How often do you wake up already overwhelmed by everything you need to do? The list starts before your feet even hit the floor: work, kids, appointments, errands, exercise, meals, messages, and somewhere at the bottom of that endless list is you.

The problem is not about having more time. Overwhelm happens when you don't prioritize intentional time with yourself. In this episode, I discuss the difference between operating from the corset (conditioning, comparison, chaos, and old beliefs) and operating from the crown of self-awareness, self-leadership, self-worth, and intentional choices.

I also share a simple morning practice to help you stop living on autopilot. It's built around three parts: gratitude, new learning, and reflection & planning.

You don't need hours or another complicated routine. What you need is a few minutes to slow down and think about your thinking, understand why you're behaving the way you are, and decide how you want to show up.

Conclusion:

You don't need to completely disrupt your life to transform it. Sometimes the most powerful change starts with a few quiet minutes before the world gets your attention. Pause. Get grounded. Learn something new. Reflect. Plan. Have that daily staff meeting with yourself.

In This Episode:

00:00 Introduction: Why quick fixes don't create lasting success

05:45 Nutrition is the doorway, identity is the destination

08:07 Why your brain keeps you stuck

10:38 The difference between the corset and the crown

18:03 Self-consciousness vs. self-awareness

22:37 Why every behavior has a function

25:36 The power of morning time

29:44 Three parts to Carrie's morning time routine

38:06 A daily staff meeting with yourself

Rise and Shine Morning Time Guide:

https://www.carrielupoli.com/morning

Join the BS Club:

https://www.disruptivenutrition.com/bsclub

Pre-Order Carrie’s Book, From Corset to Crown!

Get your copy of "From Corset to Crown" and a ton of awesome bonuses to make the learning really stick at: https://www.carrielupoli.com/corsettocrown  

Listen to This Episode on Your Favorite Podcast Channel:

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Other Related Episodes: 

Looking for more tips to optimize your health? Listen to these episodes:

• Why You Keep Going Back to Old Habits and How to Make Change Finally Stick
• You Don’t Need To Fix Your Body To Be Worthy

Transcript: 

[00:00:00] Carrie Lupoli: I just need to lose 25 pounds. I just need the kids to get a little bit older. I just need to make a little bit more money. I just need a few less things on my plate and maybe finally breathe. Have you ever noticed that word just? It sounds so small, like insignificant, but it's actually not small at all.

[00:00:19] Carrie Lupoli: It is the sound of somebody running on fumes, bargaining with life, hoping that if just one thing would change, the chaos would finally let up. Maybe you woke up already behind today. Maybe you've been saying just for so long that you don't even hear yourself saying it anymore. If that's you, stick around, because in today's episode, we are gonna talk about what that word is actually costing you.

[00:00:48] Carrie Lupoli: Well, hey there, Crown Straighteners. Whatever is tightening your corset today, you're in the right place, 'cause we're going to work to take that corset off and replace it with a crown. But in all reality, you don't even have to [00:01:00] replace it, because the crown is already there. We were born with the crown.

[00:01:03] Carrie Lupoli: We're born worthy. Think about it, a baby, the minute a baby's born, is worthy. You were that baby once. But something along the way has convinced us that we have to earn our worth, that we aren't good enough the way we are, and we have to over-perform, we have to self-sacrifice, we have to look a certain way, all sorts of things in order for us to have value.

[00:01:23] Carrie Lupoli: Well, it's just not true. You have the crown. It's probably just tangled up in your hair, and you haven't seen it for a while. So Go find it, straighten it up, and join me today because today's conversation I am excited about. I haven't done a solo podcast in a little bit because I've had a lot of amazing guests on, but this podcast has always been a com- kind of like a, a compilation.

[00:01:47] Carrie Lupoli: I, I know that when you're running a podcast and it's always around having guests, sometimes you're just like, "I'll take whoever I can get." Because it's not easy to find the highest quality people, and I'm [00:02:00] very, very picky with who I bring on my podcast. But also because my podcast is a, is a chance for me to be able to have some sort of long form ability to communicate with you the message that is so close to my heart, the, the ways that I have taught tens of thousands of women to truly become the healthiest version of themselves, to disrupt everything we've been told about weight loss, about confidence, about self-worth.

[00:02:24] Carrie Lupoli: 'Cause the women that come to me, they feel broken, they feel lost, they feel like they don't even know who they are anymore, and yet everything around them keeps telling them, "Well, you gotta go on a diet." Like diet culture, it's just like you gotta lose weight and then you're gonna find this magical pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and we know it's just not true.

[00:02:43] Carrie Lupoli: So I also created this podcast more than six years ago to be able to give you a comprehensive explanation of a variety of ways that we can show up for ourselves differently than we've ever been told before. I despise the [00:03:00] requirement of social media to be as concise, as fast, as articulate as possible because it's just, like, impossible.

