Stop Living For Approval And Start Choosing For Yourself - 289
What if knowing what you want is actually an act of self-worth? As women, we’re often taught to look outside ourselves for the answers: what we should wear, how we should look, what we should buy, and even what we should want.
In this episode, I’m having a very different kind of conversation with Rachel Moscaritolo and Amanda Watkins, the women behind Bespoke by A+R, about jewelry, entrepreneurship, empowerment, and what happens when you stop letting other people tell you what you want.
Rather than starting with what is available in a traditional retail store, Rachel and Amanda begin by understanding the individual–her lifestyle, preferences, and what she actually wants. That idea connects directly to my From Corset to Crown message–moving away from pressure and approval and toward self-trust and knowing who you are. I also share the deeply personal story of losing my wedding rings in the ocean and the realization that came from it.
Conclusion:
Losing my rings initially made me feel shame and guilt. But when I found them, I realized the rings weren’t truly lost. I just needed to know where to look. And I think so many women need that reminder. You are not lost. You don't need to earn your self-worth. Your value is already within you, and you only need to "find" it.
In This Episode:
00:00 Introduction
03:47 How two women turned an idea into a business
06:06 Why traditional jewelry shopping can feel stressful and intimidating
07:51 Starting with what you want instead of what you’re told to want
11:35 How social media and comparison influence our choices
13:42 The story behind Carrie’s lost wedding rings
16:20 Understanding value, trust, and the jewelry industry
20:30 Why the lost rings became a powerful lesson in self-worth
24:10 Building community and creating something that empowers women
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Pre-Order Carrie’s Book, From Corset to Crown!
Get your copy of "From Corset to Crown" and a ton of awesome bonuses to make the learning really stick at: https://www.carrielupoli.com/corsettocrown
Carrie’s From Corset to Crown Live Event in Nashville on October 2-4, 2026:
The ultimate girls' trip is on! Get your tickets here (special group rate for 2 or more!) https://www.disruptivenutrition.com/liveevent2026
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Transcript:
00:00:00:00 - 00:00:03:08
And that's the whole concierge personal jeweler that we really want
00:00:03:12 - 00:00:07:19
provide everybody because we think, you know, it's not just luxury in regards to
00:00:07:19 - 00:00:10:19
high price. It's luxury of just the way it makes you feel.
00:00:11:00 - 00:00:12:14
any price point.
00:00:12:16 - 00:00:29:13
Okay, so we are doing something completely different than anything I've ever done before. On this podcast, I have two women. Well, that's not the different part because I have some women on here. But these women and what they do is very different. They own a concierge jewelry design company.
00:00:29:14 - 00:00:36:15
Why am I having jewelry designers on? Well, there are women owned business that had an idea and decided they were going to jump on it.
00:00:36:16 - 00:01:09:12
Have done some amazing work bringing women together, helping them feel less intimidated, less pressure, and helping them to actually figure out what they want and why they want it. I use them when I designed my rings, when my husband and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary, and then I lost them in the ocean. In fact, I wrote about it in my book From Corset to Crown, and I knew I needed to bring them in so we could take this story full circle so you could learn why they started this, what they do.
00:01:09:13 - 00:01:28:08
And if you've ever been feeling pressured in a situation to buy jewelry, you've got to watch this. If you were in the market for jewelry, you've got to watch this. But if you are a woman who wants to uplift other women and surround yourself with women who uplift each other and straighten each other's crowns. This episode is for you.
00:01:28:10 - 00:01:40:18
cannot wait to introduce you to my friend Rachel and Amanda from bespoke A&R. Let's tune in.
00:01:40:20 - 00:01:55:22
Rachel and Amanda. I am so glad you are here. From corset to crown. This is a very different topic than I ever talk about. We're talking about jewelry. We're talking about all things glitter, which I love because, you know, corset to crown and that's all glittery.
00:01:55:22 - 00:02:01:01
But I'm so excited that you are both here. Welcome, welcome, welcome.
00:02:01:03 - 00:02:10:17
All right. Make sure you tell everybody. Amanda, raise your hand. For those of you watching, this is Amanda and Rachel. Raise your hand. This is Rachel. Okay, good.
00:02:10:20 - 00:02:28:15
So sometimes I. You know, when you have two people on a podcast, it's hard to tell the difference. And so you two are friends and business owners, and you also have worked with me, and I was like, I need to have you on my podcast, because the experience that I had with you
00:02:28:15 - 00:02:34:18
was unlike any other experience I've had in the same type of thing that I was purchasing.
