What if the biggest thing standing between you and the life you want isn’t your body, your habits, or even your circumstances, but the story you keep telling yourself about who you are?

 

In this episode, I’m having a conversation with my good friend Courtney Townley, keynote speaker and author of The Consistency Code. We’re pulling back the curtain on our upcoming From Corset to Crown event, but more importantly, we’re talking about the deeper work women have to do when they’re ready to stop outsourcing their identity and start leading themselves.

 

We get into the stories that feel true simply because we’ve heard them for so long, the difference between doing something from the corset versus the crown, and why taking a risk can be the very thing that builds confidence, self-trust, and a more alive version of your life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Conclusion:

The stories we tell ourselves can become so familiar that we stop questioning them, but too often those statements are not facts. Your identity is not fixed. It is shaped by what you practice. Every time you choose self-leadership, take a risk, try again, or do something that scares you, you are practicing becoming someone new.

 

In This Episode:

00:00 Introduction
03:48 Why we are doing this: our shared perspective
07:33 Redefining health through identity, purpose, and self-leadership
09:27 The power of being in a room with women who are changing the conversation
15:04 Learning to lead yourself while still accepting support
24:07 The “truthiness” stories that keep women stuck
25:53 Why failing forward is part of becoming who you want to be
30:33 What Courtney plans to say at the event
32:01 Why taking off the corset is a daily choice
38:58 The Consistency Code and where to find Courtney Townley

     

Join the BS Club:

https://www.disruptivenutrition.com/bsclub

 

Pre-Order Carrie’s Book, From Corset to Crown!

Get your copy of "From Corset to Crown" and a ton of awesome bonuses to make the learning really stick at: https://www.carrielupoli.com/corsettocrown  

 

Carrie’s From Corset to Crown Live Event in Nashville on October 2-4, 2026: 

The ultimate girls' trip is on! Get your tickets here (special group rate for 2 or more!) https://www.disruptivenutrition.com/liveevent2026

 

Listen to This Episode on Your Favorite Podcast Channel:

Follow and listen on Apple

Follow and listen on Spotify

Subscribe and watch on YouTube

   

Connect with Courtney Townley:

Website

 

Connect with Carrie Lupoli:

Website

Instagram

Podcast Blog

Other Website

Other Related Episodes: 

Looking for more tips to optimize your health? Listen to these episodes:

• Stop Living For Approval And Start Choosing For Yourself
• The Cost Of Abandoning Yourself During Difficult Seasons

 

 

Transcript: 

00:00:00:00 - 00:00:20:02

What are you more afraid of? Are you afraid of taking a risk that might expand your life in ways you never could have imagined? Or are you more afraid of staying stagnant where you are? Hey there. Crown straighteners. Whatever's tightening your corset today. Welcome. You're in the right place, so I want to take you back to my hairbrush.

 

00:00:20:03 - 00:00:43:11

That's where it all started for me. My mom would brush my hair. This curly, crazy hair, dry, big curls, tangles, and me saying, mom, it hurts. And her saying beauty hurts, baby. That was it. That was the moment I learned I wasn't enough as I was. And from there it was a lifetime of adjusting, hustling, sacrificing, earning my worth.

 

00:00:43:12 - 00:01:05:23

If you have a version of that story, you already know what today's episode is all about. I am talking with my good friend Courtney Townley. She is the award winning author of The Consistency Code and The Woman Standing up as our keynote speaker in Nashville at our live event in October. Right after lunch on Saturday, getting a room full of women moving.

 

00:01:05:23 - 00:01:28:12

And what you're going to hear in this episode is our planning conversation that Courtney and I have. It's not really like a polished interview. We get into the stuff most women are quietly carrying and nobody's naming out loud. So you're going to be hearing from us, talking about why you feel like you are doing everything right, and then still feel like you're performing and not where you want to be.

 

00:01:28:13 - 00:01:45:19

Why so many of us spend the first 30 years of our lives or so outsourcing ourselves and shaping who we are around whatever everybody wants us to do, and we don't even notice for doing it. We're going to talk about the fear of walking into a room and being judged, and what she's afraid of by being a keynote I'm afraid of.

 

00:01:45:19 - 00:02:06:10

I'm planning this event. The identity of who you are. Matter so much. And so this little planning session between Courtney and I is going to give you a little bit behind the scenes view of what we're planning for Nashville, why we're doing Nashville, and why you've got to be there. There's a word Courtney and I land on in the conversation.

 

00:02:06:13 - 00:02:30:09

Truthiness for the stories that feel true, but only because you've heard them so many times, not because they're actually true or belong to you. So if you've been arguing about your limitations lately, give yourself a few minutes to argue for your possibility instead. Let's get into it.

 

00:02:30:11 - 00:02:32:03

Well hey there Courtney.

 

00:02:32:03 - 00:02:36:23

I'm so excited that you are here. We are going to do.

 

00:02:37:00 - 00:02:38:10

A different on the podcast.

 

00:02:38:10 - 00:02:39:18

Today because.

 

00:02:39:19 - 00:02:42:22

Courtney Townley is here and she's been on my podcast before.