[00:03:08] Carrie Lupoli: It's the thing that's always stressed me out about social media. You have three seconds to hook somebody, and you have to get them right away, so very often people say very controversial things, and you have to say it so fast, and we never get deep. So when I first started this podcast, I was like, "Well, I want the ability to speak to more people than just my clients."

[00:03:26] Carrie Lupoli: I mean, legitimately, we take in my private practice, which is called Disruptive Nutrition, maybe 10 to 15 clients every month, every other month. It's just because I will never sacrifice quality for quantity, and so I can't speak to everybody. But over the past 10 plus years, I've served many, many, many women.

[00:03:46] Carrie Lupoli: But coach, bring on... Literally, I, I, I do a three-day challenge, which I love doing in my private practice, a few times a year, and we bring thousands of women in, and I love teaching them. And this podcast is kind of an [00:04:00] extension of that. It doesn't force me to have a three-second hook. It doesn't force me to throw in a guest just because we need time to fill.

[00:04:07] Carrie Lupoli: I strategically want to be able to share additional pieces of information that I can't do in a webinar or in a three-day challenge so that you all have something that you can hold onto and continue to work towards. This journey of self-discovery is what we're really looking for. We, uh, we think that we need to just go lose weight, and then that's the answer.

[00:04:28] Carrie Lupoli: But the opposite of weight l- gain is not weight loss. It's true deep health, and true deep health comes from the inside out. There's no such thing as a quick fix. It's actually not even a real word. There's no such thing as a quick fix. The word fix is just... I- it infuriates me. It's a lie. It's a lie from the diet industry that has allowed us to feel like there is a solution that's fast and painless.

[00:04:51] Carrie Lupoli: But a solution to what? To your weight gain? Well, then we need to figure out what got you there in the first place, 'cause it isn't just that you have to eat chicken and [00:05:00] kale. It's that food becomes this... It, it's a symbol of so many things, right? Because food is fellowship, food is community, food is tradition, food is also health and fuel, and we've used food to soothe and to cope.

[00:05:15] Carrie Lupoli: We've used food in ways that are not very healthy, and we've villainized food. Food has a lot of power over us. We don't really understand the relationship that we have with food, which is why when someone says, "Just give me a meal plan," I'm like, "Heck no." And if you're ever working with a nutritionist that's like, "Here, eat this, don't eat that," run for the hills because that's not the answer.

[00:05:34] Carrie Lupoli: How we got to the place that we're at that we feel like we need to have reprieve from has to be backwards mapping. We have to actually look at what got us here, and so much of it is around identity. I always say nutrition is the doorway, but identity is the destination. We can't do anything opposite of who we are, and what we think and what we believe all contributes to this identity.

[00:05:56] Carrie Lupoli: So if we identify as a person that's always trying to lose weight, if we [00:06:00] identify as a person who is just feels like she's always behind the eight ball, super chaotic, busy, busy, busy, puts everybody ahead of herself, then that will be the identity that you live And in order to truly have the transformation that I think so many of us want, and it isn't even just about the number on the scale, 'cause when I get deep in with women and I'm just like, "What do you really want and why do you want it?"

[00:06:20] Carrie Lupoli: It, it's a question that almost surprises them. And I wanna tap into that today because with the release of my new book, From Corset to Crown, which I'm super excited about, I have been doing lots of media and lots of podcasts, and I keep getting asked the same question. "Okay, how do you do this? How do you go from corset to crown?

[00:06:43] Carrie Lupoli: W- is this a daily thing? You're saying there's not a quick fix, so what do we do?" So that's what I wanna unpack today, and the one thing that I tell everybody I'm talking to has to be a part of the equation if we truly want to be able to do something that [00:07:00] is sustainable, that is actually pretty simple, that is satisfying, but that will actually make us truly the healthiest version of ourselves.

[00:07:08] Carrie Lupoli: The truth is we're not broken. The truth is we... It's not that we don't have enough willpower. It's not that we're lost. It, it's really truly that we... I, I always say, "I, I'm not here to fix women, I'm here to free them." That's why the quick fix always drives me crazy, 'cause you're not broken, and just as insinuates that we're broken.

[00:07:27] Carrie Lupoli: We have been taught a lot of what I call BS. We have been conditioned to believe certain things that are just not true, which is what I call the corset. And how we operate is really around what system we're operating from. So the corset to crown framework, I think, is one that I want to just really truly establish before I get to the one thing that every single person on media, every podcaster, every potential client is asking me makes the biggest difference.

[00:07:58] Carrie Lupoli: But I can't give you that one [00:08:00] thing until we actually get into the foundational piece of understanding the operation of our brain. So we always do things for a reason, and I think for so many of us, especially today and especially women, we are operating in this, like, CVS receipt to-do list. It's... We've got this list of a million things that we have to do, and we wake up in the morning already overwhelmed and feeling like, "If I could just get this stuff off my list, then I can relax," or, "Then I can have less chaos."

[00:08:31] Carrie Lupoli: And I want you to think about that word just. So if we just can get this stuff off my list, if I just could lose 25 pounds, if I just could have the kids go to daycare, or get and start school again, or go to college, if I could just make a little bit more money in my job, if I could just get the hours reduced or increased.