00:02:34:21 - 00:02:35:22
And
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wanted everybody to know about you, to know about what you do, why what you do matters. And it's so different because I'm often talking about, you know, health and wellness and
00:02:47:07 - 00:02:59:03
empowerment and becoming the healthiest version of you. And we're going to talk today about like, jewelry and diamonds and all of that. And that may seem like it's a little bit astray from what I normally talk about.
00:02:59:03 - 00:03:29:13
But in all reality, there's so much alignment in parallel. So I'm really excited to be able to dig in to what you do and why you do it. So who wants to start? I really would love for one of you to tell the story about your concierge jewelry experience for women and how it came about, and I think it's very like I had no idea anybody like you existed, because anytime I've ever bought jewelry before for an anniversary band, I remember the engagement ring process with my husband.
00:03:29:13 - 00:03:30:06
I remember
00:03:30:09 - 00:03:33:17
I got a necklace from my husband for my first Mother's Day.
00:03:33:18 - 00:04:18:05
There was so much stress and anxiety around the process that it was kind of like, not even fun. And you guys have actually developed something that takes all of that anxiety away. So I'd love to hear a little bit about the story of how it all started.
00:04:18:07 - 00:04:48:07
experience. Everybody loved it. We're
00:04:48:09 - 00:05:34:12
I love that. So, Rachel, tell us a little bit about what your expertise is other than organizing girls trips.
00:05:34:14 - 00:05:44:22
but also
00:05:45:00 - 00:06:05:12
And most importantly, she has
00:06:05:14 - 00:06:09:08
so great, I have to tell you about when my husband got my engagement
00:06:09:10 - 00:06:25:10
he took his father and his brother in law down to New York City with each of them with thousands of dollars in their pockets, like spread out. And my brother in law is a correctional officer. And he came with his gun and they were ready, like they were like, this is how this is how we got to get a diamond.
00:06:25:11 - 00:06:28:07
We got to go to Diamond District and we got to be prepared
00:06:28:12 - 00:06:38:13
and ready. And I was like, that feels so stressful. My husband said it was the most stressful experience because he wasn't even sure if he was not getting ripped off. You know what I mean? Like the whole thing was like
00:06:38:13 - 00:06:39:12
crazy, right?
00:06:39:12 - 00:06:41:10
and so anyway, we still joke about that.
00:06:41:10 - 00:06:42:02
And then
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25 years later,
00:06:44:12 - 00:07:04:00
ended up finding you guys and asked for like, again, I had no idea that anybody like you existed. And it was a friend of a friend that told me about you, and I could not get over the experience of getting actually an engagement, a new engagement ring that we decided to up level, and an a wedding band.
00:07:04:00 - 00:07:30:04
So I do want to talk about what that experience was like. But what I think is so empowering is that you as women, each of you took a strength that you had and decided to find a way to put it together, to build something for other women. And I think that is one of the messages here about who you both are, that I think is so inspiring to the people that listen to my podcast,
00:07:30:06 - 00:07:32:12
like, it's so easy to
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have an idea, right?
00:07:34:03 - 00:07:45:16
But then to actually capitalize on it, like so many people like I know what to do. I just don't do it when it comes to help and wellness. But we do that with life too. Like, oh, wouldn't it be great if we could do X, Y, and Z, but you actually did it?
00:07:45:20 - 00:08:00:10
So tell me a little bit about how you actually like let's inspire some women here. You had this idea. What was like the first step that you did to actually make it a reality? Because that's the thing really hard. What is the first thing you do to actually put together an idea into action?
00:08:00:12 - 00:08:16:21
I think first we're like thinking, okay, who would who would want this? Who would be interested in this? And we're talking and we're like, you know, we both go to Nordstrom and we love using the personal shopper just to bring everything based on what they ask us so that we can get the clothes but be in and be out.
00:08:16:22 - 00:08:38:00
You know, we're not spending all day. And so we understand there's other busy professionals, people that just don't like to go shopping out out there. And so we just want to attract anybody that just wants to save the time, have a trusted professional and really flip the script where when you go into a traditional retail, you know, they're just trying to sell you what they have.
00:08:38:00 - 00:08:54:12
And we want to start off with, what do you like, what's your lifestyle like? You know, asking the questions. So then we can work behind the scenes to find that perfect peace so that we want the experience to be just as awesome as that piece of jewelry is going to be.
00:08:54:17 - 00:08:57:19
I love that so much. And this is where I think it
00:08:57:21 - 00:09:08:20
resonate and I think so many people do because all right, look there's going to be a purchase like if you're if you decide you're going to do, do a purchase, either you're getting married or an engagement ring or a wedding band or just a piece of jewelry that you know you want.
