact others. Dawn's story right now is impacting others because while in the storm, she had a protocol, and now she's actually coming out of that storm, and I would say that Dawn is now in steady waters, and she literally texted me the other day, and she's like, "I am going to the gym now four times a week," when before she was literally, like, in the hospital with her daughter doing squats in the bathroom for a few minutes.
[00:32:38] Carrie Lupoli: But she now has a new protocol because she's now in different winds. And what's so incredible is that when you give yourself an understanding of this and permission to, to, to live this way, when the winds start to act up, you aren't like me in the boat that was, like, freaking out and didn't know what to do.
[00:32:56] Carrie Lupoli: You are like the sailing instructor that was like, "Calm the heck down, [00:33:00] girl. We got this. We just have to adjust our sails." A sailboat in very stormy weather looks very different than a sailboat in favorable winds, and so should your life. You're still sailing, but now you have the ability, the permission, and the self-leadership knowledge to be able to take it and move.
[00:33:19] Carrie Lupoli: We can't stay stagnant. There's no such thing. We're always moving at a 1% incline or a 1% decline, and you know, you've lived long enough to know the stormy weather will not last forever. And so when the weather becomes more manageable and you can level up, you will. But when it's tough, you still have to sail.
[00:33:38] Carrie Lupoli: So I would love to know more about how you're feeling about this episode, about what I've taught, and about how you're going to apply this to your life. And if you feel like this was helpful, I would just humbly ask that you could like, subscribe, and share this episode. The mission that we are on, me and my team, of helping people go from corset to crown is one that is just such a part of [00:34:00] who we are, the impact we want to make on others.
[00:34:03] Carrie Lupoli: And I, I hope and pray that if this speaks to you, that you will be able to share with others as well. And remember, the crown is yours. You were born with the crown. It's just gotten buried under just years and years of the corset. So you don't have to prove your worth. Pressure is not proof of purpose.
[00:34:28] Carrie Lupoli: You just have to take that crown, remember it's on, and straighten it. We'll see you next time.