[00:08:52] Carrie Lupoli: Using the word just tells us that the thing that we want is coming from a place of scarcity. It's coming from a place of [00:09:00] desperation. It's coming out of a place of hopelessness, because we don't feel like we have enough inside of us to be able to handle what's in front of us. Conversely, when we look at what we want, I actually reframe the word want to desire.

[00:09:18] Carrie Lupoli: If you can say instead of, "I just want to lose 25 pounds," you'd frame that with, "I desire," it's amazing how much more specific, intentional, and comprehensive that answer is 'Cause you're not saying, "I, I desire to lose 25 pounds." There's something underneath that that is truly where your heart's desire is, and that's when we get to a why that matters.

[00:09:45] Carrie Lupoli: I desire peace and more balance. I desire clarity. I desire joy. Those are things that are coming from a knowledge that they're there and, and we can see them, as opposed to the scarcity of, "I just, I [00:10:00] just wanna be happy." The way that we talk, the way that we talk to ourselves, and then what we, uh, eventually then say and do in front of others is all a result of our thinking, but also this corset to crown framework really helps to solidify where it's coming from.

[00:10:16] Carrie Lupoli: So let me give you an example. We can have multiple people at the gym, right? And some people are there for very unhealthy reasons, and others are there for healthy reasons. What's the difference? Because we use this word health, and it means so many different things, and we have to unpack that. But it's really...

[00:10:35] Carrie Lupoli: Like, we're not changing the confusion of that word. If we can recognize that these people that are at the gym, some of them are coming for reasons from what I call the corset And others are coming from Reasons for the Crown. Well, that gets a lot more specific. So the corset, if you haven't heard me talk about it before, is it's a metaphorical one that's all-- we've all been handed.

[00:10:58] Carrie Lupoli: And I know that [00:11:00] you can think of a time, I don't know, I- it's probably around seven or eight years old with all of the people that I've talked to. That's usually around the age where we can remember. It doesn't mean it's the first time that we've ever heard something, it's just our first recollection of a phrase, of a belief, of something that was said or done to us that made us feel like we aren't enough as we are.

[00:11:19] Carrie Lupoli: For, for many of us, it has to do with our outward appearance, our weight, but that's not always the case. And that's why I ask people all the time, "When was the corset first put on you?" The way I've been on this, like, podcast run recently, and I ask every podcaster that question. And it's interesting because they don't know I'm gonna ask it, and it kinda catches them off guard, and then they really stop and think about it.

[00:11:41] Carrie Lupoli: For me, it was when I was about seven years old, and my mom brushed my hair. Now, if... You know this hair, right? This curly hair. It was dry. I, uh, have a picture. You can see this picture. It's me and my sister. My sister is the younger one, and I'm with the short hair, short curly hair, and my mother would brush it out, and that was the result.

[00:11:59] Carrie Lupoli: I [00:12:00] remember saying to my mom, "Mom, it hurts when you do that." And she said, "Beauty hurts, baby." And it-- that was the first time that I think the corset was put on me. But my mom didn't mean anything harmful by it at all. We laugh about it today because it was just what she knew. Like, you have to sacrifice, you have to hurt, you have to punish, you have to deprive in order to look a certain way, and that is important because how you look is truly related to how valuable you are.

[00:12:24] Carrie Lupoli: Those weren't the words that my mother actually said, but that was what we unconsciously all started believing. So when was the corset first put on you? If you're listening to this, put a comment if you can. If you're on YouTube, you can hit like and hit subscribe, and then comment because that will be a really important first step for you in really getting to the one thing that I have, I'll follow my sword, is a, a piece of the puzzle of getting us to where we say we wanna go.

[00:12:52] Carrie Lupoli: So we've all kind of gotten this corset put on us, and throughout, over the years, it gets tighter and tighter, and [00:13:00] it's really... Like, like in Titanic when Rose's mom was putting the corset on her She was pulling and pulling and pulling. It gets tighter and tighter and tighter, and we do things that we think are what we're supposed to be doing, but what we don't realize is it's actually making the corset tighter and tighter.

[00:13:16] Carrie Lupoli: So let's think of some examples, like let's go back to the gym, right? We will do things if we're coming from the corset that make us just desperate, feeling deprived, like we have to punish ourselves, and the gym is a perfect example of that. There are some people that are going to the gym because they really feel like they need to look a certain way.

[00:13:36] Carrie Lupoli: And a, a key to that is, and when I train other health pros, I, w- I, I have a n- nutrition and lifestyle certification where I train dieticians and personal trainers and nutritionists to be able to implement this approach in their own, in their own practice. And we'll talk about goals of clients, and if somebody will say to a personal trainer, "I just wanna tone up," the first thing I always say is, "Why?

[00:13:59] Carrie Lupoli: [00:14:00] Why do you wanna tone up?" And it starts to unpack the truth about what they believe. And if they are coming from the corset, the results are very different. Because when we go to the gym from the corset, we are going and we're not enjoying it. We feel like it's a little bit torturous, and we're doing it because we're looking for a very specific outward result.