00:09:08:21 - 00:09:34:04
And when you walk into a retail shop, you don't realize A the markup and B that they're going to try to sell you what they have, not necessarily what you want. And that's where even my whole message of identity with women is like, what do you want and why do you want it? I think there's this like process in the jewelry buying business that leads you into a decision versus you knowing who you are and what you want.
00:09:34:05 - 00:09:39:06
And that's hard for women sometimes, because when you did that with me, I was like,
00:09:39:08 - 00:10:02:15
what do I want? And it's an amazing experience to start with what you want versus walking into a store to be like, okay, what do I like? And I get that that could be helpful for people. But also when you start from truly knowing who you are and what you want, then it becomes truly yours versus kind of being convinced that you want something.
00:10:02:16 - 00:10:17:21
And not just such a piece of empowerment that a lot of women are not used to. Do you find that hard for women when you start with, okay. Who are you and what do you want? Versus let me show you what you want.
00:10:17:23 - 00:10:38:22
Right?
00:10:39:00 - 00:10:54:04
Now. Yep.
00:10:54:06 - 00:11:00:20
Oh my gosh. Yes.
00:11:00:22 - 00:11:03:00
No, I totally agree. And you
00:11:03:02 - 00:11:23:18
go ahead go go go go.
00:11:23:20 - 00:11:37:04
Yes.
00:11:37:06 - 00:11:42:08
people don't even know what they want. And then we start looking at pictures with social media.
00:11:42:09 - 00:12:02:14
You know, we've got celebrity jewelry, you've got Pinterest, you've got Instagram screenshots. There's so many places that people can give us what they like. It could be five completely different pictures, but it really helps us start
00:12:02:16 - 00:12:22:17
Well, howdy. Let's go on a trip together, shall we? How about Nashville, Tennessee? October 2nd through the fourth? I am bringing my concept, my approach, and my heart to you in Nashville with my live event from Corset to Crown. It's going to be three days of being in person with all sorts of amazing speakers. But here's what's really going to happen Friday.
00:12:22:17 - 00:12:42:23
You're going to show up. We're in the course. We all will. And that's right where you're supposed to be, because we are going to start to recognize all the things that are just keeping us stuck. We're going to name them, we're going to sign a peace treaty with ourselves. And then on Saturday, I'm going to disrupt everything you've been told about weight loss, confidence and self-worth and a room full of women doing the same hard, honest, amazing work.
00:12:43:00 - 00:13:07:00
I'm going to teach you the last nutritional advice you will ever need. I'm going to teach you the tools I use with my clients and the things that have worked with tens of thousands of women. And then on Sunday, we're going to get real and dig in and bring it all together with true centeredness, self-love, empowerment. I cannot wait for you not just to be inspired, but to learn so much information and leave with a complete and total transformation.
00:13:07:00 - 00:13:26:01
So for a limited time, I am offering our general admission tickets for $50 off. We've already sold out a platinum and VIP, but every single person in that room I'm going to hug, I'm going to greet. It's going to be incredible. So go get your ticket now. I can't wait to see you in Nashville.
00:13:26:03 - 00:13:28:09
It really. And I love the idea of
00:13:28:10 - 00:13:40:23
making the decision where it doesn't feel intimidating, doesn't feel like you have pressure. And like when we did it together I was like, oh, I kind of like this, and I like this. And then you were putting things together, and it was just so incredible to be able to do that with you.
00:13:40:23 - 00:13:51:19
And I do have to tell the story a little bit about how we ended up, what happened to my jewelry, because you are both. I don't think people realize this, but in my book, From Corset to Crown,
00:13:51:19 - 00:14:15:19
you ladies are literally the very first mention in the book without being mentioned, because the very first line in my book is how I lost my wedding rings in the ocean, and it was one of the most traumatic events of my life, because I had literally just gotten my brand new 25th anniversary band made by you.
00:14:15:19 - 00:14:28:02
I had just gotten a brand new wedding band made by you, and a brand new engagement ring. Exactly what I wanted. But like you, we had designed meticulously
00:14:28:02 - 00:14:41:11
and I mean, it was days I didn't even have it insured yet, and I lost them all in the ocean. And I was almost like, I remember being fully clothed in the ocean, looking for my rings, thinking, I don't deserve nice things.