 

00:02:42:22 - 00:02:43:20

She is the author.

 

00:02:43:20 - 00:03:17:16

Of one of my favorite books in the whole wide world, look, consistency, Code. And Courtney and I are planning out our live event in Nashville. So October 2nd through fourth. Courtney is the keynote speaker for a three day live, interactive, immersive experience for women to truly learn how to be the healthiest version of themselves. And so Courtney and I were like, well, why don't we just, like, do a behind the scenes kind of experience on what we're going to do at this event?

 

00:03:17:17 - 00:03:44:00

Because Courtney has so many mic drop moments and you and I will do this over the phone sometimes, and I think it's just going to be fun to do this so people can hear the inner workings of our brain. Yeah, and it is. It's so nice, right? It's so nice to have someone to that. I feel like our work is so synergistic, and it's just nice to be able to play off of that with each other, because I don't think a lot of the wellness industry speaks to wellness in the way that we do.

 

00:03:44:01 - 00:04:08:04

And so it's it's fun. It's great. I love it so much. And so, like the reason I wanted you as our keynote speaker, and I love that you said that our work is so synergistic. So we're both like your health coach. I'm a nutritionist, like we both were. You I mean, women and like food and all that. We know that stuff, right?

 

00:04:08:05 - 00:04:42:20

And we've taught that. We've coached that. But you and I have both realized that, like, the health coaching thing was a doorway to a bigger situation that's going on for women. The situation that most people don't talk about out loud. And I think that's one of the things that attracted me to you so much, was that it was like you have this perspective that needs to be heard by women who keep chasing something that's actually not the thing they really want.

 

00:04:42:21 - 00:05:03:17

And the way that you lay it all out in the consistency code is so fabulous. And with what I talk about, like, yes, I teach women how to eat. Yes, that's part of the work that I do as a nutritionist. But it's like that's really that's the easy part. It's really about you call it base camp. It's really about knowing who you are and identity.

 

00:05:03:18 - 00:05:24:07

You use the word self leadership all the time. So that's what this whole event is going to be about, going from the corset of that pressure that was bestowed upon us when we were young. I remember it was when my I think I got the corset put on me when my mom would brush my hair like dry, curly big hair, and she would brush it and I'd be like, mom, it hurts.

 

00:05:24:07 - 00:05:47:01

And she's like, beauty hurts, baby, right? And so it was like, that's when I first realized I wasn't enough as I was. And it was a lifelong truth that I had to keep adjusting and hustling and self-sacrificing and doing all the things to be accepted. And of course, it's a crown. The event is really all around understanding that we already have value, we already have worth, and we have to really think about what we want, why we want it.

 

00:05:47:01 - 00:06:10:11

And so you getting into that space with me is really about, I think, the passage like taking off the corset and straightening your crown. There's just this place in the middle that has to happen in that journey in that. And that's what I want you to talk about during this keynote. So that's what I want us to talk about and how the heck you're going to do that.

 

00:06:10:12 - 00:06:28:15

Yeah. Well, I love I love you that you brought up that I teach base camp because I think that in some sense you use the terminology corset to crown. And I often talk about like base camp to summiting our lives. And base camp is really it's the things that the health industry loves to focus on, right. Which is like the mechanics of physiology.

 

00:06:28:16 - 00:06:49:19

Like we need to move our bodies, we need to get enough sleep at night. We need to eat food that our body recognizes as food. We need to understand our hormones to some degree, especially as midlife women like. These are all things that help us acclimate for the climb that we are actually here to do. We are not here to obsess about our bodies for all of eternity.

 

00:06:49:20 - 00:07:14:05

We are not here to spend all of our precious life resources micromanaging every dimension of our physiology. We're here to cause things and contribute to things and inspire big ideas. And we can't do that if we feel subpar, right? Mentally, emotionally, physically. And so I think that it's not that we got the conversation horribly wrong, although I do think there are bits of it that we definitely need to edit.

 

00:07:14:06 - 00:07:44:13

Yeah, it's just that we weren't giving women enough of a conversation. It's like we were giving them this tiny little box to cram health into. And health deserves so much more than that tiny box. It demands more than that tiny box. Actually, that's a really good point. I think we need to set that foundation straight, and I think that this is going to be something like, in the event we really have to make sure people see and hear is the idea of what health is, and you define it so well in your book.

 

00:07:44:15 - 00:08:01:05

Yeah. Well, I define it as a lot of things. And I think that that's, you know, when people ask me, you know, where, where do I start? Like where do I start with this? Like different way of approaching health. And the very first thing I always recommend is defined for yourself what it even is at this age and stage of life.

 

00:08:01:06 - 00:08:27:07

Because most of us just adopted this conditioning, we just adopted these beliefs. We borrowed beliefs from the world around us our mothers, our teachers, other women, the media. Baby, right? Yeah. So I know for me, I didn't really pause to ask myself what health was until I was at the bottom, like in a deep valley. And I knew that I was doing all the things that culture and the wellness industry was telling me to do.