[00:14:18] Carrie Lupoli: But when we go to the gym from what I call the crown, that means we realize how valuable moving my body is, moving and strengthening my body because I love myself, and I know that this life container that I have been entrusted to care for has to be taken care of. I have a responsibility to show up as my best self, to honor this life container that I've been given.

[00:14:48] Carrie Lupoli: When I show up from the, to the gym with that in mind, it's amazing how much more I'll often do, but also how much more consistent I will be. [00:15:00] So if you don't know already, From Corset to Crown is already a best-selling book, and it's not even out in stores yet. But I want you to have your hands on this because this is going to be a toolbox for you, a reference book, and a daily source of inspiration.

[00:15:17] Carrie Lupoli: It's going to teach you not only the last nutritional advice you will ever need, but it's going to teach you how in every single day life you can go from the corset to the crown. So if you pre-order today, you get all sorts of great things, including the e-book for free before we actually send you the actual book in October.

[00:15:37] Carrie Lupoli: You're also gonna get a 10-episode private podcast that I recorded only for people who pre-ordered the book, where you are going to be able to get a behind-the-scenes story and perspective of all the things that went into getting to the point where I was ready to write the book. This is a book I needed 15 years ago, and it's one that I [00:16:00] continuously reference.

[00:16:01] Carrie Lupoli: And so not only will you get the private podcast, but I got a secret little gift for you within that, as well as a discussion guide and a private community with me and other people reading the book. So go pre-order the book now. Share it with a friend as well. Start a book club, and get yourself moving from corset to crown.

[00:16:23] Carrie Lupoli: And so I want you to think about that. Are we making decisions from the corset or the crown? I recently, on my morning time show, where I go, go live on Instagram and YouTube every morning, Monday through Friday, 8:00 AM Eastern Time, I recently talked about Dolly Parton. Dolly Parton passed away, and Dolly Parton, on the surface, you could say, has a lot of corset-like behavior.

[00:16:45] Carrie Lupoli: She admits, plastic surgery, wearing a wig, the, the, the outfits, the clothes. She even said, "I don't e- I don't go to bed without my makeup on, because what if there's a tornado? Like, if I have to leave the house, Dolly's gotta leave the house." And you could [00:17:00] really think about her as somebody that truly is coming from the corset, but when you listen to her speak and you really hear what she has to say, that woman knows who she is.

[00:17:11] Carrie Lupoli: Remember at the beginning of this, I talked about identity. Identity is a destination. She knew who she was. She was unapologetic about who she was. She was extremely self-deprecating and funny, and she loved the way she looked. She did not care if anybody liked it or not. That was who she was. So while a behavior could seem like it's coming from the corset, it's really around you know you.

[00:17:35] Carrie Lupoli: Who are you? Because I very much believe that Dolly was operating from the crown, that crown of self-worth, of self-leadership, of self-love. It didn't matter if she was having plastic surgery or having her wig. It was about why, and knowing your why at that level, with that framework, changes everything. The question, though, that I would get over and over, that I've been getting over and over again [00:18:00] as I talk about my book is, okay, how do we actually get ourselves into crown-straightening thinking?

[00:18:09] Carrie Lupoli: Because I think the corset is on so many of us that we don't even know that it's there. And I'm like, yes. Yes, that is true. I say all the time, self-consciousness is a disease, but self-awareness is health. Mel Robbins says that comparison is a teacher or a torture, or a torture or teacher. And when we are looking at improving ourselves, upleveling ourselves, getting, quote-unquote, healthier, because a lot of times people think that when they go after weight loss, they're actually going after health, but you're not.

[00:18:38] Carrie Lupoli: It's not called the health industry. It's called the weight loss industry And that is because we have said weight loss with any, by any means possible. But you know, people with cancer lose weight. That doesn't mean they're healthy. We have to flip the script on what we're doing and the words that we're using.

[00:18:53] Carrie Lupoli: Okay, that aside. When I think about this concept of how do we know that we're operating from the corset, [00:19:00] that's where self-awareness really truly is health. So when I was in college 5,000 years ago, I did not go to college with a laptop. I went to, or to the library with a laptop. I went to the library with a yellow legal pad and a pen or a pencil and an eraser.

[00:19:14] Carrie Lupoli: And I went to the library because I needed the books in the library. I needed the card catalog, the microfiche machine. Remember that microfiche machine? It was like sh, sh, sh. That's how I did my research. That's how I wrote my papers, and I know a lot of you in the, your 50s and 60s know it, know what, uh, I'm talking about.

[00:19:31] Carrie Lupoli: Even in your 40s. And so then I would have to go back to my dorm room and type on my brother word processor, which was pretty advanced at the time, my entire paper, and I'd have to use like whiteout if I screwed up a letter, right? All that stuff. I, I mean, just think about how miserable it was to write a paper, but I can still remember a lot of the papers that I wrote back when I was in college.