00:14:41:11 - 00:14:57:12
And my husband's going, well, we haven't had them that long, so I guess they don't have that much sentimental value. And he was like, not angry with me at all. But we were just like, frantically looking. And I'm so mad at myself. And I remember thinking about you guys and I'm like, oh, I don't even know how to tell Rachel.
00:14:57:12 - 00:15:01:12
Amanda, how am I going to tell them that I lost them? And
00:15:01:15 - 00:15:21:10
people will have to read the book to figure out what happened next. But when I sent you the the introduction to the book, I was like, you guys are featured right here in the book. And what I think is so cool is that we are doing an event in Nashville, talk about a girls night, write a girls weekend in Nashville, and you're both going to be there.
00:15:21:10 - 00:15:34:23
You're both sponsors of the event, and I'm super excited for people to be able to meet you. But one of the things that's so cool about what you do is that we're doing some custom jewelry for the event as well, that people can
00:15:35:01 - 00:15:43:01
choose to to do, but you got me really thinking about all these women that are coming to Nashville for this event, and you're going to be there.
00:15:43:01 - 00:16:10:01
It would be really cool for people to have a little pop up party for themselves in their hotel rooms, because a lot of them are bringing friends. A lot of them are going to be local. So I'm just putting that as a seed planting idea for people. If if you're coming to Nashville or in the Nashville area, October 2nd through fourth, anywhere around that time that Rachel and Amanda can be with you guys doing your own little pop up girls party, which would be really, really cool.
00:16:10:03 - 00:16:28:17
So anyway, let's keep talking about the work that you do and why you do it. The experience that you provide for people. Because the the reason I think I tell everybody about what you do is because I was always so skeptical of being ripped off.
00:16:28:17 - 00:16:30:11
And you,
00:16:30:11 - 00:16:36:00
Rachel, we're talking about you understand the markup of the jewelry industry.
00:16:36:00 - 00:17:28:16
Can you talk a little bit about that? Because I think people don't realize that the jewelry store that you're going to is just the last in a very, very, very long line of people that have to get paid. And that's one of the things that you guys cut out. And I think that that is a really big part of the story that I don't think people realize.
00:17:28:18 - 00:18:24:22
from someone. So if you're
00:18:24:23 - 00:18:37:00
Yeah.
00:18:37:02 - 00:18:55:07
I mean, we did a Christmas present for my mother in law, which was a cross that she always wanted, and it was like all the kids were putting into for it together. And you guys were you were amazing, allowing us to be able to know, first of all, that we were getting something of quality. And you worked right within the budget.
00:18:55:07 - 00:19:04:00
And she she wears it every single day. She loves it so much. It's like a piece that like, everybody jokes about when she dies one day, who's going to get it?
00:19:04:00 - 00:19:12:17
But it was also part of it was right within the budget that we needed to spend. And so it was such a nice experience because we couldn't have done that from anywhere else, you know?
00:19:12:18 - 00:19:22:10
And so like any other store, we didn't even know what we were getting at the end of the day. So it was just it was lovely. Plus you guys shipped it in like 24 hours so we could have it in
00:19:22:10 - 00:19:31:06
time.
00:19:31:08 - 00:19:35:15
We were literally like, oh my gosh, we didn't get her anything.
00:19:35:17 - 00:19:39:11
And it was like Christmas was like in days
00:19:39:13 - 00:19:53:09
she had been asking for this forever. And I'm like, wait a minute, I've got people.
00:19:53:11 - 00:19:59:17
Now. Yeah, exactly, exactly. And for those women that are just like,
00:19:59:19 - 00:20:13:22
it's funny because when I was searching for my rings in the ocean, I literally said, I don't deserve nice things. And Peter was like, don't say that. And it's exactly my message. Like, you don't earn your worth, you don't earn your value. You can celebrate it.
00:20:13:22 - 00:20:19:16
And that's what it's all about to me. It's not like something to me that
00:20:19:18 - 00:20:30:07
I always have to remind myself that it's okay to have nice things. I am valuable, I don't have to wait in order to be able to wear it.
00:20:30:07 - 00:20:44:10
I don't wear a lot of jewelry at all. It's just my rings are representation of 25 years of love, of hard times, of adoption, of IVF, of all of that.
00:20:44:10 - 00:20:55:20
And so every time I look down at my hands, it reminds me of that. And it's like, I'm just proud of this life. And being able to have jewelry that represents that to me is great. But what's even
00:20:55:21 - 00:21:00:05
more special is I had a hand in designing it and working
00:21:00:05 - 00:21:17:20
I didn't. It's not like an off the shelf thing, but I also did not pay the same amount that I would have paid at the jewelry store for something off the shelf, like, it was just such an amazing balance of where I knew I was getting value, but I wasn't overpaying at all, and I was getting something completely custom.