 

00:08:27:07 - 00:08:44:04

But I knew that I was such a far cry from health, and so it forced me to have that reckoning. And when I really started looking at what health meant to me, I was like, oh, well, if this is what it means, I'm not honoring it at all. Like I'm only hyper focused on the physical component of it.

 

00:08:44:04 - 00:09:05:22

But health is and you know, I will qualify that. I like to really emphasize the deep health model, like deep health is really this exercise in learning to like who you are, what you do, and why you do what you do. And from the outside, no coach, teacher, mentor, guru can really see that. I don't know why you do what you do.

 

00:09:05:23 - 00:09:16:09

You could be exercising every day three times a day. Well, but I don't know why you're doing it. And if it's coming from a really self-destructive place that's not healthy, it's not health.

 

00:09:16:09 - 00:09:36:22

And that's why I say, like, you could have 20 people at the gym, some people coming from the course, other people coming from the crowd, they could look, the behaviors could look the same, which is why that introspection is so important. It's why I'm so excited that these women are going to be in the room with us, because we're going to see their faces, like how many times you online teaching and all of that.

 

00:09:36:22 - 00:09:44:12

And it's like, not the space where you're actually feeling each other's energy, feeling their energy, and then able to respond, we're going to be able to do that.

 

00:09:44:12 - 00:10:11:02

So true. And the space you're creating to I think it's such an incubator of normalizing. Like that's the beauty of it is we're in a room, not just with other women who are kind of rumbling with the same things, but we're normalizing hard things. And I don't know that people really understand the value of that until they're in that room, because I hear that a lot right from the women that I work with that it's like, yes, the education is great and yes, the the shifting of the mindset.

 

00:10:11:02 - 00:10:31:19

All of that is really powerful. But being with women who are trying to shift the dynamic in their own relationship with their own health, but also because they want to lead younger women in a different way, right. Like there's a normalizing that happens that is just it's so powerful and you really have to be in the room to experience it.

 

00:10:31:20 - 00:10:33:07

Yeah, I totally agree.

 

00:10:33:09 - 00:10:54:03

It's funny because I was just speaking yesterday and I asked after I talked a lot about health and prioritizing it and why it's important about what's a bigger priority in your life other than health. Like how can you justify anything else being a higher priority? And somebody actually commented and she said, well, maybe mental health and I and it right there, it hit me.

 

00:10:54:04 - 00:11:13:13

We just divide out like we think health to your point is this physical thing and that mental health is different from what is different. Right. And what I'm hoping we're both able to do at this event is help them see the healthiest version of you has to take into consideration all these pieces. It's all health.

 

00:11:13:13 - 00:11:32:21

Because health is so multidimensional. It is so many things contributing to your health ecosystem. It's not diet and exercise, it's a million other things on top of that. And we have to look at the whole human, not just what they're putting in their mouth and how many steps they're taking in the day.

 

00:11:32:22 - 00:11:49:02

Oh, exactly. Because to your point, it really is about like, what do you want? Why do you want it? And I mean, like the amount of notes I have in your book is so funny because I'm like, yes, yes, yes and yes. And that's where, like, so much of what we talk about is so similar in yet different.

 

00:11:49:04 - 00:12:12:00

But I think this piece around like, yes, we can teach all these strategies and all this stuff around food in our bodies and stuff. But to your point, why we're doing it matter. So this framework that we're going to be teaching is around going from the corset to being able to straighten your own crown. It's that two part.

 

00:12:12:01 - 00:12:34:03

Right. So we have to recognize the corset and what's there. And we have to have strategies that allow us to know our worth. Right. Self-love, self leadership. Self-worth. It's the stuff we do, whether it's a certain way or move our body in a certain way. All has to come from the crown. But there's got to be this transition that takes us from corset to crown.

 

00:12:34:03 - 00:12:56:09

And so the thing that I'm thinking about for your keynote that we need to plan for is, I think your message sits in the two in the space getting ready. We recognize the corset. And then I know that there are these strategies that I can do to become healthier when doing it from the Crown, but like, how do I get over that bridge?

 

00:12:56:13 - 00:13:02:11

Right. That centering space and like, that's that's your messaging, don't you think? Yeah.

 

00:13:02:12 - 00:13:25:05

And it's my favorite conversation because it's the reckoning, right? The reckoning is I like that it is you really having a radically honest conversation and asking radically yourself question to yourself about yourself, about what we were just talking about why you do what you do right, the things that you're really proud of and the things that you're not proud of.

 

00:13:25:05 - 00:13:46:17

What is the motivator behind that? Because a lot of us are moving through the world. I talk about this a lot in the book about we're always outsourcing, and I am the queen of outsourcing. Like, I feel like I lived the first 30 years of my life doing everything to appease everyone, because I grew up in the dance world, and it was always about getting the role and pressing the choreographer, you know, getting the next thing.

 

00:13:46:21 - 00:13:54:16

It was never it kind of took away my almost my love of it, because I started doing it for reasons that were no longer mine. Well.

 

00:13:54:16 - 00:14:05:13

Does it also confuse you in terms of like, who who am I? Because I'm this person here and I'm this person there, and that takes this like. But wait a minute. Who am I? Yes, yes.