[00:19:54] Carrie Lupoli: Today, like I said, we have our CVS receipt list of a million things to do. We ChatGPT [00:20:00] our way through research, and we just go, go, go, go to the next thing. I literally ordered something from Amazon this morning, and it is already at my house this afternoon. We are in the quote-unquote quick fix mindset, but again, fix is the wrong word because it doesn't fix anything.

[00:20:16] Carrie Lupoli: A, we're not broken, but B, we assume there's going to be some sort of success at the end of that, and I want everyone to just be able to see success every single day, not just in one day when we actually get to that goal weight or that goal thing that we think will then bring us value. So when I think about the library.

[00:20:39] Carrie Lupoli: That's the thing we don't do. We are not actually taking time to think about our thinking. So when people ask me, "How do I go from corset to crown? How do I even know I'm operating from the corset?" If our head is down and we're Chat-GPTing our way through life, if we aren't looking up but we're just doing, doing, doing without thinking, if chaos is what we know, then peace is very [00:21:00] unfamiliar.

[00:21:00] Carrie Lupoli: If not taking any time to think about our thinking because we're just too busy doing, doing, doing, then thinking about our thinking is going to be very unfamiliar to our brain. So going from corset to crown, first we have to recognize the corset, and because we are so all over the place, we aren't actually taking the time to think about our thinking.

[00:21:22] Carrie Lupoli: I'm gonna go back to that phrase, self-consciousness is a disease. Self-awareness is health. So if the opposite of weight gain is not weight loss, but health, and health is self-awareness, well, then we have a bit of a formula here, don't we? If we can increase our self-awareness, we can become healthier, which can then eventually help us lose weight because that is a byproduct of health.

[00:21:46] Carrie Lupoli: A healthy body does not hold onto weight, and this is why I, I, I'm so... Even though I feel like my trajectory in my life has not played out, like I, I... You, I would not have... Me being a nutritionist would never have been on my bingo board 'cause I had such [00:22:00] a horrendous relationship with food and my body just 15 years ago, 13 years ago even.

[00:22:05] Carrie Lupoli: And if you had told me I would be talking about all of this with people, I mean, you've gotta be kidding me. But when I look back now on my life as my stories as a, a girl who had zero, zero self-esteem and had a, an eating disorder to a mom whose kids started talking about calories when they were five and six years old to one who traveled two weeks every single month as a behavior specialist to one who realized something's gotta change, and to be here now, it's just like this crazy 180.

[00:22:37] Carrie Lupoli: But what I see is that my story that's brought me here today has now allowed me to be able to help others be able to see this, too. As a behavior specialist, I was trained to look at a behavior kind of behind the curtain because the behavior that we see in front, whether it's with a kid, a spouse, yourself, a road rage person on the street, there's [00:23:00] always something behind it.

[00:23:01] Carrie Lupoli: And I write about this in my book From Corset to Crown If you're watching me on YouTube, I'm just gonna hold up my book, 'cause isn't she so pretty? Ugh, I just love her so much. Okay. So one of the very first things I learned as a behavior specialist is that every single behavior has a function. It, it's happened for one of two reasons, to gain something or to avoid something.

[00:23:18] Carrie Lupoli: That's it, which is so interesting to think about when you're ch- like, thinking about, "How do I change my behavior?" Okay, well, what am I getting out of it, or what am I avoiding by doing this behavior? That's like a whole nother podcast, so w- I'm gonna keep moving, because understanding behaviors means you have to be really aware of where it's coming from.

[00:23:40] Carrie Lupoli: And so if we wanna build health, and you agree with me that self-awareness is health, well, then we have to figure out how to become more self-aware, and it doesn't happen necessarily in the chaos of the day. It can, and there's opportunity for that, but Without a space for thinking about your thinking, without an [00:24:00] opportunity to actually live on what w- I consider or I call the right side of your brain, which is a little bit more of where that creative side comes in, into play.

[00:24:08] Carrie Lupoli: We are very much living on the left side of our brain, which is action-oriented, solution-driven, go, go, go. The right side of our brain is actually very uncomfortable for us to live in. There was actually a study done of people who were... went into a room with nothing to do except be with themselves, but there was a little machine that shocked them, and they got to feel what the shock felt like before they went in.

[00:24:30] Carrie Lupoli: So it wasn't like they wanted to test it out. They knew what it felt like. They go into a room, and within 15 minutes, 25% of the women voluntarily shock themselves. They would've rathered shock themselves than be alone with their thoughts, and even more men. So it is such an incredible study for us to think about because thinking about our thinking, being in a room by ourselves is very uncomfortable for us, but it is where our...

[00:24:55] Carrie Lupoli: so many of our thoughts come together. We make sense of things that [00:25:00] don't make sense, and we can actually, when we talk about reflection and how important that is, I mean, we can't do that without being on the right side of our brain. Have you ever been in the shower and just been, like, ideas come to you?