00:21:17:20 - 00:21:34:05
And it's just operating from the Crown when you think about it that way.
00:21:34:07 - 00:21:38:00
It was so wild. So like when I think about how,
00:21:38:02 - 00:21:54:05
like symbolic these rings are to the message that I send to women, because I remember the tide had come in. So we were like under two feet of water. And I was like, I'm never going to. I knew where I was kind of sitting and I knew where I likely had.
00:21:54:06 - 00:22:10:01
They had fallen out of my pocket and I just kept looking around. I'm like, okay, I think I was here, but the landscape had changed so much because now there was water there and I just, like, knelt down and I just, I remember thinking, God is doing this for a reason. Like there is a reason why this is happening.
00:22:10:01 - 00:22:36:07
And the message I sent to women is, like I said, shame, I felt guilt, I was so frustrated, I was so angry. And it's the same kind of feeling that women have about themselves and their bodies and their self-worth. And I found the rings because they weren't lost. I just needed to know where to dig. And that's what I feel like is the message for this podcast and for my book is for women to just know where to dig
00:22:36:07 - 00:22:37:15
and that we're not lost.
00:22:37:15 - 00:22:46:19
And so now every time I look at my rings, everybody, every time I tell the story about the rings, I think of both of you and and the gift that you really given so many women with
00:22:46:21 - 00:22:57:09
with this jewelry that went through that experience, that now I can teach a bigger message to in a larger and a larger story with to inspire them to know who they are.
00:22:57:12 - 00:23:04:13
And so I think that's what's so powerful about what jewelry or things like that can do for people. There's a story behind it,
00:23:04:16 - 00:23:15:10
as opposed to just walking in to the mall and buying something because you're supposed to, you know what I mean? Because it's like a certain event or whatever it is. So I love that,
00:23:15:10 - 00:23:20:15
I love that you you provided that for me, but for so many other people and that
00:23:20:15 - 00:23:26:14
you're going to be in Nashville with us, too, and we're going to be able to see you and hug and all of that stuff.
00:23:26:16 - 00:23:44:19
So, so.
00:23:44:21 - 00:23:52:14
Yeah. And it was really cool because as I said it, then you guys could actually help me visualize it and make it happen. So
00:23:52:15 - 00:24:00:22
really just appreciate a woman own business, an idea that becomes reality, a service that helps women not feel as intimidated,
00:24:00:22 - 00:24:10:14
that we can trust each other, and that you can build something as a legacy piece for your family, and you just figured out how to bring that all in, as well as community.
00:24:10:15 - 00:24:36:23
I mean, these little girl, you know, experiences where you can come to a home, you can help people within their own safe environment, is another piece of the puzzle that I think is really cool. Of course, if you're like me and I was far away, we could do it virtually. But by being in Nashville, anybody that's in Nashville that wants to be able to have some time with with Rachel and Amanda, then we'll put all their contact information here, because I think that will be great.
00:24:36:23 - 00:25:09:03
If you haven't gotten your ticket to Nashville yet, make sure you do, because this is going to be an experience of truly going from corset to crown. And I can't wait to do that with you, to tell the story of the rings where I can point you out and women can celebrate this whole experience together. So let everybody know where they can find you, how they can get in touch with you if this is an experience they want for themselves.
00:25:09:05 - 00:25:14:12
Yeah, which is a fun Instagram. I love what you guys are doing on social. It's great. It really is.
00:25:14:18 - 00:25:21:13
sometimes I'm like, I feel like I'm in the room with some of the women as they're picking and I'm like, oh, which one would I pick? It's really it's
00:25:21:13 - 00:25:29:10
really.
00:25:29:11 - 00:25:33:19
Oh how cool.
00:25:33:21 - 00:25:40:15
That is such a fun experience. Oh my gosh. Well, if anybody does that with you guys and I call me, I want to
00:25:40:17 - 00:25:42:21
I'll join everybody. It'll be so much fun.
00:25:42:21 - 00:25:57:23
So we'll put all of your contact information in the show notes. We want everybody to get to Nashville. Me, Amanda and Rachel and me and and see what an experience is like and see the custom jewelry that we are designing for the event itself.
00:25:57:23 - 00:26:07:09
To you ladies are the best. I can't wait to hug you in Nashville. Thank you for being here and I'll see you soon!
00:26:07:11 - 00:26:07:22
Woohoo!