 

00:14:05:14 - 00:14:23:11

And what do I want? What do I want? Because life changes. And by the time we cross that threshold of midlife, number one, we're standing face to face with mortality, right? Because we realize we have so many years left if we're lucky enough to get those. Because that's not guaranteed. Right? And we also I always, I always call midlife the renovation years.

 

00:14:23:11 - 00:14:44:00

But I also could call it the reckoning years, because you get to stand in your life and look at the things that you have built and you're so proud of many of those things, and you also start to realize what it costs you to build certain things that aren't fulfilling you, perhaps in the way that you thought they would say.

 

00:14:44:01 - 00:15:00:18

And when we can start answering some really honest conversations about that, what happens when we start getting some resources back? We start getting energy back. We start getting creativity back. We start feeling that we have the capacity to do the things that our crown is asking of us. Yeah. You know, and it's.

 

00:15:00:21 - 00:15:02:02

Sometimes, as you say, no.

 

00:15:02:03 - 00:15:26:05

Yeah, right. It's it's I think it's why I'm so passionate about the self leadership conversation. And I'm always so clear, like self leadership does not by any stretch mean that you won't work with the helpers and the healers of the world, people like us. Yeah. It just means that you're working with people, the helpers and the healers so that you have you totally own your agency, right?

 

00:15:26:05 - 00:15:36:09

You totally own your power. And you, you, you like your reasons. And you also know that eventually you're going to be able to kind of lead your own way, because that's really the objective.

 

00:15:36:11 - 00:15:56:10

Well, howdy, let's go out on trip together, shall we? How about Nashville, Tennessee? October 2nd through the fourth? I am bringing my concept, my approach and my heart to you in Nashville with my live event, from Corset to Crown. It's going to be three days of being in person with all sorts of amazing speakers. But here's what's really going to happen Friday.

 

00:15:56:10 - 00:16:16:17

You're going to show up where in the course we all will, and that's right where you're supposed to be, because we're going to start to recognize all the things that are just keeping us stuck. We're going to name them, we're going to sign a peace treaty with ourselves. And then on Saturday, I'm going to disrupt everything you've been told about weight loss, confidence and self-worth and a room full of women doing the same hard, honest, amazing work.

 

00:16:16:17 - 00:16:40:17

I'm going to teach you the last nutritional advice you will ever need. I'm going to teach you the tools I use with my clients and the things that have worked with tens of thousands of women. And then on Sunday, we're going to get real and dig in and bring it all together with true centeredness, self-love, empowerment. I cannot wait for you not just to be inspired, but to learn so much information and leave with a complete and total transformation.

 

00:16:40:17 - 00:16:59:22

So for a limited time, I am offering our general admission ticket for $50 off. We've already sold out a platinum and VIP, but every single person in that room I'm going to hug, I'm going to greet. It's going to be incredible. So go get your ticket now. I can't wait to see you in Nashville.

 

00:17:00:00 - 00:17:11:02

It's so interesting. You're actually just sparking something in me I never have thought before about being a self leader, right? Like self leadership being so important and equating it to not needing support.

 

00:17:11:03 - 00:17:14:02

A lot of people do. And I think that's a fake. Yeah, yeah.

 

00:17:14:03 - 00:17:34:13

Because you can't see the label from inside the jar. You have coaches, I have coaches. But like it's like I always say we would never lead our team the way we lead ourselves. And as a leader, we don't pretend to know it all. But we respect the the people in front of us know where we're going, why we're going there.

 

00:17:34:14 - 00:17:48:00

Like if you lead a team or a family or whatever it is. But we don't do that for ourselves. But it's interesting to think that if I actually adopted a leadership approach with myself, that would equal not needing help anymore.

 

00:17:48:00 - 00:18:08:12

Yes. And it's so important that I think we we do stress that, like even in this event, that it's because I think so often we do need people walking alongside of us to see ourselves more clearly. Right. Because I always say that, you know, ultimately my job is to talk myself out of a job, you know, to work my way out of a job.

 

00:18:08:12 - 00:18:23:02

I want to coach people so well that they start coaching themselves. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the thing is, we're just we're just giving them the tools and the questions and the the skill sets. So eventually it's like we can set them free and they just keep going, you know?

 

00:18:23:02 - 00:18:46:00

And that's why I think we need this event for three days of really like establishing muscle memory on when life quakes happen. Right. When life throws curveballs that we question, when we question ourselves, that we know how to get back to ourselves. And I don't think one zoom call, one webinar, one virtual experience is going to make it.

 

00:18:46:00 - 00:18:56:00

I really just feel like we got to be in the room, like being able to be near each other and actually transfer energy in some ways from one to another.

 

00:18:56:02 - 00:19:11:01

And again, it's like, I think that event you're creating it, it is an incubator of just realizing that there is a different way. And to have women who are some of them are going to be a little further ahead than you, and some of them are going to be a little bit behind you. And that's the beauty of the community.

 

00:19:11:03 - 00:19:34:09

But to be in a room of women who are approaching health in a different way and having deeper conversations around what it really means to be healthy, yes, you will leave with this level of devotion and dedication that I think would be hard to acquire in other ways if you hadn't been exposed to that. And then, of course, you get to deepen your work because there is work once you leave.