[00:25:12] Carrie Lupoli: There's actually something on Amazon I saw recently. It's like a notepad that you can put up in the shower because of what I call shower thoughts. My team knows after I get out of the shower, somebody's getting a Slack message, a voice memo from me saying, "Oh my gosh, I was just in the shower and I was thinking about blank."

[00:25:26] Carrie Lupoli: Because you don't have any other distractions, you're just in your thoughts. It's so powerful, but it can be very uncomfortable if that's not something we're used to. So that is why the very one thing that I have said to podcasters, to media, that I don't think people really understand the power of, is the importance of morning time.

[00:25:47] Carrie Lupoli: I know you've all heard of morning time. I know everybody talks about morning time, but the way that I look at it and break it down, I hope will make a lot of sense for you. Because we cannot change what we cannot see, and we are running around [00:26:00] distracted. We don't see things. So for example, when I am working out, 15 minutes can feel like an eternity sometimes.

[00:26:07] Carrie Lupoli: Like lifting heavy weights, doing a Peloton HIIT or a Tabata, it feels like forever. But I could be on my phone, totally distracted from the world around me, and 15 minutes feels like it just flies right by. Distraction allows us to disengage, but when we are actually forced to pay attention to something It's amazing how our brain responds.

[00:26:29] Carrie Lupoli: So when we give ourselves a little bit of time every single morning, and I know, and this is, and what I'm gonna say right now, this is corset centered thinking. When people say, "I, I don't have time in the morning. I do not have time in the morning," I say all the time, "We, we make time to brush our teeth because we know how important it is.

[00:26:45] Carrie Lupoli: We get dressed every day." I need people to put morning time in that same category of importance, because a staff meeting with yourself has to be a non-negotiable for you to be able to actually move in the direction you say [00:27:00] you want. At the very beginning of this podcast, I talked about how this is your life container.

[00:27:04] Carrie Lupoli: We're talking about you're only given one, and what a tragedy it will be when one day you pass away and you're up in heaven and God says, "You did good, but I had so much more planned for you." But we didn't pay attention. So I can help you do morning time in five minutes, 15 minutes, 45 minutes. You could even do it, if you have to, in the car.

[00:27:24] Carrie Lupoli: I don't love that. But you can. And when I say morning time, some people are like, "Well, if I don't have any time in the morning, can I do it at night?" And I'm like, "Listen, everybody gets..." I will always tell people you... I will never tell you what you can or can't eat, what you can or can't do, but I will educate you and empower you to make the decisions for yourself.

[00:27:38] Carrie Lupoli: And 1% progress is all it takes. So doing something is better than doing nothing. So if it's at night, that may be better for you. I just know that physiologically our body has more cortisol in the morning. We have just a different way of looking at situations versus when our battery is kind of on empty by nighttime.

[00:27:56] Carrie Lupoli: Our melatonin is higher and it's, we just process things differently, but [00:28:00] you get to choose. So in my book, there's a whole section, a whole chapter devoted to morning time, mornings that make you, and I purposely put it towards the end because I really want people to be bought in so that they realize how important all this stuff is that I'm talking about, that it's like, "Okay, you've convinced me.

[00:28:16] Carrie Lupoli: I'm gonna do this like I'm gonna brush my teeth every day." So there are three parts to morning time, and I'm just gonna share a little bit of each of those and then give you a little bit of research and then you can actually, if you grab my book, you can actually see the full protocol and all the information that surrounds it.

[00:28:32] Carrie Lupoli: Also have a morning time guide that is a good little companion to this. So we're gonna put that in the show notes so that you can have access to that as well. So the very first part of morning time, and again, we are talking about minutes or you can extend this longer, and it doesn't matter to me what conditions are out there on the ocean.

[00:28:50] Carrie Lupoli: So I want you to think about your life and your body like a sailboat. Like you have to sail. And a sailor out on the water, they are sailing. And so [00:29:00] regardless of what the conditions are of the wind or the weather, they gotta adjust to make sure they're sailing. And so if you are in stormy waters, you still have to sail.

[00:29:09] Carrie Lupoli: Does it mean you're gonna show up for yourself the way you would if you had favorable winds? No. But there's gotta still be some level of adjustment and a commitment to sailing. So I don't know what kinda waters you're in right now, if they're stormy waters, if they're tailwinds, if they're seem like things are stable or if you've got favorable winds, but the harder life is, the more you need to be self-aware because otherwise we go on autopilot and our brain has a negativity bias and we often do things that our nervous system tells us will soothe us, but our health absolutely disagrees with.

[00:29:44] Carrie Lupoli: So let's talk about the first part of morning time. It is getting grounded in gratitude. What? Yeah. When your brain actually can start to recognize the things that you have versus the things that you don't have, it changes the way you [00:30:00] show up in your life. So recently, my husband and I went on a bike ride, and we live on the shore.

[00:30:05] Carrie Lupoli: So we have a house that is just... Like, I can see the beach from my house. It's, it's amazing. I designed the house. We went on a bike ride, and we went through all these neighborhoods, and we went through some neighborhoods that were unbelievable. And I found myself actually looking at these houses that were bigger than mine.

[00:30:19] Carrie Lupoli: They were on the water. They were beautiful, and I was, like, pining after them. I was like, "Oh, I wish I had those houses." Comparison is the thief of all joy, right? Self-consciousness is a disease. Well, I got back to my house after that bike ride feeling defeated, walked into my house, not loving it, just being like, "Ugh, whatever," and looking for the things in my house that I didn't like.

[00:30:42] Carrie Lupoli: Conversely, the next day, I went and got my nails done, and I was at my nail lady's house. She's-- She does it in her basement. It's just me and her, and we were watching a crime thing, a CSI thing, and, and these detectives were... It was a, like, a real-life thing that you followed a detective around. And we went into these [00:31:00] neighborhoods that were just so decrepit and so unsafe and unsanitary and just scary.

[00:31:08] Carrie Lupoli: And I looked at it, and we looked at each other, and we were like, "Wow, can you imagine living like that?" And I, and I had this immense gratitude for where I lived, and I went home that day, the very next day, and I looked around, and I was so grateful. I saw this, my space with a totally different perspective when just the day before, I was looking for the things that were wrong And then the next day, because of the immense gratitude I had for what I had, I looked at it completely differently.

[00:31:35] Carrie Lupoli: When you are filled with joy and peace and clarity and confidence, you show up differently, and gratitude can help you do that. So gratitude is about finding the things that you have, not noticing the things you don't have. I write in my book that even Oprah doesn't have everything. She doesn't have my dog, for example.

[00:31:53] Carrie Lupoli: She can buy any dog she wants, but she can't have my dog. There's always something that you don't have, and we can perseverate on [00:32:00] that or we can focus on what we do have. And so one of the things I wrote in here is that gratitude isn't just positive thinking. It literally changes your brain and body.

[00:32:08] Carrie Lupoli: When you practice gratitude, your brain starts firing dopamine and serotonin, which are your natural feel-good chemicals. Over time, it's like your brain gets better at automatically spotting the good instead of obsessing over what's wrong. That's huge, because if left on autopilot, our brains are wired with a negativity bias.

[00:32:25] Carrie Lupoli: We're more likely to notice what's broken, missing, or stressful, and gratitude flips the script. And it's one of the reasons why women especially who struggle with their bodies, but men too, finding something about your body to be grateful for, because your body has been doing its darndest to be your best friend, and we often hate on it.

[00:32:43] Carrie Lupoli: We're frustrated with it, when in all reality, we're putting that effort into the wrong things, because our body's been trying to keep up with the inputs that we've been putting into it. So thank it, and then recognize that you have a responsibility to take care of [00:33:00] it. Okay, and so that's the first part of morning time, and you can, you can do that in like a minute, let's be honest.

[00:33:06] Carrie Lupoli: Take some time to write out what I'm grateful for, and then I read a devotional, because I really want to remember that I am here for a purpose, that there is something bigger than me, perfect, that has made me and that has made this world. And I show so much gratitude every single day to the God that made me and to the plan that he has for me.

[00:33:24] Carrie Lupoli: I add that piece into my gratitude work, but again, you can make it however works for you and continue to up level. Okay, number two, the second part of morning time, it is around new learning. growth. Because when y- you know like when older people, they do crossword puzzles and think they keep their brain going?

[00:33:44] Carrie Lupoli: There's a lot of reason and rationale behind that, but I wanna take it another step further. Because we get stuck in our own world and in our own bubbles, and when we actually take a little bit of time to learn something new, maybe you're listening to a podcast, maybe you're going to my morning time live on Instagram or [00:34:00] YouTube, or maybe you're taking some time, and this is what I prefer for you, to read a part of a nonfiction book, to dig into a course maybe that you're taking.

[00:34:09] Carrie Lupoli: And when I say read, like you might have enough time to read one paragraph. Maybe you're driving to work and you're listening to an Audible. That's one thing. Side note, I did my book on Audible. I just finished it. I have a whole new respect for people who read their own books, because that was forever, it took us four days.

[00:34:27] Carrie Lupoli: I still have a fifth day to do to do some edits and, and like four to five hours each time of just reading. And like the director and the producer saying, "Can you do that again? You had mouth noise." I'm like, "What the heck is mouth noise?" Okay. But when you actually are learning something new, even a little bit, you start to open up your brain in new ways.

[00:34:48] Carrie Lupoli: But even more than that, because remember, this is about identity, the way that we've been wired to handle things is what we need to start unwiring, rewiring, to be able to handle things [00:35:00] differently, handle food, handle pressures, handle finances, handle relationships, handle ourselves differently. And the way we've been doing it hasn't been working, because we're looking for changes, right?

[00:35:09] Carrie Lupoli: So when we actually look at learning, I, I write this in my book here too, it doesn't just give you new information, it changes the way you show up. You don't need to spend hours in a classroom for it to count. Just a few minutes of growth every morning takes you out of your own little bubble and reminds you that the world is bigger than your to-do list, your frustrations, or the drama from yesterday.