 

00:19:34:11 - 00:19:59:08

And yes, exactly. It is going to be a little bit like lunch. So what do you say to the woman? Because I've heard this, that is so afraid to be in the room. It's actually being in the room that is really scary. Afraid of being judged, afraid of not being as far as long as she, quote unquote, should be in her own belief system in terms of like maybe how long she was working with me or how long she's been working with you and how stuck she still feels.

 

00:19:59:08 - 00:20:05:08

And so being in the room brings it all out. And that is very scary.

 

00:20:05:09 - 00:20:20:17

I would say two things to her. The first thing is, a lot of times when I'm coaching a woman, I will hear her arguing for her limitations, which is what I heard you just saying, right? I'm arguing for I'm going to be judged and I'm going to feel like I'm so behind all these people. And you know what?

 

00:20:20:17 - 00:20:42:01

Arguing for limitation is always available to you. But so is argument. Yeah, so is arguing for possibility and so possibility. This is this is what I would encourage that woman to ask yourself or not even ask herself. But but kind of start a different conversation. It might be possible that it might be possible that I'm not judged, and that I'm actually feeling more authentic than I've felt in a really long time in this room.

 

00:20:42:01 - 00:21:01:13

It might be possible that being in that room is exactly where I need to be. I see it might be possible that I make friends and connections that can help me to get to where I want to go, that I may not have found in any other way. I mean, we could play this game. We could. We'd have this dialog for hours about what might be possible.

 

00:21:01:13 - 00:21:22:15

And, you know, as soon as you start going with that line of thinking, you want to book your plane ticket, you want to purchase your ticket, you want to buy a ticket for friends because it might be possible. And the other thing I would say to that woman is, what are you more afraid of? Are you afraid of taking a risk that might expand your life in ways you never could have imagined?

 

00:21:22:15 - 00:21:40:03

Or are you more afraid of staying stagnant where you are? Like, what's going to cost you more 5 or 10 years from now? Yes. It's funny, I was talking to a client earlier today that was she's getting ready for this big European trip, and the first part of the trip she booked just for herself, like just a few days on her own.

 

00:21:40:04 - 00:21:57:10

Oh, I love that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's never done that in Europe. And so she's nervous. And I was talking to her about, like, it's great that you're nervous because it says. It says you're doing something adventurous. You're taking a risk. And on the other side of risk, you know what there is there's confidence. There's self trust, there's a liveness.

 

00:21:57:10 - 00:22:09:08

And that is really what we're after. And this event is the same thing. So you know, it's an adventure. It is it is going to definitely give you some aliveness I have no question. Oh my gosh.

 

00:22:09:08 - 00:22:31:18

And that's actually an example of self leadership right. If you're leading others and somebody says the things that are showing that there's these limitations in what they're believing or what they're thinking, you're going to coach them through that as a leader. And if you can recognize the I mean, the possibilities of what could happen, that's a perfect example of self leadership.

 

00:22:31:19 - 00:22:51:09

It's so funny, you get me thinking, because we do this with our kids, right? Like managing the possibilities of what could happen. How many parents put their kids in, like my nephews are in like all the baseball, right. And they do all like all the travel teams, all the things, because there's a possibility they can play ball professionally.

 

00:22:51:11 - 00:23:08:23

Right. And they're there. They're like focused on that possibility. They don't want to lose that opportunity if it happens. It's so funny because the chance of any woman coming to this event and actually having all those positives has is very high.

 

00:23:09:03 - 00:23:10:18

It's so high. Honestly, it.

 

00:23:10:18 - 00:23:16:06

Was higher than your kid going to the Yankees. But yeah, we do that. You know what I mean right?

 

00:23:16:07 - 00:23:32:10

I mean we and we do. We have so much belief in other people and other people's possibilities, but somehow we deny ourselves that we deny ourselves our own possibility. And I think that if you are nervous to go. I would almost argue that it's a sign. You probably should.

 

00:23:32:11 - 00:23:55:22

I totally agree, because I actually was saying this to some of my clients. I'm like, listen, you could not be coming to Nashville to this event for reasons of the Crown. You have something else going on in your life that you know you need to attend to, and that is your empowered decision to not go. And you can make a decision to not go for reasons from the corset.

 

00:23:56:00 - 00:24:05:11

And if you're honest with yourself, if it's from the corset, that's your sign that you got to book your ticket. Yeah, absolutely.

 

00:24:05:12 - 00:24:29:16

And so often it is like whether it's that we're telling ourselves we're short on time or, you know, it's just it's just not going to make that big of a difference. Like the stories that we tell ourselves. It's often, are those even your stories or are they someone else's? Yeah, that's really interesting when you think about the stories, because I feel like when we go from corset to crown, we have to actually listen to them and decide if they actually are ours.

 

00:24:29:16 - 00:24:50:10

But I feel like the voice has been so rampant in so many of us and so many women that they think the voice is there. Them? Yes, it's they think I call it truthiness. Yeah. Truthiness I love it. Well, it's kind of like when a woman says this is just who I am, like, I. Yeah, I'm just not an athlete.