[00:35:28] Carrie Lupoli: When you learn something new, your brain actually forms new connections, sharp and flexible. Think of it like strength training, but for your neurons. Your brain loves to challenge. It literally gets stronger the more you feed it. When you're in the habit of learning, you build resilience. Instead of just seeing problems, your brain starts to look for solutions.

[00:35:47] Carrie Lupoli: How many times do you have problems in your life, and then perseverate on the problem or stress about the problem or obsess about the problem? That then causes us to do things that are very likely unhealthy. [00:36:00] But when we can actually learn something new, reflect on it, it builds resilience in the rest of our day.

[00:36:06] Carrie Lupoli: Psychologists call this cognitive flexibility, but I call it hope. And hope is contagious. It makes you feel excited about what's possible instead of defeated by what feels hard. So new learning is important. And then we talk about time blocking. So intentional planning where we're leading ourselves instead of just being like

[00:36:27] Carrie Lupoli: I mean, when we have the CVS receipt to-do list, it is impossible to feel successful because you can't get it all done. You just can't, and there's always something else on there, and it feels hard. It feels overwhelming, and that's just living in low vibes, and that's where that corset mentality is constantly just permeating.

[00:36:45] Carrie Lupoli: I can't get everything done. I just need the kids to go to college. I just need to be able to make more money. I just need more time. That's corset centered thinking. But when we can actually focus on top three things, no matter what, these are the three things I gotta get done today, and [00:37:00] time block it into my schedule, literally block it in, it's amazing how much success we can feel.

[00:37:06] Carrie Lupoli: But what we're doing during that time is we're actually reflecting on what we did or didn't do yesterday, looking at our successes, looking at the things that maybe we didn't make the best choices about, and think about our thinking. Why did I do that yesterday? Why did I have that reaction? Why did I skip lunch with somebody?

[00:37:22] Carrie Lupoli: W- why did I yell at my kid? And you'll start to recognize the behaviors that are coming from the corset versus the crown. And the best part about it is that you don't get to feel guilty 'cause you can't go back and change anything in the past. You can move forward. You just can't change the past. So we just move in the direction of health every single day, and part of that is thinking about your thinking.

[00:37:44] Carrie Lupoli: If self-awareness is health, being self-aware about why you did the things that you did, because every behavior has a reason behind it. And when you start to recognize that and analyze that and go to the library Every day with yourself, even for a few minutes, to plan, to [00:38:00] reset, to realign, to get intentional, you can start to do the things you want to do.

[00:38:06] Carrie Lupoli: And when you're showing up for morning time every day, you will not wake up in six months from now and be like, "How the heck did I get here? Oh my gosh." Because you're, you're having a staff meeting with yourself every single day, and you know exactly where and when things started to deviate. But because you're doing this every single day, you never, ever get that far off course.

[00:38:25] Carrie Lupoli: You're like a GPS. You make a wrong turn, recalculating, and it just gets you back on track. It's about rewiring the way we're looking at things. And so that one thing, spending time with yourself every morning, that staff meeting with yourself, is an act that helps you recognize the corset, center yourself, and straighten your crown so you can start your day empowered, confident, clear, and joyful, all before you may have even lost a single pound.

[00:38:54] Carrie Lupoli: It really is that simple. We have been conditioned to believe to make big changes in our life, it has [00:39:00] to be disruptive, and I'm just gonna disrupt everything you've ever been told about that. Because starting this practice every day for even a few minutes with these three parts, getting grounded in gratitude, learning something new, and intentionally reflecting on and planning your day, it'll change everything about how you show up and your results.

[00:39:18] Carrie Lupoli: Because when you're functioning from the corset, you get what you've gotten, and it's not positive, it's not healthy, and it's not sustainable. But when you actually straighten your crown and make decisions from the crown, you are aligned, you are high vibe, and you are becoming the healthiest version of you every single day.

[00:39:37] Carrie Lupoli: So I hope that this encourages you to say, "All right, I gotta, I gotta stick with this. I gotta stick with this for a bit of time." So like I said, if you go and order my book, From Corset to Crown, not only will you have this whole protocol, but there are a ton of resources within the, the, the book that I lead you to, to be able to support you in this.

[00:39:57] Carrie Lupoli: And I also will put in our show notes my morning [00:40:00] time guide that's just like a quick excerpt on the summary of what we've talked about today. And thank you for engaging me for this period of time, 'cause I can't do this on social media. I can't do this with a guest. I can only do this with me and you together in a room like we're at a coffee shop chattin' away.

[00:40:17] Carrie Lupoli: So whatever is stressing you out, whatever is making you feel frustrated, the opportunity to be able to become self-aware and recognize the corset that might be dictating your truth, which actually isn't true, it's truthiness. The corset lies, but the crown is truth. So go ahead and straighten your crown and then straighten someone else's.

[00:40:36] Carrie Lupoli: We'll see you next time.