 

00:24:50:10 - 00:25:05:20

I just don't go to the gym. I just don't like to lift weights. I don't eat vegetables. Right? Like, we could go on and on, like we have these declarations and these convictions about who we are, where. And the thing that I love to point out is who you are is really a practice of what you've been doing repeatedly.

 

00:25:05:21 - 00:25:25:14

Oh my gosh. Say that again. Yeah. So who we are. Like our identity is shaped by what we do repeatedly. Okay, okay. You're going to have to say that you have to say that in Nashville. Yeah. So really good for a limitation. And it feels very true. It feels true. Like I just I'm just not somebody who would ever go to the gym.

 

00:25:25:14 - 00:25:50:03

No. You just haven't been someone who goes to the gym yet. That's it. You just haven't practiced that. And you know what? When we start a new practice, it's so uncomfortable because we're awkward and we don't know what we're doing, and it's. It's messy and it's all the things. But when you're in a room of women who are all committed to leaning into that kind of work, it almost gets exciting, right?

 

00:25:50:03 - 00:26:11:23

Because you're watching one around, you kind of fumble. I always say it's like we're there are things worth failing for. What are the things in your life worth failing for? Well, it's worth me failing as a parent because I love my kid. You know, I, I don't try to fail, but I'm going to make mistakes. I'm a big mover and I fail at movement all the time, which is how I actually get better.

 

00:26:12:00 - 00:26:31:10

And so if you're someone who is, you know, thinking about this event or thinking even about your health journey as well, I could fail. Yeah, you could, and you probably will some days. But isn't it worth it? Isn't it worth to fail forward? Because that's really what you're doing and we're all doing it together in this room during this weekend that you're.

 

00:26:31:15 - 00:26:32:04

I saw.

 

00:26:32:04 - 00:26:50:21

 

A meme or something on social media, and it was two bulls eyes with arrows, and the one on the left said success. I think it was. And the one on the right said failure. It was something like that. But anyway, it was the bulls eye on the left. None of it hit the bull's eye. It was just like it was.

 

00:26:50:22 - 00:27:07:20

 

There were like 20 arrows all on the bullseye, but not in the middle. Right. It just was all around it. But then there was one with nothing. Nothing on it at all. And it was just sort of the message of like, you didn't even take a shot, right? You can't possibly hit the bull's eye when you don't even shoot the arrow.

 

00:27:07:21 - 00:27:13:21

Exactly. And you're going to miss a whole bunch of times. But every single time you miss, you're getting closer to the center. It's so true.

 

00:27:13:21 - 00:27:17:16

And it almost makes a success sweeter when you find yes. Get it? Because you're.

 

00:27:17:16 - 00:27:20:02

Like, oh.I rumbled so hard.

 

00:27:20:02 - 00:27:24:05

For this and I failed so many times for this. I mean, we know that's why I'm.

 

00:27:24:05 - 00:27:44:16

So I'm so against the quote unquote quick fix, which I've now renamed the quick false ego boost, because it's like, especially when we talk about like, weight loss drugs and things like that, because what I want women to do is be able to have the experience to learn how to lead themselves. You can't learn to lead yourself by taking a helicopter to the top of the mountain.

 

00:27:44:17 - 00:28:09:14

You've actually got to do the hike and the hikes. Hikes are beautiful, hikes are empowering, and you become so proud of yourself when you learn who you are and you're not focused on simply what you look like, right? The the benefits of like being a healthy body will come physically, but that's not the focus. You become super healthy from the inside out, not the other way around.

 

00:28:09:15 - 00:28:28:04

Yeah, it's when we skip the work, it's like we skip that whole becoming. And the becoming is where the real fortification and the real sustainability comes from. And so when we skip that work, it's like we can get to the summit, but it does not have the same effect. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And we've, we've all we all know people who have done that.

 

00:28:28:04 - 00:28:49:09

And it's like yeah it's still they still feel flat. They're still unsatisfied. They're still, you know, not feeling fulfilled. Right. And I think it's like natural like I talk about the Miley Cyrus like that song will be playing Miley Cyrus song climb. Yeah. Because it's like there will always be another mountain we want to climb, but we want we need to climb the first mountain.

 

00:28:49:09 - 00:29:06:00

And then naturally, we will want to up level. But it's like when we just try to get there the quick way, the fast way. We never actually learned how to climb, so we don't even we feel unfulfilled because we don't think there's any other place for us to go. And naturally, as humans, we want to take the next level.

 

00:29:06:04 - 00:29:24:16

Yeah, and you can only do it if you've actually been, you know, doing the climb. So I think the other mistake we make is we climb mountains that someone else told us to climb, but it's not climb. Right. So I spent all this work and all this time and energy summiting these mountains, and I get up there and I'm like, still not the place.

 

00:29:24:17 - 00:29:43:15

It's not the place I wanted to be. And so it's like deciding what mountains you want to climb. I think that's a part of that space between the corset and the crown is like really deciding, what do you want to go after? Because that's the beauty of your life, living in this area, like this time frame in this era, like you have a lot of choice in the mountains you get to climb.

 

00:29:43:15 - 00:30:03:04

What a privilege. Yeah, that's the intentional about that. Yeah. I think the corset has blind us from realizing that there's even those choices out there. Yeah, right. So so all right, let's just get into it for a couple of minutes. How are you planning out your keynote? Like, what? Did I do it? I know that you're talking on Saturday.

 

00:30:03:04 - 00:30:33:00

I'm so excited. You're going to you're going to be right after lunch. We're going to get people, like, excited and moving. We're definitely moving. How do you plan this out? Like what is your what is your goal? What are you hoping people are going to just feel think, do? I think for me it's always like I always think of like, you know, the keynotes that I've witnessed that have been so powerful and it's always typically it's it's someone who really made me think in a different way about whatever the subject was.

 

00:30:33:01 - 00:30:54:02

And so I'm definitely going to be challenging some ideas that I think feel just so normalized. And so it's almost like just standard fare. Like people aren't challenging these ideas in the wellness industry. So I'm definitely going to go hard on that. It's like, you know, when a comedian says something really funny because you know, it's true and you haven't really thought of it that way before.

 

00:30:54:08 - 00:31:19:06

I don't picture you up there like a comedian, but like, really these truths that I have felt to truthiness that is felt true. Yeah. I think that's going to be super exciting. Yeah. And really helping women to own their agency. Right. Like step into that space of self leadership. Okay. Yeah. Because there is again, there's so much outsourcing that we could do looking outside of ourselves for that.

 

00:31:19:06 - 00:31:39:00

And I'm really going to be spending a lot of time about what your role is in all of this, like in terms of being able to access your agency and being able to amplify it and being able to direct it towards the mountains that you actually want to climb. Like, what does that really look like in tangible ways?

 

00:31:39:01 - 00:31:51:00

Like, and I mean, when I say tangible ways, I mean as a daily practice, like, what are the things that we can actually be doing on repeat every day that help us to stay in that space?

 

00:31:51:04 - 00:32:15:05

That's so important? Courtney. Because that is what when we talk about the corset to Crown framework that we're going to introduce at the event, that we're going to literally show people. Like, I literally I went to Nashville last week to go like just meet business owners and talk about the event. And I had to take off the corset every single day of anxiety and nerves to walk into a random business cold and have them listen to me.

 

00:32:15:07 - 00:32:23:03

The act of the corset is, or the corset being on us is something that it's like. Once we take it off, it doesn't stay off. It's a daily act.

 

00:32:23:06 - 00:32:24:01

So true.

 

00:32:24:02 - 00:32:54:08

Of recognizing that it shows up. It will continue to show up. It's like sweeping sand a little bit in the ocean. And yet the more and more we do it, the less and less it binds us. But if we don't actually walk people through this physically, emotionally and over a period of time, because what happens when you do a one hour coaching session with someone or a one hour coaching call or a webinar, it's like, then we all just move on to the next part of our lives, right?

 

00:32:54:09 - 00:32:59:18

And to be immersive means you're actually going to. I joke that it's like going to the library. Like, remember when we.

 

00:32:59:18 - 00:33:22:20

Were in school and we had to go to the library with a yellow legal pad and look things up in a card catalog? Oh, yeah. And like, we didn't have a computer. I had to type my stuff in a typewriter. I can still remember the papers I wrote in college 30 years ago, because I actually had to go in deep and look things up, and I feel like that's what these three days are going to be like, going to the library with a yellow legal pad.

 

00:33:22:21 - 00:33:42:19

If I can still remember the papers I wrote 30 years ago. This is an experience that we would take with us forever. And that's just it, right? Because health is something that we will be traveling hopefully in the direction of forever or not. But it's it's lifelong work. It's not something that starts and stops. Yeah. You reach the pinnacle and then, oh, I get to take my foot off the gas pedal.

 

00:33:42:19 - 00:34:02:19

That's not how it works. Yeah. And I love what you said about the corset. Like always, you always have to do the work of fastening it, like, daily, because you're going to have so much opportunity for the corset to come back. And this just aligns with neuroplasticity, right? Our habits don't actually just disappear in our brain. You know, pathways don't just completely get eliminated.

 

00:34:02:20 - 00:34:20:12

They just get weaker. And that's what how we look at the corset is the more I practice self leadership, the more I practice the crown, the weaker the corset deaths. And pretty soon, like the straps just don't tie so well and it doesn't even fit on our body, you know, like it used to. And and that's a beautiful thing.

 

00:34:20:12 - 00:34:40:06

We don't pivot back to it so quickly and, and that the tangible daily practice things is where that new identity gets fortified. And so it's one thing to come to the event of course, always and get inspired and get these tools and have these conversations and get things normalized. And the work of your life is going to happen when you go home.

 

00:34:40:06 - 00:35:03:18

And we want to make sure that you pack all of these tools in your suitcase so you can start that work. Oh yes, I love the way you just said that. It's so, so, so powerful. All right. Well, this is a this is a question I actually want to know for myself so I can support you. But also, I think it would be really interesting for people to hear from a woman who, you know, I love it because you and I, people will say this to us.

 

00:35:03:19 - 00:35:21:00

It seems like you guys have it all together and like you and I. Yeah, I was like five minutes late for us to even do this today because I was running around like crazy. So we're all, we're it's all we're all working on this all the time. So let's give Courtney a chance to be vulnerable a little bit.

 

00:35:21:00 - 00:35:38:12

And what are you nervous about? What do you, you know, have a little bit of like, I don't know, it could be corset baring fear or just nerves because so many women are going to be nervous about being in the room together, but you're going to be standing up on stage always talking to these women. Right. And so what are you nervous about?

 

00:35:38:13 - 00:35:56:04

Well, I always say like new level, new devil. Right. So every time we elevator, I say like new ceiling, new floor. Like, if it's a next floor. Yeah, yeah. So anytime we are being vulnerable, we have that opportunity to go into the limiting beliefs and putting the corset back on and getting ourselves all worked up into a lather.

 

00:35:56:04 - 00:36:19:14

And I think my biggest fear is always that I want to be as impactful as possible. Right. That's always my I just want people to leave and feel like, oh, that was just so, so worth it and so memorable. And I wasn't just inspired, but I really feel like I understand now why this wasn't working. And that is just a it's a tall order to step into, right?

 

00:36:19:15 - 00:36:41:04

To make sure that we all only have so much time to talk, and we only have a few days, and there's so much knowledge coming into this room. Right? Years, decades of experience from some really incredible people and curating it, and especially curating my piece of it to make sure that it just fits properly. And it leaves the biggest mark on people.

 

00:36:41:07 - 00:36:48:08

That's always where my fear is, and always public speaking is always going to be a.

 

00:36:48:10 - 00:37:13:05

Nerve wracking experience because crazy things can happen. Lots of crazy things have happened for sure. And but I think also I have learned and I think aging does this to us, to where you just keep going, you know, like we flub up and that's life, or we trip or the sound or the mic doesn't work like these things happen and it's not a problem unless we make it a problem.

 

00:37:13:07 - 00:37:30:21

If you trip on stage, I will come pick you up. Right up. You will not. I know I'm in good health, not have to worry about that, but I think you make a really good. I love that the new level. Would you say next level is a double? Double? Yeah. So when you get to a new level, there's a new double waiting for you in terms of why you can't, why you don't belong here.

 

00:37:31:00 - 00:37:54:00

Yeah, well, this whole event was that for me. I was like, I am not doing this. This is just too hard. What if people don't come? What if it's not good? Like, I literally talked myself for years. I was like, we're not doing this. And then last year, it was July 2025, and I was with my marketing director, and she's like, if you don't want to do the event, that's fine, but why do you not want to do the event?

 

00:37:54:04 - 00:38:18:00

And is it because this just isn't something you want to spend your capacity on? Or are you telling yourself a story that is justifying not doing it? And I'm like, yeah, that's what it is. Yeah, I was justifying it in some sort of level of, you know, truth. That was fear. And so for me, it is literally this whole darn thing, no doubt.

 

00:38:18:01 - 00:38:36:08

I mean, but honestly, you're leading from the front because all of us who are participating, your clients, your coaches, all the women who have yet to be a client, you're leading from the front, right, like you're stepping into scary, which is giving other women to step into their scary. And I think that that is we always need those women in our life.

 

00:38:36:08 - 00:38:56:10

And so I think it's I love that I think each one of us in this event, whether you're just going to the event and you're scared to go, whether you're speaking at the event and it's scary to speak or whether you're running the whole darn thing and you're scared to be that there's a level of, we're every single one of us are up leveling, we're up leveling this this time.

 

00:38:56:10 - 00:39:15:18

So I'm so excited. All right, tell everybody where they can find you, where they can get your amazing book. Because if they come to the event, there'll be books available there. But if they have your book, you can sign it. And it's just going to be so wonderful. Yeah. The best place is Grace and grit, my website, my book is The Consistency Code, which they can find on on all bookselling platforms online.

 

00:39:15:19 - 00:39:32:09

There's an audiobook version, but those are really the best places, which we were just talking about the audiobook, because I'm just reading my audiobook right now and I'm like, oh, I have a new appreciation for the audiobooks because I'm so glad you read it, because people are used to hearing you on your podcast, and it's going to be it's just going to be awesome.

 

00:39:32:09 - 00:39:53:16

And so, yeah, and you read yours too. So like I just love that so much. Okay. So Nashville October 2nd through fourth. And if, if you know Courtney, just reach out to her because she's got a special little discount for everyone that knows her for sure that wants to come to Nashville. And so I am I am so excited.

 

00:39:53:16 - 00:40:12:02

Thank you for being in here. I'm glad everybody got a little insight as to what it's going to be like, but I can't wait to introduce yourself. Well, I can't wait to be there and share the space with you. And thanks for the invite. Oh my gosh. Anytime. All right everybody. Don't forget if it's it's time to straighten your crown so that you can start in other crowns too, because that's what we are Crown straighteners around here.